Member Rara Avis
I seem to be wholely dispossessed of the idea of sleeping, so .... here goes.
I believe in soul-shards, but not twin flame. Twin flame would mean yr the same in every way, even made of the same thing (flame). With soul-shard, you at least have the option of comin' from the middle, or an edge. And with a shard, it's not just a duality -- who knows how many shards there are?
As for what you'd gamble to be with them? Pretty much everything. Like, for Lori, I'm willing to forsake California (with all of its problems) and a job I'm just now nestling into so I can throw myself into a life 2,000 miles away, in a different country, with who knows how much of a time to adjust. But for her, yes, I'll do it ...
As for your cycle of abuse question (which you reduced down to bein' in a rut of the mind) -- to break out of the rut, you do a violent change. To break out of my rut in New Hampshire, I ripped myself up and threw myself down 3,000 miles away in California. We all gravitate toward the familiar ... I wanted to screw everything that was familiar and basically have a clean start. Which is a lot more romantic and ideal than the reality, a'course, but it still helped (and hurt).
If you're building yourself up to avoid, I guess the only way out is to realize, after years and years wasted, that it's time to stop avoiding. Or you can keep closin' your eyes until they're closed permanently and six feet below (unless a cool N.O. flood comes in and causes the corpses to uproot!).
Question three is hard 'cause it's vague how you've worded it. Obviously, some people you cannot learn to trust again. To do so would be detrimental to both of you. But, for others, trust is a start to healing and understanding -- maybe even forgiveness. Or at least a little piece of mind.
I'm not sure how much any of that helped you, but it sure made me ready to finally, finally sleep....
These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun.