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Passions in Poetry

Online Friendships--Real Life Trials

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MinisterJoe
New Member
since 05-20-2002
[First Post] 8
Texas


0 posted 05-20-2002 10:36 PM       View Profile for MinisterJoe   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for MinisterJoe


Heya guys--I was brought over to this site, by Angel, an old-timer (but she still looks damn good for seventeen.  lol) from Enter the Muse, and I want to chunk this topic out to you.

I've had several online friendships, that have recently taken quite a beating, and you know what I've found?  Even though these partnerships--writing, chatting, just plain old fooling around--are just virtual, when the mettle of the relationship is tested by some very real emotions, and events, it gets stronger.  And those friends that were never meant to be--fall to the wayside.

So now, when someone says it's just an online friendship, I have to turn to them and say,

"So how is that different from any other friendship?"

What do you guys think?

--Joe  (a ridiculously happy man because my sweet Suz brought me here)

Ta Angel
Angel
Senior Member
since 07-02-99
Posts 597
Pennsylvania


1 posted 05-20-2002 10:55 PM       View Profile for Angel   Email Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Angel

We may have had our troubles but we're still here. Kind of hard to get rid of the two of us. You'll fit right in here, Joe, I promise.

As far as online friendships, I was weary of them at first, but as you know as well as anyone, they can be quite real. I am beginning to get attached to my online family, especially you bro .

Well, sit back, relax and enjoy this simply awesome site. My, it feels good to be back.

~Susie
MinisterJoe
New Member
since 05-20-2002
Posts 8
Texas


2 posted 05-20-2002 11:01 PM       View Profile for MinisterJoe   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for MinisterJoe

Suz, you know you're my 'lil Sis?  Now when am I getting prom pics?

Impatiently taps Doc Martens...

And thank you again--this site is a much welcome change in atmosphere--ahhh is that what oxygen smells like? lol

"My center is giving way, my right is in retreat; situation excellent. I shall attack." Ferdinand Foch - Battle of the Marne

Wallflower
New Member
since 05-20-2002
Posts 3
VA/US


3 posted 05-20-2002 11:11 PM       View Profile for Wallflower   Email Wallflower   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Wallflower

Aww you guys, gonna get me all mushy and shtuff.

I think the only difference btwn online and "real" (pfft) friends, is that real friends can hold your hand, but they can also smack that hand.  You have to know what your dealing with i suppose.  i'm just glad i do have the ol friends that i do.
MinisterJoe
New Member
since 05-20-2002
Posts 8
Texas


4 posted 05-20-2002 11:16 PM       View Profile for MinisterJoe   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for MinisterJoe

Brandi!

Good lord, this is an ETM convention.  Do we get name badges, and have to hold a glass of punch for two hours talking about nothing?

Of course not, because you gals rock.

Oh yes--*stretches out in recliner*--this is now home.

"My center is giving way, my right is in retreat; situation excellent. I shall attack." Ferdinand Foch - Battle of the Marne

[This message has been edited by MinisterJoe (05-20-2002 11:17 PM).]

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


5 posted 05-21-2002 08:00 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Passions in Poetry is more than a group of online friends.  It's a virtual online family.  We're a very close knit circle of writers who support each other through laughter and tears.  

We meet when we can, we enjoy each other, and we rely upon each other.  That's what we're all about.  After all, we have a common bond... We all write... and we always have room for more writers in this family.  Welcome..
MinisterJoe
New Member
since 05-20-2002
Posts 8
Texas


6 posted 05-21-2002 01:01 PM       View Profile for MinisterJoe   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for MinisterJoe

Thank you Nan for the welcome--I'm really looking forward to adding to the family.

--Joe

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 05-07-2001
Posts 5297
Netherlands


7 posted 05-21-2002 06:22 PM       View Profile for Titia Geertman   Email Titia Geertman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Titia Geertman's Home Page   View IP for Titia Geertman


Hi MinisterJoe,

I'm sure you'll like it in this family, cuz there ain't nothing like it on the net.
Once you signed up, you are hooked for life.

All a bunch of addicts we are LOL

Welcome Joe, I'll be seeing you 'round then

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Check out my new website: lookheretitia.fcpages.com (I didn't 'link' this, so it won't take too much space).I

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


8 posted 05-21-2002 07:02 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

It's like any family, really. Once yr in, there's no escape. Heh heh.

Nah, online relationships are fine. But they can be frustrating at points, too. Touch -- even in friendship -- is a very important part of human interaction. So is sight. *Hearing.* But ... it's awright.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

MinisterJoe
New Member
since 05-20-2002
Posts 8
Texas


9 posted 05-21-2002 08:25 PM       View Profile for MinisterJoe   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for MinisterJoe

Ta for the welcome Titia, families are special enough by themselves, but a family brought together by a common artistic need and love to write--to get feedback--to express themselves, well that is a special family indeed.  I've found that strength--either creative, skill, or soul--comes from patience, compassion, an innate knowledge of when it's time to laugh, be silly, completely serious, and tough.  Angel tells me that passions is like that--and from what I've seen, and read so far--I've found that to be true.

So I definitely will be seeing you around.  

bsquirrel--yes touch is vital.  But in some ways, my online friends--my small online family has been able to that somehow through cyberspace... although nothing can compare to a real hug at the right moment, but they come real close sometimes.

Thanks again for the welcome y'all. (I was born in Texas...I just had to say that)

--Joe


"My center is giving way, my right is in retreat; situation excellent. I shall attack." Ferdinand Foch - Battle of the Marne

[This message has been edited by MinisterJoe (05-21-2002 08:26 PM).]

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 05-18-2001
Posts 29020
Gaia


10 posted 05-21-2002 08:27 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

Welcome to the friendliest forum around. Mind your table manners, and everyone will not only serve you delicious treats, they will gobble up the ones you offer. BTW, I like devils food cake once in a while, but angel food is cool too.
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


11 posted 05-21-2002 08:49 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Hey Joe welcome..

I've found a few things in my three years of forming close friendships over the net...

Firstly - some of them have truly stood the test of time...some of these people are just as close - and one or two are even closer - than my 'real life' friends. I've met several and those meetings enabled me to transform the shadow of the person into the whole...

But then...then there are those who seem to find it easier to disappear because of the absence of face-to-face communication. And this has been openly stated by several people who have been quite 'close' to me...

For some - the distancing has resulted because of outside life, and other circumstances...and this is understandable over this medium..

K

MinisterJoe
New Member
since 05-20-2002
Posts 8
Texas


12 posted 05-21-2002 11:35 PM       View Profile for MinisterJoe   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for MinisterJoe

Ahh Midnitesun, you'll find that I bring in equal share of devil's food and angel food cake to the table, but I always mind my manners--my grandmother would thwack the back of my hand with a fork if I got too grabby...  ahh family dinners are going to be fun around here.

Severn,

It is much easier for people to pull away in the cyber world, and to come back again.  I describe this as the yoyo effect, and once I really let it get to me, until I realized that they we're going to do what they needed to do.  Maybe they needed space, time, quiet... and I just had to accept them on their own terms, and garner what positive things I could out of the relationship.

And then there are those steadfast bonds--I would love to meet with some of these friends, that seem to never waver in intensity.  These people are more than friends.. they are indeed family.

--Joe

Wallflower
New Member
since 05-20-2002
Posts 3
VA/US


13 posted 05-22-2002 07:40 PM       View Profile for Wallflower   Email Wallflower   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Wallflower

sometimes online friends have a harder time being more considerate.  thank you joe for being considerate of my feelings   i luv ya lots

[This message has been edited by Wallflower (05-22-2002 07:47 PM).]

NapalmsConstantlyConfused
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 05-15-2001
Posts 960


14 posted 05-23-2002 11:45 AM       View Profile for NapalmsConstantlyConfused   Email NapalmsConstantlyConfused   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for NapalmsConstantlyConfused

my take on online relationships is admittedly biased (for reasons that should be obvious to anyone that knows both Tara and myself,) but it seems straightforward to me.
the basis of a true friendship is the mind.
not the car you drive, or the money you have (or don't, lol,) or your appearance, or your "image." your mind.
although it is in fact quite easy to lie online, faking a whole personality is much more difficult. an online relationship, whether friendship or romance, offers an otherwise impossible opportunity: you get to know the PERSON, without being distracted by inessentials like "wow, pretty."
i say inessentials because by the time you hit 80, you aren't pretty anymore, no matter HOW you started out. what keeps you going into a true, deep, lasting relationship of any kind is the mind and personality of the people involved, and online, that's what you get to know first.
what a great idea! if you can get along with the person, everything else can be worked out. if you think they have a nice rump, but you hate their personality - well, that's kind of a problem, lmao.
as long as you keep a healthy sense of paranoia, online == good
-Dave
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


15 posted 05-23-2002 02:10 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

i agree with most of what's said above... i have many friends online... and though i haven't met most of them, they are no less special to me for that.
Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


16 posted 05-23-2002 05:12 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Funny since going to Nan's this summer and meeting poets in person, I am even closer to the friends I have made in Passions, as I think you see more of a person when they write as they speak their heart.  In everyday friendships, I think a lot is really hidden that is inside a person, the old, be strong thing, whereas in here you can just be yourself and are accepted accordingly.  Joe, you are going to love this family, they really do stick together and look out for each other.  Welcome!

~* Tell someone in your family that you love them today *~

Ladycat
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 07-05-99
Posts 809
At the edge and a doorway,TX


17 posted 05-30-2002 11:50 AM       View Profile for Ladycat   Email Ladycat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ladycat's Home Page   View IP for Ladycat

Hiya,
It's nice to have you here with us.  Take your shoes off and stay awhile. It is always great to meet new people here.  Not that the old ones are bad, but it is nice to see how much that we have grown. In July, I will have been here for three years.  Before I was here, I was over at the other forum with the same people.  Now, I love these people and I know these people, but they don't know half as much about me as my RL friends do.  They aren't around as much.  One of my very bestfriends lives across the highway from me and see come to the forum from time to time to read all the things that I post, but she also comes to my house.  We have lunch together.  We are friend.  
Unfortunately, I can't put all the people on the forum in my pocket and take them home with me no matter how much I try.  That is why they will always be my online friends and my friends will always be my friends..

Take care and I'm sure that I confused you more than before.

Love,
Ladycat

Live in my world just once and you'll find yourself enraptured.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Laureate
since 08-30-2000
Posts 15536
San Juan, Puerto Rico


18 posted 05-30-2002 10:26 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

I believe that these online friendships can be just as real as real life ones....even "more real".....geesh I think my grammar has gone to hell heehee...
Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 11-06-2000
Posts 8628
Deep in the heart


19 posted 05-31-2002 12:42 PM       View Profile for Interloper   Email Interloper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Interloper

Welcome to Passions.  When are you gong to post a poem or ... ?
I think you are gonna love this place
 
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