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Deeper Emotions

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Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 09-10-2001
Posts 10765
United States


0 posted 05-19-2002 08:23 PM       View Profile for Larry C   Email Larry C   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Larry C's Home Page   View IP for Larry C

Now that I have succeeded in spreading gloom and doom from one end of these blue walls to the other...

Relief is in sight for everyone. I have two more poems that I wrote on my plane flight here. I am returning to my sons place tonight and that is where the relief may be in sight. There is no internet there.

Please know that I am not experienced in this process but neither am I ignorant. I have take classes in college on death and dying and on grief. My only hope is that I can avoid the anger phase. I say that because of my strong faith in God and my confidence in eternal life.

My daughter did not suffer in any of this as she was unconcious from the beginning. She has been spared many of the sorrows of life. And she spared her daddy his greatest fear. She didn't know crap about men. At 28 she died a single woman longing to be married and loved by a good man. I have been blessed with an incredibly wonderful daughter. Our relationship couldn't have been stronger.

Thank you all for allowing me to express my sorrow. I absolutely intend to express to you the joy she gave me beyond that which is already posted in these blue walls.

Bless you all for your prayers and your love and support. From the bottom of my breaking heart...Larry
Tracey
Member Elite
since 08-29-2001
Posts 3003
where insanity meets breeding


1 posted 05-19-2002 09:01 PM       View Profile for Tracey   Email Tracey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Tracey

Hey Larry, you are not spreading doom and gloom here…we are your friends, and each and every one of us cries out for the pain you are going through. I’m so glad to know that she didn’t suffer, it must hold some small consolation for you. I’m glad you are able to get a little of your grieving out in your poetry. I can only say, take it one day at a time, and know we are here for you.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


2 posted 05-19-2002 09:04 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine


Larry, just take care of you and yours.  We'll be here when you return, and we will try to help you through the anger.
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


3 posted 05-19-2002 09:08 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Larry

Feelings need to be expressed, and your sadness and grief are not gloom to us.  Take care of yourself and please write some with pen and ink while you are computerless...then post when you get back.  okay?
Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 09-10-2001
Posts 10765
United States


4 posted 05-19-2002 09:12 PM       View Profile for Larry C   Email Larry C   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Larry C's Home Page   View IP for Larry C

Bless you all. I almost refuse to write with pen and paper. Although three nights ago I fell asleep at midnight and awoke at 1:30 with the first verse of a poem running in my head. I rummaged in the dark and found a dull pencil and paper, cracked open the laundry room door and in five minutes I wrote a very intense poem. So...I can't say never. I'll post it later.

And as to all the emotional baggage I seldom hide...

[This message has been edited by Larry C (05-19-2002 09:13 PM).]

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


5 posted 05-19-2002 09:25 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine


Some of us have tread those paths, Larry.  In your way, with your friends, you are talking, and we are extending the only hand we can just now, tinged in blue...just don't ask how many boxes of Kleenex we've gone through today...and just keep talking, my friend, just keep talking...
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


6 posted 05-19-2002 09:44 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Larry,
as when I read your post this morning in announcments, my words seem so inadequate.
The loss is so heartbreaking that words wont do it justice. When these things happen we want to know why, we have so many questions and the realization that for some things there are no logical answers, is always the hardest lesson to learn.  
There is no wrong way to grieve...each must be allowed to do so in their own way and in their own time. I know you will find your way of healing in this...and I know you will find the words to do her justice.
Do you know how I know this? Remember the email you sent me after reading a poem of mine? You will find your reasons and your way, in the "traces left behind."
I know you understand.
take as much time as you need.
heart-hugs to you all.
respectfully,
jm
Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 09-10-2001
Posts 10765
United States


7 posted 05-19-2002 10:43 PM       View Profile for Larry C   Email Larry C   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Larry C's Home Page   View IP for Larry C

Thank you.
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 05-18-2001
Posts 29020
Gaia


8 posted 05-20-2002 02:54 AM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

Peaceful thoughts and warmest hugs. Give your son an extra hug from me, his missing soul-aunt. IS there such a thing as a soul-aunt? There is now. Love to all, Kacy.
Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 09-09-2000
Posts 10848
In Your Poetic Mind


9 posted 05-20-2002 10:31 AM       View Profile for Greeneyes   Email Greeneyes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Greeneyes

softly

I, as many will be praying for you....you have a strong support here, lean on these shoulders....we love you....

Lauren~

I would rather have one breath of his hair,
one kiss of his mouth,
one touch of his hand
than an eternity without it.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


10 posted 05-20-2002 12:58 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Ah, it's not doom and gloom, Larry. It's honest suffering and heartache. And if this were only about smiles and flowers, it wouldn't be a very good family to be part of.

Take care. And when the anger comes, let it ...

God bless.

Mike

She said burn ... together.
-TON

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


11 posted 05-20-2002 04:29 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Larry~
Know that we are with you in spirit, wherever you need to go~
Return when you need the shoulders of friends~
Meanwhile ... we will hold you all gently in our prayers~
*HUGS*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
         noles1@totcon.com                    

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


12 posted 05-20-2002 04:50 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

Peace be with you through this turbulent time, Larry.

Christopher
Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 05-07-2001
Posts 5297
Netherlands


13 posted 05-20-2002 06:13 PM       View Profile for Titia Geertman   Email Titia Geertman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Titia Geertman's Home Page   View IP for Titia Geertman


I'll second all the above

HUGS dear friend

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Check out my new website: lookheretitia.fcpages.com (I didn't 'link' this, so it won't take too much space).I

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 09-10-2001
Posts 10765
United States


14 posted 05-20-2002 07:01 PM       View Profile for Larry C   Email Larry C   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Larry C's Home Page   View IP for Larry C

What wonderful friendships I have found here...thank you.
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


15 posted 05-20-2002 08:15 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Take all you need, Larry - You certainly give us equally as much... Then - if you need more than that - Take that too - We're here for the duration...
ambermize
Member
since 04-21-2001
Posts 155
California


16 posted 05-21-2002 01:53 AM       View Profile for ambermize   Email ambermize   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ambermize

I think I speak for everyone when I say.."thank you, for allowing us to be here for you" I have come to find passions like a family, and your loss I have felt deeply. Your poetry brought tears to my eyes, and if you need to talk I am always here to listen. I remember how it felt when I lost my father, so from the other perspective, I can say I know where you are coming from. Although no one can truly understand the pain of another, I know that god will bring you some relief. You are a good man, and I believe that he is watching over you, and is keeping your daughter safe now. All my love and blessings...
        Amber
catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 06-03-2000
Posts 9897
The Shores of Alone


17 posted 05-21-2002 09:08 AM       View Profile for catalinamoon   Email catalinamoon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit catalinamoon's Home Page   View IP for catalinamoon

Well, my friend, your sadness is not spreading doom and gloom. It is honest feeling, and we all share that here. Speaking fo myself,if any little thing or bit of support from a fellow poet can help, I am happy to be able to. And I know everyone else here is, also.
Keep writing and sharing Larry. You were lucky enough to miss most of my heartbroken rantings last year, but believe me, I didn't hold it back. And I always received caring and love (and a few lectures)
We love you, Larry. And to your wife, who  I don't know, pease tell her we love her too, through knowing you, and send her hugs as well.
Sandra
SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 09-23-2001
Posts 7301
On A Journey To The Unknown


18 posted 05-22-2002 05:11 PM       View Profile for SmartChick   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit SmartChick's Home Page   View IP for SmartChick

Larry, I am so glad that your daughter didn't suffer. As for spreading gloom and doom, you have in no way done that. We are all here for you. That's what friends and family is for. We will be here for you as long as you need us.
Big hugs to you and your family.
NapalmsConstantlyConfused
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 05-15-2001
Posts 960


19 posted 05-23-2002 11:38 AM       View Profile for NapalmsConstantlyConfused   Email NapalmsConstantlyConfused   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for NapalmsConstantlyConfused

yeah, what they said.
gloom and doom? pshaw. (pshaw, i say.)
sharing the pain can sometimes make the load a bit lighter - and if that little bit can save a good person from breaking, we've done a good deed, indeed.
you happen to be a good person. (my opinion, but i think shared by most.)
losing a child is such a terrible thing that it cannot be expressed; and it's precisely at a time like this when your friends, if they are in fact friends, will step forward to help you carry a bit of the burden.
you're blessed: you've had a whole STACK of friends show up out of the woodwork to help in any way they can.
gloom and doom? hardly. rather you've given us all, by allowing us to share your pain and help, even if only a little, an opportunity to return the friendship that you offer so freely to everyone in the blue pages.
i won't offer truisms or cliches; i won't presume to guess how you must be feeling. what i will say is that i personally feel honored that you have allowed us to share this burden with you, and volunteer the fact that my load-bearing capacity is pretty high. lay it on, man, we're here for you.
-Dave
Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 12-05-2001
Posts 8552
Michigan


20 posted 05-29-2002 12:14 AM       View Profile for Madame Chipmunk   Email Madame Chipmunk   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Madame Chipmunk's Home Page   View IP for Madame Chipmunk

I can't believe I didn't see this until now....
But please don't worry about the doom and gloom, Larry....Chipmunks seem to do that better than humans...especially on this website....and you know for sure how much doom and gloom this rodent has spread around.

Just write your heart out and then post it and there will be lots of love here to receive it...and the love will be sent back to you.  Thats why I love this place so much...and I bet its why you love it too!

So many wonderful, sensitive and caring friends.

I'll be looking for those poems, and don't be afraid to post them...also don't be afraid of the anger...if you suppress it, it will come out somehow, sometime in some other way and it might surprise you how it does...so, please don't be afraid of it...its a normal part of grieving....as though grieving for one's child could ever be normal.  If you need to talk, you have my phone number...please call.  I wrote the book on grieving.
~ sad and soft loving hugs from Madame C to her brother, Larry C

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 09-10-2001
Posts 10765
United States


21 posted 06-04-2002 01:37 AM       View Profile for Larry C   Email Larry C   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Larry C's Home Page   View IP for Larry C

Thanks to all of you. I have just got back online. I'm so glad you have been here.
Larry C will be notified of replies
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