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Larry C
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0 posted 2002-05-19 08:23 PM


Now that I have succeeded in spreading gloom and doom from one end of these blue walls to the other...

Relief is in sight for everyone. I have two more poems that I wrote on my plane flight here. I am returning to my sons place tonight and that is where the relief may be in sight. There is no internet there.

Please know that I am not experienced in this process but neither am I ignorant. I have take classes in college on death and dying and on grief. My only hope is that I can avoid the anger phase. I say that because of my strong faith in God and my confidence in eternal life.

My daughter did not suffer in any of this as she was unconcious from the beginning. She has been spared many of the sorrows of life. And she spared her daddy his greatest fear. She didn't know crap about men. At 28 she died a single woman longing to be married and loved by a good man. I have been blessed with an incredibly wonderful daughter. Our relationship couldn't have been stronger.

Thank you all for allowing me to express my sorrow. I absolutely intend to express to you the joy she gave me beyond that which is already posted in these blue walls.

Bless you all for your prayers and your love and support. From the bottom of my breaking heart...Larry

© Copyright 2002 Larry Chadwick - All Rights Reserved
Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
1 posted 2002-05-19 09:01 PM


Hey Larry, you are not spreading doom and gloom here…we are your friends, and each and every one of us cries out for the pain you are going through. I’m so glad to know that she didn’t suffer, it must hold some small consolation for you. I’m glad you are able to get a little of your grieving out in your poetry. I can only say, take it one day at a time, and know we are here for you.
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2002-05-19 09:04 PM



Larry, just take care of you and yours.  We'll be here when you return, and we will try to help you through the anger.

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2002-05-19 09:08 PM


Larry

Feelings need to be expressed, and your sadness and grief are not gloom to us.  Take care of yourself and please write some with pen and ink while you are computerless...then post when you get back.  okay?

Larry C
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4 posted 2002-05-19 09:12 PM


Bless you all. I almost refuse to write with pen and paper. Although three nights ago I fell asleep at midnight and awoke at 1:30 with the first verse of a poem running in my head. I rummaged in the dark and found a dull pencil and paper, cracked open the laundry room door and in five minutes I wrote a very intense poem. So...I can't say never. I'll post it later.

And as to all the emotional baggage I seldom hide...

[This message has been edited by Larry C (05-19-2002 09:13 PM).]

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
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Listening to every heart
5 posted 2002-05-19 09:25 PM



Some of us have tread those paths, Larry.  In your way, with your friends, you are talking, and we are extending the only hand we can just now, tinged in blue...just don't ask how many boxes of Kleenex we've gone through today...and just keep talking, my friend, just keep talking...

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2002-05-19 09:44 PM


Larry,
as when I read your post this morning in announcments, my words seem so inadequate.
The loss is so heartbreaking that words wont do it justice. When these things happen we want to know why, we have so many questions and the realization that for some things there are no logical answers, is always the hardest lesson to learn.  
There is no wrong way to grieve...each must be allowed to do so in their own way and in their own time. I know you will find your way of healing in this...and I know you will find the words to do her justice.
Do you know how I know this? Remember the email you sent me after reading a poem of mine? You will find your reasons and your way, in the "traces left behind."
I know you understand.
take as much time as you need.
heart-hugs to you all.
respectfully,
jm

Larry C
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7 posted 2002-05-19 10:43 PM


Thank you.
Midnitesun
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Gaia
8 posted 2002-05-20 02:54 AM


Peaceful thoughts and warmest hugs. Give your son an extra hug from me, his missing soul-aunt. IS there such a thing as a soul-aunt? There is now. Love to all, Kacy.
Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
9 posted 2002-05-20 10:31 AM


softly

I, as many will be praying for you....you have a strong support here, lean on these shoulders....we love you....

Lauren~

I would rather have one breath of his hair,
one kiss of his mouth,
one touch of his hand
than an eternity without it.

bsquirrel
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since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

10 posted 2002-05-20 12:58 PM


Ah, it's not doom and gloom, Larry. It's honest suffering and heartache. And if this were only about smiles and flowers, it wouldn't be a very good family to be part of.

Take care. And when the anger comes, let it ...

God bless.

Mike

She said burn ... together.
-TON

Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
11 posted 2002-05-20 04:29 PM


Larry~
Know that we are with you in spirit, wherever you need to go~
Return when you need the shoulders of friends~
Meanwhile ... we will hold you all gently in our prayers~
*HUGS*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
         noles1@totcon.com                    

Christopher
Moderator
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since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
12 posted 2002-05-20 04:50 PM


Peace be with you through this turbulent time, Larry.

Christopher

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
13 posted 2002-05-20 06:13 PM



I'll second all the above

HUGS dear friend

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Check out my new website: lookheretitia.fcpages.com (I didn't 'link' this, so it won't take too much space).I

Larry C
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14 posted 2002-05-20 07:01 PM


What wonderful friendships I have found here...thank you.
Nan
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
15 posted 2002-05-20 08:15 PM


Take all you need, Larry - You certainly give us equally as much... Then - if you need more than that - Take that too - We're here for the duration...
ambermize
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 157
California
16 posted 2002-05-21 01:53 AM


I think I speak for everyone when I say.."thank you, for allowing us to be here for you" I have come to find passions like a family, and your loss I have felt deeply. Your poetry brought tears to my eyes, and if you need to talk I am always here to listen. I remember how it felt when I lost my father, so from the other perspective, I can say I know where you are coming from. Although no one can truly understand the pain of another, I know that god will bring you some relief. You are a good man, and I believe that he is watching over you, and is keeping your daughter safe now. All my love and blessings...
        Amber

catalinamoon
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since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
17 posted 2002-05-21 09:08 AM


Well, my friend, your sadness is not spreading doom and gloom. It is honest feeling, and we all share that here. Speaking fo myself,if any little thing or bit of support from a fellow poet can help, I am happy to be able to. And I know everyone else here is, also.
Keep writing and sharing Larry. You were lucky enough to miss most of my heartbroken rantings last year, but believe me, I didn't hold it back. And I always received caring and love (and a few lectures)
We love you, Larry. And to your wife, who  I don't know, pease tell her we love her too, through knowing you, and send her hugs as well.
Sandra

SmartChick
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since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
18 posted 2002-05-22 05:11 PM


Larry, I am so glad that your daughter didn't suffer. As for spreading gloom and doom, you have in no way done that. We are all here for you. That's what friends and family is for. We will be here for you as long as you need us.
Big hugs to you and your family.

NapalmsConstantlyConfused
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Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 529

19 posted 2002-05-23 11:38 AM


yeah, what they said.
gloom and doom? pshaw. (pshaw, i say.)
sharing the pain can sometimes make the load a bit lighter - and if that little bit can save a good person from breaking, we've done a good deed, indeed.
you happen to be a good person. (my opinion, but i think shared by most.)
losing a child is such a terrible thing that it cannot be expressed; and it's precisely at a time like this when your friends, if they are in fact friends, will step forward to help you carry a bit of the burden.
you're blessed: you've had a whole STACK of friends show up out of the woodwork to help in any way they can.
gloom and doom? hardly. rather you've given us all, by allowing us to share your pain and help, even if only a little, an opportunity to return the friendship that you offer so freely to everyone in the blue pages.
i won't offer truisms or cliches; i won't presume to guess how you must be feeling. what i will say is that i personally feel honored that you have allowed us to share this burden with you, and volunteer the fact that my load-bearing capacity is pretty high. lay it on, man, we're here for you.
-Dave

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
20 posted 2002-05-29 12:14 PM


I can't believe I didn't see this until now....
But please don't worry about the doom and gloom, Larry....Chipmunks seem to do that better than humans...especially on this website....and you know for sure how much doom and gloom this rodent has spread around.

Just write your heart out and then post it and there will be lots of love here to receive it...and the love will be sent back to you.  Thats why I love this place so much...and I bet its why you love it too!

So many wonderful, sensitive and caring friends.

I'll be looking for those poems, and don't be afraid to post them...also don't be afraid of the anger...if you suppress it, it will come out somehow, sometime in some other way and it might surprise you how it does...so, please don't be afraid of it...its a normal part of grieving....as though grieving for one's child could ever be normal.  If you need to talk, you have my phone number...please call.  I wrote the book on grieving.
~ sad and soft loving hugs from Madame C to her brother, Larry C

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
21 posted 2002-06-04 01:37 AM


Thanks to all of you. I have just got back online. I'm so glad you have been here.
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