Member Rara Avis
i can actually understand a lot of this.
i spent most of my life bouncing-bouncing-bouncing around from person to person. (usually girls ) and have come to realize that it wasn't necessarily a failure in my interpersonal skills, but rather in my expectations and actions. to use one of my bad analogies:
"Just because you see a beautiful painting doesn't mean you have to hang it on the wall."
like you, i've been with some amazing people, people i thought might be 'the one' - and then i start looking at other people and thinking about other people. uhmm - i don't think that's a bad thing. what is, is thinking that you need to act on that. appreciation can take many forms, and in my op is only bad if you act on it. if you appreciate someone, think of them occassionaly, etc., it's ok. if we were designed to be able to only appreciate one person in this world, dating and the whole 'love scene' would be nowhere as traumatically diffucalt as it almost always is.
no, i don't think it's a failing in your interpersonal skills, but in the above, and expectations.
now, this may be the pot calling the kettle black (fo, and you know who you are) but it's really unrealistic to expect the 'picture-perfect relationship. between the media and our own history, we are raised to believe that a Romeo and Juliet type of connection is the only 'true love' there is. Well, first, look where it got them. and second - for them (the fictional characters...) that may have been the perfect romance. who's to say that same time of connection is right for you, me, or anyone else other than them? you have different interests, different goals, upbringing, culture, etc. - what makes one expect that the romance would be the same? personally, i don't think the way people love is universal - everyone has their own way of approaching it (if they even do) and for them, that's the right way.
uhmm... i think i'm starting to ramble again, and i hope i've made some sense. perhaps i'll come back later and look at this again when i can be a bit more coherent.
oh well. hey - if all else fails, just shake your head really hard until your brains start to rattle, then tell yourself you were silly for doing that - at the least, you'll probably smile.