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Friend Problems |
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Raven Skye Member
since 2001-03-03
Posts 112.In a House. 
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Alright, this might be hard to follow but I'm going to explain it to the best that I can. If you have any advice I'd be more than grateful. So I'm friends with this girl Lisa and this boy Matt. They both mean a lot to me. I liked Matt when he was a freshman and I was a sophomore, but he had a girlfriend so nothing ever happened with that. I'm a junior now and this year I decided to try things out with Matt since him and his girlfriend didn't work out and plus I still had an interest in him. Things went fine until he started talking about his ex-girlfriend non-stop. So our relationship ended but our friendship stayed really strong. Lisa and I have been friends since I was a sophomore. She didn't know Matt at that time but this year she met him. I started bringing him to lunch more often and now he's a regular. Me, Lisa, Matt and Matt's best friend Andrew. All of us we the best of friends, I couldn't have asked for a better group of people to spend my time with. So after a while Andrew left the group for the girl he loves, leaving me, Lisa, and Matt to hang out. Matt was finally starting to get over his ex-girlfriend and was going to ask me out again, but I started going out with my ex-boyfriend Travis again, because Matt waited too long. Matt then was starting to take a liking to Lisa, and he knew how I felt about ex-boyfriends liking her. All my ex-boyfriends seem to fall for Lisa somehow and Matt was another one. Now you have to understand this to understand why Matt doesn't have a chance. Lisa has a boyfriend named Craig that she fell in love with. They broke up because too many people started rumors about them and it drove them to break up. Craig now claims that he still loves her, but doesn't want anyone to know about their relationship. I'm not even supposed to know but I do. So... yeah. So I told Matt he has no chance. I started to find out that he liked her when me and him were dating. It was starting to ruin my trust in him. After a few months, lunch time has become worse. We walk to the courthouse cafe to have lunch and Matt and Lisa flirt the whole time. I can't go with anyone else to lunch because no one else is in my lunch that I know. Also Matt and Lisa never invite me places with them anymore. They always want to hang out alone. So I told Lisa and Matt that I'm sick of their flirting, and that I feel like a third wheel around them and how I just feel left out with everything. In reponse, I find out that Lisa invites me when she makes the plans up, but Matt purposely leaves me out because of his own intentions. He believes that everyone has a chance at everything and so he believes he has a shot with Lisa, even though I've tried to talk Lisa into going out with other guys, she doesn't budge. No one has a chance with her. But the real problem here is what do I do? I want to have a friendship with both of them still but Matt puposely leaves me out. I've told him I don't appreciate it but he doesn't care. Any suggestions on maybe what i should do? Thanks for letting me vent and everything... I know this was long... *×´¨`·.×*Raven Skye*×´¨`·.×* |
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LCBS Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532Connecticut |
I've never had this problem before, but I find that friends love eachother so much already that its easy to take it to the next step. It sounds liek you guys are going through a rough time, but it also sounds liek Matt and Lisa dont keep bfs'gfs well, so there is always a chance Hope everythign works out ~LCBS Exeryone makes mistake, learn from them and move on, because tomorrow we'll make more... |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
wow no offense, but this sounds like a soap opera!!!  good luckChristopher |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
Wait.. are Craig and Lisa back together? (it sounded like they were) You said Craig still loves her and that their relationship was a secret. If they are together and it's a secret then why is she flirting with Matt and leading him on like this? But.. If Craig and Lisa aren't back together. He loves her still, but what are her feelings for him? Does she still care or love for him? Maybe hope to get back together with him. If she does.. then still she shouldn't be flirting with Matt. I know it is easy for friendships to turn into more than just friendships. But it sounds to me like this is one big problem. If Lisa and Craig are together, then talk to Lisa and see if she can either stop the flirting or to let Matt (who is a close friend in your wrods) know that she and Craig are back together secretly. And if they aren't together.. than the only thing to do is wait it out and if Matt and LIsa date, then youll just have to tough it out as well. Continue to talk to Lisa and Matt both about how you feel. Don't segregate yourself from them or let them do the same to you. Hang in there. Things always look up in the end. *hugs* ..tiff.. “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I respect the fact that these are your friends, but if Matt thinks he has a chance I'd let him try and go for it. Who knows, I mean if Lisa flirts with him back then who knows. There IS always a chance for a chance. Nothing is ever impossilble... Now, your own interest being in not wanting to be a third wheel, well I guess you'd have to talk to lisa about her side, and understand Matt's side of the whole thing. I mean, I personally know why he's leaving you out, and it's quite understandable. It's also understandable on why you dislike this, but there's a mesh of perspectives flying around and it's hard to decipher which is the correct one, or even if there is a correct one. I think you just need to know when to bud in, bud out, talk to lisa, talk to matt, talk to both. It IS a VERY hard situation and I really really hope and wish you the best of luck on this one. Too hard for me to give any real fact advice on this....i'm sorry. I tried though...  hehe, good luck though.  |
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sunbunbun Junior Member
since 2002-02-07
Posts 21Durham, NC |
I agree with DopeyDope. If you let them both know how you feel that's realy all you can do. Good luck! SBB |
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