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Guy problems...

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Chrissy
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since 01-24-2002
Posts 81
Idaho, no I am not a farmer!


0 posted 02-04-2002 04:48 AM       View Profile for Chrissy   Email Chrissy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Chrissy

I have a situation and I guess I have been waiting to Vent.  Here goes.  I dated a guy for a year and was engaged to him.  When it came time to meet his parents I fliped, and we broke up over it.  okay, that was a month ago...in that month 2 ex boyfriends, and 2 other guys have wanted to start a relationsihp.  I am one of the biggest flirts, and Just up for anything type of girl, that I have just had fun with this situation.  Now comes the hard part.  I talked to my ex fiance...I still feel that I am madly in love with him, and cant be away from him.  In the past month He moved to OR.  We have been talking on the phone, and tonight he asked me to wear my ring again.  The only person that I can talk about this to is but another guy...and is my cousins friend, so hes like 16, but has a little crush on me.  one small addition.  Im going on a blind date tomorrow night.  I dont even know the guys name.  What am I getting myself into? and how do I get myself out?  I mean, do i weae the ex's ring and try to work things out or do I go on this date tomorrow, and just continue to Have fun?  I mean.  I had the fairytale life planned out with hte wedding, to our house, and our children.  It was like the cute, all amwerican couple.  And now...RAR!  I dont know where to go next...someone please help!

Dance like noone is watching
Sing like noone is listening
Love like you'll never be hurt
Live like its Heaven on earth

HUGS AND KISSES TO ALL!!!

Bec
Member
since 02-23-2001
Posts 489
Sunshine Coast


1 posted 02-04-2002 07:57 AM       View Profile for Bec   Email Bec   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Bec

Chrissy... To be completely and bluntly honest with you, I don't think that your ex-fiance has any right to ask you to wear the ring again. If he asked you if you want to sort things out, reconcile and proposes to you again, then fine. But by the sounds of things, he didn't do that. Don't let yourself get hurt or confused any more than you already are, it's not worth it. Best of luck.

Bec

"Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. And all you can do is to go where they can find you."
-Winnie-the-Pooh

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 09-26-2000
Posts 3830
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs


2 posted 02-04-2002 10:10 AM       View Profile for xShUgArHiGhx   Email xShUgArHiGhx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit xShUgArHiGhx's Home Page   View IP for xShUgArHiGhx

I think you should do whatever makes you happy. If your in love with your ex still and wanna give it another go around then by all means go for it! I mean if you came THIS close to marrying the guy he must have some special quality that just cant be erased because u 2 ended it..he sounds like a great guy and you WERE marrying him for a reason..if you wanna go on the blind date and make that the deciding factor to wether or not you'd like to live a carefree life of fun and excitement and venture out on new experiences then by all means go for it but u never know where your gonna end up. Leave all possibilities open..dont limit yourself until your shur

BoOsH bOoSh nApoLE

jenni
Senior Member
since 09-11-99
Posts 511
Washington D.C.


3 posted 02-04-2002 12:32 PM       View Profile for jenni   Email jenni   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jenni

he may still want to marry you, but you clearly don't love him (or in any event aren't ready to marry him), so do the right thing and give him back the ring.  

absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to have fun, date other guys, etc., but it's not cool to leave the oregon guy on the hook like that.  sounds like it's time for both of you to move on.  
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


4 posted 02-04-2002 03:35 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Time out for Chrissy! This is tainted by my personal experience, but I have spent a lifetime trying to find my own worth via other people--especially men. It's just textbook psychology, and it does not work.
And I too am a notorious flirt, (I love the attention) but I also tend to have real anxiety over the thought that I may hurt someone. So there you have a recipe for disaster in personal relationships. It's just my own appraisal of self, mind you, but this eager-to-please attitude and hunger for applause is absolutely indicative of a lack of feeling of self worth. So...I guess my advice is to take some time out for YOU--get to know yourself and nurture aspects of yourself that you would like to see actualized. Dare to break some patterns! (and geez, I think I ended up talking more to myself than to YOU...grin)

Thanks, I think it was about time to give myself a pep talk!
JBaker515
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Senior Member
since 02-28-2001
Posts 1262
Dartmouth College


5 posted 02-13-2002 01:25 PM       View Profile for JBaker515   Email JBaker515   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JBaker515

You all can date me.   I might be young for some, but it's all good...

~~Jeff~~

RosePetal
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since 08-26-2001
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South Florida


6 posted 02-13-2002 02:57 PM       View Profile for RosePetal   Email RosePetal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RosePetal

All I can say is follow your heart.
If you truely love this guy then put the ring back on before he slips through your fingers.

and jbaker, just how old are you
Skyfire
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Member Ascendant
since 12-27-2000
Posts 5766
Riding


7 posted 02-13-2002 02:58 PM       View Profile for Skyfire   Email Skyfire   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfire

Oh Jeff... Sorry hun, I'm taken.

It only takes ten minutes to make pidgeons stuffed with apricots.

JBaker515
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Senior Member
since 02-28-2001
Posts 1262
Dartmouth College


8 posted 02-13-2002 05:08 PM       View Profile for JBaker515   Email JBaker515   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JBaker515

i'm 19

~~Jeff~~

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


9 posted 02-13-2002 08:49 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

dang - he's too young for me...

Chrissy - this caught my eye... my advice: don't marry ANYONE!!! if your relationship wasn't strong enough to last something as relatively simple as meeting his parents, then odds are it's not strong enough to handle the many, many other things that a marriage requires. Instead, talk to each other, and spend time together before making any large jumps or life committments. It may very well be that you two belong together, but I am a FIRM believer in people living together before getting married... kinda like taking a test drive on a new car... you don't want to buy it before you find out how comfortable it is, do you?

Just my op...

oh - jbaker can have all those under twenty, i'll take those over, k?

C
JBaker515
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 02-28-2001
Posts 1262
Dartmouth College


10 posted 02-14-2002 06:51 PM       View Profile for JBaker515   Email JBaker515   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JBaker515

Chris, good call buddy.

                                ~~Jeff~~

Moon Dust
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since 06-11-99
Posts 2250
Skelmersdale, UK


11 posted 02-14-2002 08:26 PM       View Profile for Moon Dust   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Moon Dust

alright chris but just how old r u?

Write what you feel, feel what you wrtie.

Moon Dust
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Member Elite
since 06-11-99
Posts 2250
Skelmersdale, UK


12 posted 02-14-2002 08:34 PM       View Profile for Moon Dust   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Moon Dust

oh yeah forgot to write my piece. I know what you mean about bein a flirt and with me it was just to find out what its like to date other men, so I quit my relationship and became single for a few years to have fun and just grow as a person. I not saying that u feel like that but mayb u need to think at the moment what u want and no-one else. If you love the guy go for it, but be prepared to work a little harder at the relationship and make sure hes prepared to do so too, if that is what you choose to do.

Write what you feel, feel what you wrtie.

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


13 posted 02-15-2002 02:42 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

what's the saying... 'old enough to know better, but still too young to care..."



C
RosePetal
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since 08-26-2001
Posts 3414
South Florida


14 posted 02-15-2002 09:14 PM       View Profile for RosePetal   Email RosePetal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RosePetal

its your lucky day jeff...i'm 19 too but..I'll be 20 before you
Dopey Dope
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since 08-30-2000
Posts 15536
San Juan, Puerto Rico


15 posted 02-25-2002 07:47 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

Marriage is VERY serious. If you consider going on dates with other people and so on, WHILE being in love with this other guy then I should say that you're not serious about it. If it's FUN, then you're not seriously wanting to be his wife.
If you truly wanted to be with him, you'd know exactly what to do. You'd drop everything and wear the ring again. But then again, if you guys broke up simply because of ONE happening, maybe it's just not meant to be. Good luck
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