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Passions in Poetry

Can't move on

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Apachecat906
Member
since 09-04-2001
Posts 235
Michigan, USA


0 posted 01-31-2002 10:19 AM       View Profile for Apachecat906   Email Apachecat906   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Apachecat906

Does anyone ever just want to die?  Have you ever hoped that you could just wake up in a different world, and then realize you'd probably be miserable there too?  And if you have, how the heck do you keep moving?  I've tried and tried and everything I do leads me back to this one relationship, and jeez you think I wouldn't be so sad cuz I'm the reason it's over, but I can't stop.  I dream about him with his new family.  I cry when any song comes on the radio.  I cry when I drive past a Ponderosa cuz we used to eat there.  I cry when I look at my baby and think about the one on the way cuz they wont grow up with their daddy.  I wish I could just shrivel up and blow away, and I want to move on but I am just hurting so much for my mistake.  And I can't even hate him for hurting me.  He didn't do anything wrong.  Anyway, how do I stop and just accept the way things are?  

Go ahead, push your luck; find out how much love the world can hold

doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


1 posted 01-31-2002 12:07 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

for the sake of your children and for your own stability, you must move on.

believe me, i totally understand how you're feeling. I'm struggling with the same issue myself.

For both of us, I suggest counseling. i'm lucky enough to have insurance through the company i work, so will look into what's covered.

if you have insurance, check to see if the insurance company has a plan for this and if not, check your local resources such as community services.

the fact that you recognize there is a problem is a big step and you've taken an even bigger step by reaching out here to ask advice because that shows that you know something must be done.

please don't hesitate. You will feel better once you start talking to a professional counselor well versed in giving advice for these kind of matters. While you're feeling this need to do something to make things better, do it! pick up the phone.... i gaurantee you'll feel like you're moving forward once you take that first step.

also, remember, well meaning friends and a support group are wonderful things to have, but cannot replace professionals who can help guide you toward healing with practical resources and advice.

one more thing.... i really think it's important that you stop blaming yourself. That only makes things more difficult. In life, and especially in relationships, it is never one person's "fault". Sure, take responsibility for your mistakes, but accept that you are not entirely responsible for the demise of the relationship. It takes 2.

i hope this helped even in some small way... i send you my prayers and support...
xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 09-26-2000
Posts 3830
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs


2 posted 02-04-2002 10:13 AM       View Profile for xShUgArHiGhx   Email xShUgArHiGhx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit xShUgArHiGhx's Home Page   View IP for xShUgArHiGhx

I've felt the way you did for years but then again im only 16 so i dont have kids to worry about or anything besides school and family so i had less riding on my waking up in  the morning..but i do know how it feels to wake up and not feel alive and to just wish that u'll be lucky enough to happen to die in your sleep that night or something morbid like that...but if you do have kids..theres more to it so i would seek out help and possible meds...they are life changers and from experience with them it does allow you to be happy again and waking up in t he morning isnt all that bad...

BoOsH bOoSh nApoLE

Apachecat906
Member
since 09-04-2001
Posts 235
Michigan, USA


3 posted 02-04-2002 04:45 PM       View Profile for Apachecat906   Email Apachecat906   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Apachecat906

Thanks for responding you guys.  It's an up and down battle and I'm finally resigned to the fact that crap happens and there is nothing you can do about it, and you just go on becuase you have no choice.  So thank you sincerely for your time and advice, I know you guys have stuff on your minds as well.  Maybe someday I will be in a position to help someone else in here too.  For now, I'm just gonna try to chill and forget things for a while.  

Love,
Carrie

Go ahead, push your luck; find out how much love the world can hold

 
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