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Passions in Poetry

Pray for the prey

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Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 10-10-2001
Posts 14644
South Carolina, USA


0 posted 01-27-2002 03:50 PM       View Profile for Magnus   Email Magnus   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Magnus

Ok...I don't want to clutter the main board with
this...But I would like to add just an ending
thought to the topic...

I know what it is like to be victimized...being
sexually abused as a child...I don't blame myself
for that...For I was only a child...

People who have been victimized don't realize one
important fact...They grow up differently than a
person who has never been victimized (emotionally,
sexually, physically,  mental deficits,  lack of
core things that are needed in their childhood
that will allow them to become adults that don't
always feel they have to search for something they
FEEL they don't have.

Victims often stick out like sore thumbs...The
neon sign on a dark street...Predators know
exactly what to look for...And sadly..too often
the victim has never realized that their sign is
on 24/7...flashing like crazy....Saying "I'm
over here!"  

Victims often learn hard not to try to trust...
And many continue to be victimized...And they
often have a difficult time in relationships
because the other person in the relationship is
sometimes someone that is a victimizer...

It happens everywhere....Not just here...it happens
everywhere....And I also don't believe the blame
lies solely on the victim...far from it...

There...I have rambled enough....And BTW... I don't
blame the person that abused me for my life...I
have forgiven them...I have also learned a lot
about feelings..about trust...about compassion..
and I know a lot about victims...  But,  you
know what...I used to be one...I don't consider
myself to still be that...That would only make me
never recover, never learn the right answers...

And one last comment....IF the predator were your brother,

sister, father, mother, a cousin,  a best friend..
Would you still feel that predators should all
be shot and killed...or dead???  Or would the
narrowminded attitude change perhaps...because
we are all his children...and who are we to judge.
Many abusers need help....Many are not what would
be considered a predator...The shame and guilt of
both the predator and prey keep both of them as
they are...victims and victimizers/predators...

[This message has been edited by Magnus (01-27-2002 03:59 PM).]

RosePetal
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since 08-26-2001
Posts 3414
South Florida


1 posted 01-27-2002 05:16 PM       View Profile for RosePetal   Email RosePetal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RosePetal

Magnus, you are so right. Victims usually feel that it is their fault and they brought it upon themselves, but it is not their fault. People who abuse others are not mentally stable.
It is so heartbreaking, but you Barry, have grown into a caring, loving man!
I think of you as a dear friend to me, I feel as if I have known you for a long time.
(Hugs) you know I am always an e mail away

Joanna
doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


2 posted 01-27-2002 08:04 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

thank you for this. i needed to hear it.

could you maybe offer some resources for help? where did you learn so much about this?

i was raped 2x during my teens & 20's...the first one was a gang rape... the second a date rape.....i can identify with everything you've said here

(note: to all you predators out there, this is not an invitation!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!! i crack myself up)

Magnus
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since 10-10-2001
Posts 14644
South Carolina, USA


3 posted 01-27-2002 08:30 PM       View Profile for Magnus   Email Magnus   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Magnus

Doreen...I learned this during four years of
therapy that took a great deal of inner
courage to be able to confront all of my
feelings...

Any competent Psychiatrist can certainly
help open the doors and possibly help you
find inner peace...I wish you well.

And just one thought....YOU HAVE TO WANT to
get through it...or you never will...And I
won't tell you it will be a cake walk...
But there is a pot of gold at the end of
this rainbow...believe me...I found mine.
doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


4 posted 01-27-2002 09:12 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

thank you Magnus
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 04-06-2000
Posts 10553


5 posted 01-27-2002 11:13 PM       View Profile for Irish Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irish Rose


thank you Barry



Kathleen--(Kay)
A true friend does not love you for who you are, but in spite of who you are." -- Caroline Tran

[This message has been edited by Irish Rose (01-29-2002 07:14 AM).]

serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


6 posted 01-28-2002 03:08 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

"not my fault..."

It took a long time for me to understand that. Thanks Mag.
Startime
Member Ascendant
since 10-03-2000
Posts 6143
Canada


7 posted 01-28-2002 06:47 PM       View Profile for Startime   Email Startime   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Startime's Home Page   View IP for Startime

Barry...I am so glad you posted this....You have a deep understanding and compassion for people whose lives have been affected by predators...It is true both the predator and the prey need to seek help....I was the prey and it set up a series of events in my life that only recently, with professional help, was I able to recognise and deal with it. I learned that not only was I a victim but the one who preyed on me as a young child was also a victim of his past...a cycle was set up long before I was born...in learning that, I was able to love and forgive the one who started me on my own cycle....

You are right, victims send out very strong signals...I for one want to give love very much....I also want to be loved in a normal relationship...not like the ones I have come from....

To make things clearer...I was sexually abused by my father when I was 5 years old and it continued for several years...all of which I blanked out....

Victims...need to be treated as victims...and not blamed when they trustingly are used by another predator...I do not care the age of victim or predator....the victim cannot see as clearly as others when red lights appear...

Thank you, so much, Barry...this has helped me more than I can say....****big big hugs**** to all those who have had any kind of experience that has left scars on the heart, soul and mind. I love you all here, dearly.

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

[This message has been edited by Startime (01-28-2002 07:05 PM).]

Moon Dust
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since 06-11-99
Posts 2250
Skelmersdale, UK


8 posted 01-30-2002 11:03 PM       View Profile for Moon Dust   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Moon Dust

I would like to thank u for the message I cant tell u how but thank u for sharing ur wisdom.

Write what you feel, feel what you wrtie.

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 06-15-99
Posts 7276
Mobile, AL


9 posted 01-31-2002 04:34 PM       View Profile for Temptress   Email Temptress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Temptress

"There...I have rambled enough....And BTW... I don't
blame the person that abused me for my life...I
have forgiven them...I have also learned a lot
about feelings..about trust...about compassion..
and I know a lot about victims...  But,  you
know what...I used to be one...I don't consider
myself to still be that...That would only make me
never recover, never learn the right answers..."

I will not say how closely I identify with your post, Magnus, but I will say that I can identify with it. I believe what I have picked out here, says it all for me. Thank you for sending this message out. It takes some a very long time to get to the place in their lives that go with the thoughts that stood out to me here. I came to that place at a younger age than most ever will be able to, and I know I am blessed because of being able to get there. I feel also blessed to have gotten there without the aid of counseling.
Not that I disagree with counseling or find anything wrong with it...just that I didn't need it.

For all who watch.Dare you say hello? Come in and ask the questions that are on your mind, but spare me your judgement until you truly sipped of me.

 
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