South Carolina, USA
Ok...I don't want to clutter the main board with
this...But I would like to add just an ending
thought to the topic...
I know what it is like to be victimized...being
sexually abused as a child...I don't blame myself
for that...For I was only a child...
People who have been victimized don't realize one
important fact...They grow up differently than a
person who has never been victimized (emotionally,
sexually, physically, mental deficits, lack of
core things that are needed in their childhood
that will allow them to become adults that don't
always feel they have to search for something they
FEEL they don't have.
Victims often stick out like sore thumbs...The
neon sign on a dark street...Predators know
exactly what to look for...And sadly..too often
the victim has never realized that their sign is
on 24/7...flashing like crazy....Saying "I'm
Victims often learn hard not to try to trust...
And many continue to be victimized...And they
often have a difficult time in relationships
because the other person in the relationship is
sometimes someone that is a victimizer...
It happens everywhere....Not just here...it happens
everywhere....And I also don't believe the blame
lies solely on the victim...far from it...
There...I have rambled enough....And BTW... I don't
blame the person that abused me for my life...I
have forgiven them...I have also learned a lot
about feelings..about trust...about compassion..
and I know a lot about victims... But, you
know what...I used to be one...I don't consider
myself to still be that...That would only make me
never recover, never learn the right answers...
And one last comment....IF the predator were your brother,
sister, father, mother, a cousin, a best friend..
Would you still feel that predators should all
be shot and killed...or dead??? Or would the
narrowminded attitude change perhaps...because
we are all his children...and who are we to judge.
Many abusers need help....Many are not what would
be considered a predator...The shame and guilt of
both the predator and prey keep both of them as
they are...victims and victimizers/predators...
[This message has been edited by Magnus (01-27-2002 03:59 PM).]