»
Discussion
»
Feelings
»
This is a tricky one...
| Feelings |
|
This is a tricky one... |
|
|
crazy4u Member
since 2001-10-28
Posts 67 |
What to do when you love someone but they love someone else?... I've heard advise from my friends but i just think they are being bias to the situation. Do you let them know how you feel and risk it all or do u keep your mouth shut and just silently walk away?... because I don't care how much people love to say "Oh don't say anything because you'll ruin the friendship" In my opinion the friendship was ruined the moment I started having feelings other than friendship for him. If I speak my truth I'll probably just have to hug him goodbye... but if i shut i'll just have to disapear leaving me with this bitter feeling... what to do, what to do? Im really losing sleep over this can anyone bring new light into this situation?? |
||
| © Copyright 2001 crazy4u - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Nothing. sigh...trust me on this one... I didn't mean to be insensitive. But the truth is, if they are in love with someone else, and TELLING YOU that they are in love with someone else? There is not too much you can do. You could tell him. But methinks it won't save you any tears in the long run. HUGS. I know it's painful...  |
||
|
crazy4u Member
since 2001-10-28
Posts 67 |
Excruciatingly painful! I know he is not going to return my love and I know Im not going to suffer any less...but Im still not sure if I want to keep quiet. whats wrong with me? Im such a hard head wrench! Thank you for the hug |
||
|
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Oh sweetheart, I can relate to this so well. I don't know if the friendship is "ruined" but it may be hard to keep it just friendship if your feelings are this strong. It may come down to are you able to have this person in your life as "just a friend." It would be very painful for me, personally, watching someone love someone else! I would probably bow out and I know that sounds easy, it's not. My heart goes out to you. I do know that writing helps, not entirely, but it does help Came back to say in my opinion? If this person is special in your life, don't say anything. A good friend is also hard to find, as well as a lover.. Kathleen (Kay) "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey." Laurie Lee [This message has been edited by Irish Rose (edited 12-05-2001).] |
||
|
Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
It depends on what you'll expect from him. Do you have secrete hopes he'll turn to you when you tell him you're in love with him? Don't count on it. If he is a true friend then I think you should respect his feelings for that other person, how hard it will be on you. You're not his choice, she is. Sounds a bit selfish to me if you tell him, but then....isn't love always blind. Sorry if I sound a bit hard, but then, what right do you have to try to break up a relationship of wich you aren't part. Titia A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... |
||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Not tricky, but definitely painful no matter what you do. Love him silently. Staying close, as friends, may not be possible. Sometimes it is best to walk away and lick your wounds privately. Be a true friend, don't step into the middle of another relationship if he has already told you he has chosen the other lady. You will hurt either way, in silence or in the sounds of admitting your love. But if he tells you he is not seriously in love, and faltering, and tells you so? Just be there and let him know you care. This may not console your heart, but you asked, I replied. I would not say anything beyond "I am glad you are happy, for your happiness is important to me." |
||
|
crazy4u Member
since 2001-10-28
Posts 67 |
Thank you all for your very honest opinions I truly appreciate them. It seems as more time passes I find new perspective to this. And I couldn't agree more a good friend is very hard to find and he has been nothing but. Im sure my heart will heal and then I can atleast say that I have a friend. Never as close as before but definately a friend. Again I thank you for your response.  |
||
|
Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
If you want to tell him then figure out why if your doing it just beacuse you want him and expect him to feel the same way, its not such a good idea. But if yuo just want to be honest with him then that should be up to you. But I have been there before, but you know I also been happy for that person because they were happy with someone else. I breathe the dust, the dust is me. |
||
|
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Hi, I just thought I would add my two cents, even though there has been lots of good advice. I think a lot depends on if he is really in love with someone else. Sometimes people are dating, or have been together for awhile, but are not that close anymore. Maybe he thinks of you as more than a friend, in that case, but you may never know, unless you tell him. That is my romantic side speaking. On the other side,though, he probably will disappoint you if he is involved with someone else and why hurt yourself for nothing, by giving him a reason to reject your love? I have done this to myself far too often, and it hurts more than saying nothing. Right now I am struggling not to write to someone that I know, because he has told me..does not want me anymore. Yet we were friends for 10 years, amongst the times we were more. And it kills me to let go of the friendship, but I can't just be his friend, and we both know it. Don't ask me why I think that will help you, I have just confused myself, too. Sorry. Anyway, good luck. This is something that is very hurtful, no matter how you look at it. Take care. Sandra |
||
|
crazy4u Member
since 2001-10-28
Posts 67 |
I would never tell him just because i want him i would tell him to just get it off my chest. It's just keeping it all in makes me feel as if im drowning sometimes. I say this because i talk to him all the time and i see him aswell and when i look at him i feel like he can see right through me and see the truth. So im holding my breath with him. I just have to make some kind of decision soon before i drive myself insane. I dont think i could see him anymore without telling him. Once he knows then he can decide what to do with me. ... and Sandra dear you didnt confuse me they are wonderful words of expiriance and I sympathize with u honey. Thanx for your 2 cents xoxo |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
