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Passions in Poetry

A dilemna of fatal attraction

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serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
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0 posted 10-29-2001 03:33 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Just suppose you have a friend---someone you have known a LONG time--and you suspect, no, you KNOW they have become dangerously deranged---as proven by stints of violent behavior resulting in a prison sentence. Now follow me here, while in prison, this person apparently developed an obsession for you, and upon release, phones you, convinced of your destiny to be played out together. You rebuff this person as gently as possible, but firmly saying "No. There is no chance for a future for us."

Here is where it gets frightening. This angers the former friend, whereupon threats are voiced---in the manner of "You are forcing me to force you to become convinced." The word rape is used, as well as the terms "begging for mercy."

Now of course, the first thoughts would be police, but first of all, there is no proof. Second, a threat is not enough to send this person away forever. There is always the underlying thought of what this person might do if infuriated. There is no family left of this person to appeal to them to have him committed. In the meantime, you live in fear of your own safety, the safety of your family, as well as society in general.

So....what do you do? What are the options?
Professor Gloom
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since 07-23-2000
Posts 3074
of Depression


1 posted 10-29-2001 06:04 AM       View Profile for Professor Gloom   Email Professor Gloom   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Professor Gloom's Home Page   View IP for Professor Gloom

The options are few,
Get a restraining order, at least to officially showing
the situation exist.

Otherwise
The options are two
Stand and fight or Run and hide.

Gloom
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
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2 posted 10-29-2001 06:15 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

sigh...restraining orders always seem to me to be a minor detail in the paragraph describing someone's murder. But Run and HIDE. no...I've done enough of that my entire life. What frightens me, is that I know, if this man enters my home, I will defend myself and my own to the full extent of my capabilities. And there is still something in my heart for the person who "used to be"---and I wish there was a way I could get him help, although realistically I know that help cannot come directly from ME. I've a very stupid heart and piss poor judgement. sigh.
The Lady of Shallot
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since 10-03-2001
Posts 840
USA


3 posted 10-29-2001 08:39 AM       View Profile for The Lady of Shallot   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit The Lady of Shallot's Home Page   View IP for The Lady of Shallot

Oh dear lady, I hate reading this, fear is a terrible thing...no, don't hide, hiding gives them control, more control over you.
Don't chide yourself for piss poor   judgement, hell, we've all had that believe me. IT's not your fault you only saw the good in someone.

I would say this. You are dealing with someone who is not right in the head.

Do whatever you have to do to defend yourself by any means, sometimes no response will bore them, they go away, if not,
don't be afraid to tell someone close to you!

please be safe....

-befriend yourself and you will never be alone-

RSWells
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since 06-17-2001
Posts 2607


4 posted 10-29-2001 08:54 AM       View Profile for RSWells   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RSWells

This one needs to hear the growl of a bigger dog whose fangs when bared leave no doubt. The element of surprise adds weight to an unexpected visit and leaves the lasting impression of the stalkers vulnerability. A parolee can't afford complaints, have him meet you in a tavern and in your place send his parole officer (a bit late to assure the odor of alcoholic beverage). Can't pull the plug on this scheme? Convince him you have AIDS. Good luck

[This message has been edited by RSWells (edited 10-29-2001).]

serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
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5 posted 10-29-2001 02:42 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

RS....didn't think of AIDS! I told him though, that I had gotten my "monthly" and a bout of diahrea! (ew, but giggle?) And after some discussion, we have decided not to change the number, but WAIT to see if he continues to call. Then there will phone harassment. Also, we have been fairly active in the community, thus we have ways of speaking with the police, without speaking to the police officially. sigh...and the "rap" sheet on this guy? Well, let's just say if we rolled it out, it would lead a path from the front door to the bathroom, (how appropriate, as it is sickening) but after much discussion this morning, we have decided thus far, to remain silent and let this guy run his natural course. I am supposed to be a bit "safer" now, which kind of ticks me off as I am accustomed to spending time alone in the park and also like to talk long walks at dusk...so no more of that for awhile. But this still leaves me with a troubling question--just in the spirit of being a good person, when do you stop offering emotional support to a "troubled friend"? AND do we have a moral responsibility to get help for those who are obviously going off the deep end?

Just for the record, rape has been more than issue in my life, and this entire incident has sparked the nightmares and the migraines all over again. Is there a profile for a victim? Or am I, as I have often said myself, simply a "magnet for lunatics?"

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Dopey Dope
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since 08-30-2000
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San Juan, Puerto Rico


6 posted 10-30-2001 04:04 AM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

Please do be careful. I suggest consulting an local law enforcer about this.
Kit McCallum
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since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


7 posted 10-30-2001 06:30 AM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

He sounds dangerous Serenity ... I would be careful about interaction even on future phonecalls.  Even "negative" attention (arguing or telling them not to call you) is still "attention" to someone who is harassing.  If they continue to engage you in dialogue (good or bad) ... they can often take that as positive reinforcement for their deranged viewpoints. Even offers to "help" can easily be twisted in their mind into being viewed as affection.

If you are feeling threatened, I would seriously consider contacting local law enforcement and make the verbal threat known. Please be careful...
Nan
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since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


8 posted 10-30-2001 07:05 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Paying attention - in any form - is feeding this guy's ego - You have yourself and your family to protect.  I rather like the "probation officer's visit at a tavern" approach - the proverbial bigger dog.. Not a bad plan...  You can't help him, serenity - It's more than one layperson-potential victim can possibly do - you need backup.  Don't try to take it on yourself.  Keep it together, be strong, and God Bless..
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


9 posted 10-30-2001 03:29 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

I'd like to thank everybody, and this situation is being kindly taken care of for me, in a manner that involves my minimal involvement. (Legally, too   ) Thank you all.
 
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