My heart is with you. I will share you with you then, this story. My father recently passed away from Cancer. The day I found out his diagnosis, I was of course, distraught, hell, I was out of my mind. Then, that night, I got word that my friend, had hanged herself. I cannot begin to tell you the rage I felt, watching one dearly, dearly loved person fight for life as another that I loved seemingly thoughtlessly cast that gift away.
I do not have answers for you. But I must tell you, that everyday I can emphasize with both. On the one hand? There is something appealing about a struggle being over. But then again, there is something else in me that kicks and rages to live. So I try not to judge, as I don't know what "demons" tormented her--she seemingly had a life of ease, and I also don't know why my father, who had such an arduous trek through life, wanted so badly to live another day, even though in horrible pain.
Sigh...wish I could be of more help. But I am glad that you understand the effects of suicide on friends, family and even future generations--assuming one would leave children of course.
There is one thing I would like to say though, in our society, we tend to "pooh-pooh" some sadness and say, "oh, it's just sensationalism, a bid for sympathy." Well, a cry for help? Is a CRY FOR HELP. And if you hear that cry, offer your hand. Sometimes the smallest gestures can renew hope in a wearied person. And we may never receive the recognition for one act of kindness--but I can personally attest that "random acts of kindnesss" can mean the difference between a spark of hope and suffocating futility--life and death.
Love to you. And just do the best that you can do. That's what it's all about for me anyway. Achieving my "personal best."