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Leaving Home

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Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 06-17-2000
Posts 5525
missouri


0 posted 08-01-2001 12:31 AM       View Profile for Paula Finn   Email Paula Finn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Paula Finn

My son left home....I am seriously depressed...why does it hurt so bad even tho I know its right and natural? Kids leave...they have to to learn and grow...why dont they teach this in parenting 101?
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 04-06-2000
Posts 10553


1 posted 08-01-2001 01:01 AM       View Profile for Irish Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irish Rose

My two oldest kids are gone and my youngest one will probably leave after graduation next year.  I haven't dealt very well with it and sometimes (like now) have trouble sleeping because the house is so quiet. There are no bedtime stories to tell, no kisses or sharing or laughter. Yes, I know how you feel, hon, I know.

One reason I write and read poetry is it relaxes me and gives me so much peace.

Anytime you want to talk just give me a shout, I understand these feelings more than you could ever know!

" I walked beside the evening sea And dreamed a dream that could not be" George William Curtis"

Kathleen

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


2 posted 08-01-2001 09:23 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Parenting 101

When I was going through this, my dear aunt/mentor told me that it is indeed the natural progression in life - and that you might try to look at it as a great success in your life.  You've spent all those years teaching him how to be an independent adult.  He's doing just what you've been striving for... between the tears, of course..
Lady In White
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Member Elite
since 02-12-2001
Posts 2919
USA


3 posted 08-01-2001 12:01 PM       View Profile for Lady In White   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lady In White


They come home...with laundry.  You'll be fine, Paula!  Parenting 101 is NOT taught because if we learned first hand how hard it would be? There wouldn't be kidlets.

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


4 posted 08-01-2001 12:13 PM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

To which I would add Lady in White... God made kids cute so you don't kill them... lol...

Paula -- what Nan said... yep

They never were ours -- we just had the honor of having them as house guests
inot2B
Member Elite
since 09-18-2000
Posts 2272
Alabama


5 posted 08-01-2001 04:06 PM       View Profile for inot2B   Email inot2B   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for inot2B

Paula I have had three sons grow up and leave home. They are only a phone call away, and believe me when something goes wrong in their life they DO call. The only good thing about them growing up is that now they bring over my sweet grandchildren to visit.
Once a mother always a mother.
No matter how old they get, are how far away they are, I still worry about them as if they were still my little boys.
Titia Geertman
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since 05-07-2001
Posts 5297
Netherlands


6 posted 08-01-2001 07:54 PM       View Profile for Titia Geertman   Email Titia Geertman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Titia Geertman's Home Page   View IP for Titia Geertman

There's a good side too you know, you'll have more time to spent on the things you never had time for before.

My two girls left about ten years ago, together, the youngest being only 16 years.
That one we see only two times a year, in summer and at X-mas for she's a softballplayer, captain of the National Dutch team, so all her weekends are filled.
It doesn't matter to me as long as I know she's allright and there's always the phone.

I'm with Nan, they've grown to adults, and letting them go free doing their own things has brought us closer in a way.

My eldest daughters mother in law is really demanding them to come over and sit all afternoon or evening, result: they don't like to go there so often. As for us, well there has been weekends I just saw her a half hour at coming and leaving, in between she was visiting friends, going out etc. I never thought much of it, but the result: they love to come over, 'because she feels free' she said. And I think that's a very important feeling.

Mind you, I'm not saying your feelings are wrong or something, for you have the right to feel what you feel, no question about that, I do understand your sadness. I just wanted you to know how I coped with kids leaving home.

My experience is that when you're able to let them feel truly free in coming and going, they'll come home because they want to, not because they feel they need to and you just wait, they'll bring all their friends with them too  

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace/

[This message has been edited by Titia Geertman (edited 08-01-2001).]

Dopey Dope
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Member Laureate
since 08-30-2000
Posts 15536
San Juan, Puerto Rico


7 posted 08-02-2001 04:44 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

I'm leaving for University in 11 days......my mom feels the same pain Paula...anything I might be able to tell her?
catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 06-03-2000
Posts 9897
The Shores of Alone


8 posted 08-02-2001 07:01 PM       View Profile for catalinamoon   Email catalinamoon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit catalinamoon's Home Page   View IP for catalinamoon

You know what, my daughter is gone but she won't GO if you know what I mean, she has her own children and still wants me to handle her life. LOL
Sometimes leaving home can be a good thing, for the parent, too. I do know what you mean though. When she left California before me, I had a harder time than I thought I would. And now we are both stuck in New Hampshire. LOL
Balladeer
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Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


9 posted 08-02-2001 08:04 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

If it gets to be too rough for you, Paula, I'm available for adoption  
Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 03-14-2001
Posts 4302
Lynchburg, Virginia


10 posted 08-03-2001 09:24 PM       View Profile for Fading Away   Email Fading Away   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Fading Away

Oh wow.. I'm so sorry, Paula.  My sister left home, and my parents were depressed for weeks.  I hope you feel better.. Take care.

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 06-17-2000
Posts 5525
missouri


11 posted 08-04-2001 12:42 AM       View Profile for Paula Finn   Email Paula Finn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Paula Finn

Its just hard watching him go out on his own...I wonder if I've done all I can to prepare him...I sit in his room...touch his things...sigh

And Balladeer? Just gimme those papers LOL I will sign them
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


12 posted 08-04-2001 02:19 PM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

Deer...

I thought Ron and Nan had already taken you to raise...
inot2B
Member Elite
since 09-18-2000
Posts 2272
Alabama


13 posted 08-04-2001 09:45 PM       View Profile for inot2B   Email inot2B   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for inot2B

Paula, at least Deer should be cheap to feed. I think Spam is one of those really cheap foods.
 
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