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Starting from square one...possible?

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Alwye
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In the space between moments


0 posted 07-09-2001 09:33 PM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alwye

I'd like to know if you guys think that when a relationship get's rough and it looks like things won't work, do you think that it's possible to build it from the bottom back up?  My boyfriend and I have decided to try something like that....work on being friends first, then go farther if that goes well.  Any suggestions for me?  Ideas?  Is this good, bad, what?  I really really need advice, so anything you could add would be helpful.  

              ~A crumbling, but hopeful Alwye~    

*Krista Knutson*

"Touched the mirror, broke the surface of the water,
Saw my true self, all illusions shattered..." ~Tracy Chapman

anonymousfemale
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Limbo


1 posted 07-09-2001 10:04 PM       View Profile for anonymousfemale   Email anonymousfemale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymousfemale

Krista, relationships are doomed to be tough so if you think that yours is going to get a little rocky, by all means build it back up from being friends. You never know, that may have been the missing thing in the relationship after all. From personal experience, it works like a charm. You usually become better friends than you originally thought you could be.
So try it out and see how it goes. After all, if you didn't try it out in the first place, it'll be the one thing you'll forever wonder if you should have tried.
Good luck and many *hugs*  

~AF~

Never speak disrespectfully of Society. Only people who can't get into it do that.
~ Oscar Wilde ~

Blaec
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since 04-23-2001
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The Sunshine State


2 posted 07-09-2001 10:30 PM       View Profile for Blaec   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Blaec

I think it's worth trying if you really love eachother.  You need friendship in any relationship.  I hope that it works for you.  It's probably not going to be easy, but then what good things do we find easily?

Kris
Decaflame
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3 posted 07-10-2001 04:30 PM       View Profile for Decaflame   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Decaflame


Taking a step backwards in order to some day take two forwards sounds like a logical, and adult, way to build a steady foundation.

At the very least, you will have built a good friendship....
Dopey Dope
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4 posted 07-10-2001 05:13 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

To rebuild a strong relationship you have done the best possible thing and gone back to the basics, friends. To fully build a good BASE for your possible future relationship with him again you must get rid of all grudged.....be as blunt, and honest as you both can be...even if it deeply hurts that person. I feel that you must kindly say everything that affected the past relationship.
You need to sit down and talk for hours about WHAT HAPPENED...but be very mature and do not argue. Wait for the person to finish and then say your side. In the end, if you are mature the whole thing should be worked out.

Continue to be friends....joke around....go out with your friends and each other. The point is to see how that other person interacts with other people while being apart from you......sometimes you can fall back in love with that person like that. Just gazing from them afar while they talk to your mutual friends.
Later on as your friendship gets more...well affectionate....take more steps....
Just take it slow, and calmly....
Good luck!

catalinamoon
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The Shores of Alone


5 posted 07-10-2001 07:24 PM       View Profile for catalinamoon   Email catalinamoon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit catalinamoon's Home Page   View IP for catalinamoon

Sounds like a good idea to me. However, coming from the queen of screwed up relationships, I don't know if my opinion is too helpful. Good luck.
Saxoness
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6 posted 07-10-2001 09:37 PM       View Profile for Saxoness   Email Saxoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Saxoness

hey girl...we don't know each other well...but we're in the same boat!  ICQ me sometime, we should talk. I was wondering the same thing myself!

"Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."
                                

JLR
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7 posted 07-10-2001 11:04 PM       View Profile for JLR   Email JLR   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JLR

Possible?  Yes.  Probable...will take a lot of work.  Have been there more than once.  All I can honestly say is that if it is worth trying for, give it everything you have.  Hope everything works out for you.
Heavens Tears
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8 posted 07-13-2001 03:26 PM       View Profile for Heavens Tears   Email Heavens Tears   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Heavens Tears

I dont think it is really possible to go back to the way you were, but if it is possible to find a new square one, then yes.  I hope everything works out OK.  

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

Paula Finn
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9 posted 07-14-2001 02:30 AM       View Profile for Paula Finn   Email Paula Finn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Paula Finn

I dont think you can go back....you can only go forward on different terms...if you both want it to work the yes do WHATEVER it takes...good luck
Fading Away
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10 posted 07-17-2001 10:45 PM       View Profile for Fading Away   Email Fading Away   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Fading Away

I am writing this right after reading your post, and not reading any of the replies, as to not be influenced with anyone's opinion.  So if I repeat anything that's been said already, I apologize.

That is a very good idea, Krista, to build up the relationship from the bottom, up.  It is very possible to build up that relationship over again.  However, it will take lots of hard work from the both of you.  It might be very hard to go from being "together" to being friends, and then back to being "together" again.  It will be very awkward.  I hope it's not doomed for a disappointment.

Also, I hope you're not getting your hopes up, saying this will definitely work.  You're putting yourself at the risk of being hurt.  If it doesn't work, you might just have to accept that relationships don't always work out, and you might just have to move on.

Best of luck with the situation, I hope things work out in your favor.  

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning...

Allysa
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In an upside-down garden


11 posted 08-01-2001 01:32 PM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allysa

Good luck, and if it works, tell me.

My ex and I did sort of a reverse.  We met, we went out, we broke up, we became friends.  I want him back.  

Someone once taught me that it doesn't matter what other people think of you as long as you like yourself.  That's what I live by.

 
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