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Single mothers are heroes. What do you think?
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Single mothers are heroes. What do you think? |
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Auguste 
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea 
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We look up to people like Michael Jordan and call them heroes. What nonsense! Single mothers trying to raise their children all alone, going to work each day with only the one salary to feed and clothe these little ones are the unsung heroes in our society. They're working their butts off, a lot of the time without child support, to raise the next generation as best they can. Single mothers, I APPLAUD you loudly! You have my deepest respect. Michael Auguste Michael Auguste~ |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
They do indeed have a hard time of it...just as single fathers. Parenting doesn't come easy, even for couples! |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Single parenting in general is a very tough situation. They work very hard to keep the little ones happy... and sometimes go to drastict lengths to make that happen... like working more than one job, or maybe even more than two. This is a very sweet recognition... and one that's deserved. --Marie You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I disagree Michael Jordan ---->Hero Single Moms ------->Martyrs hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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Raven Skye Member
since 2001-03-03
Posts 112.In a House. |
My mom's a hero. She gives me a hard time but she's the only one who raised me. Even though my father lives with me and everything he was never part of anyone's lives. Including her! SO i agree. *×´¨`·.×*Raven Skye*×´¨`·.×* |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Lady In White, No, parenting doesn't come easy for anyone. It's quite a job, but SO rewarding. Marie, I have four sisters, two of which are single parents. Not to mention the many friends I have that are also single moms. Yes, I've seen some of them work two jobs and more. Christmas is always a time of the year that worries them most, wondering if they'll be able to give gifts to their little ones. It's very sad. I really do consider them heroes. acire, We are all entitled to our opinions, as you are and I appreciate you sharing it. Raven Skye, I would have to agree with you about your mom. Sadly, there really can be the equivalent of a single mom in a home where both parents reside. I wish you well. Michael Michael Auguste~ |
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zzz Member
since 2001-06-06
Posts 55 |
acire please explain why sps are martyrs there are many types those by choice and those through circumstance i am interested on how you came to this conclusion |
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esclandre Member
since 2001-06-11
Posts 62Northern California |
i think anyone who makes their way through life without succumbing to despair are heroes... be it michael jordan, single parents, any parents, people with no children, the guy at the AM PM who sells you your soda... this world is hard enough to make it in... anyone who does without climbing a bell tower with an AK is a hero to me. acire - perhaps there are some people who could fall under that category, but I think to lump them all into a single category is a tad foolish. ANYONE can be a martyr, and i've seen many people act the part. i've also seen many single parents accept their lot in life and struggle thier best for the future of their children without looking for handout or sympathy. i find it doubtful that many, given the choice, would want to be a single parent... as said above, it has to be hard enough with two, much less alone. personally, i feel martyrdom to be something one brings on themselves in order to recieve the attention/adulation brought on by their (usually) self-made situations. Esclandre |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Michael I agree with you in most cases. My daughter is a semi-single Mom of 3 little ones, and it is the hardest job I have ever seen. She tries so hard to pull things together, and it is so near impossible in this world. I had her alone as well, but one doesn't come close to how much it takes to raise three! Sadly I have seen some really terrible Moms in this category also, but life is hard, and I try not to be too judgemental. I so hate to hear people scream hateful things at their little ones though. But thanks for the acknowledgment, all the single Moms of the world appreciate it! Sandra |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Esclandre, "i think anyone who makes their way through life without succumbing to despair are heroes" I respectfully disagree. I know of a homeless man that lived for two years in a hut in the woods. He never asked anyone for a thing. We worked a job washing pots and pans for $3.25 an hour and part time at that. He would befriend anyone he came into contact with and more than once I saw him fix a person's car and refuse the offer of payment. For a long time he fed a single mother and her children until she could get back on her feet. That is a hero! "personally, i feel martyrdom to be something one brings on themselves in order to recieve the attention/adulation brought on by their (usually) self-made situations" In most cases, I would have to agree with this. Thanks for the response. Michael Sandra, "My daughter is a semi-single Mom of 3 little ones, and it is the hardest job I have ever seen. She tries so hard to pull things together, and it is so near impossible in this world." I know what you mean. I have a friend that is 26 and is the mother of three also. Without the help of her parents there is no way that could make it. Her ex has only given her $20.00 in the past year and because she is so financially strapped, she's actually considering going back with him. Amazing! (and sad) "I so hate to hear people scream hateful things at their little ones though." Yes, I do also. My tone of voice is enough to ensure that my son behaves. Recently I was in Savannah visiting with my niece. Her son kept disobeying. He's three. She'd tell him to stop doing something and two minutes later he'd be doing the same thing again. He looked over at me and said "Michael?" He looked at her son and said, "Mason, stop." That's all it took for him to obey. There is something about the sound of a man's voice that children tend to respect. Thanks, Sandra Michael Auguste~ |
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Blaec Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 130The Sunshine State |
I also think that single moms are heros. I've been down that road and I know how hard it is. My mother was single and raising me and my brother. I watched her work 3 jobs. She ate peanutbutter sandwiches for every meal for almost a year. But she always made sure that I was taken good care of. She is the most wonderful mother in the world. Acire- How can you say such a horrible thing about single mothers? They're taking care of their responsibilities. They didn't give their children away or leave them for dead in a dumpster. What about my mom? Is she a martyr too? Is she a bad person for leaving a drunk who abused her? Would she have been a better mother if she had stayed in that relationship and let me and my brother have to suffer that abuse too? |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Blaec, Your mother is a good example of what it is that I say single mothers are heroes. She sacrificed to make sure her two children were cared, while at the same time working three jobs. If that's not a hero, then I don't know what it. As for acire, please keep in mind that although you don't agree with what it is she had to say, she does have the right just like everyone else, to voice her opinion. Take care and thank you for such a wonderful reponse. Bless your dear mother, Michael Michael Auguste~ |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I think you are misunderstand what Acire was saying about Single mothers being martyrs... I think he was just trying to point out that they are GREATER than hero's.....that they go through all that stuff that life throws at them and still work hard for their children and would die for them. That they put themselves second in order to let their children live a better life. I think THAT is what he was trying to say. Anyway let me just say that *I* think that single mothers are hero's.....but only the ones who go about being MOTHERs.....cuz I know a bunch of "mothers" who are single and don't act jack like a mother to their child....there's always double sides to this......so yea....GOOD MOTHERS who are single can be considered hero's in my book  |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Michael - about that man you mentioned above... sounds to me like he definitely didn't succumb to despair, rather, sounds like he was probably quite a hope filled man. I think what esclandre was saying, was that they don't let life drag them down in a mental/emotional sense, they don't give up... I'd have to agree with her on that. It's easy to give up - it's hard to keep going. C |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Dopey_Dope, Whether you are right or wrong about what acire has to say, his words and views are still important. As for the rest of your comments, all I can say is that it works for me. Yes, some single mothers and simply bad care givers with not enough "care" in the giver. We all know that, unfortunately. Thanks, Michael Michael Auguste~ |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Christopher, The man over the last eight years has become one of my closet friends. Yes, he is a hopeful person and even now, does all that he can for everyone he meets. I know what Esclandre was saying, but got sidetracked in my response and wanted to relate a story that I thought might give us all hope in a way. Yes, it's easy to give up, but hard to fight on. Let us all fight for there is always a better tomorrow if we choose to make it so and sometimes even if we don't. Thank you for such a thoughtful response. Michael Michael Auguste~ |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Gee Chris...and here I was expecting an outrageous outburst from you. I know precisely what you think about single mothers...unless of course that's changed..  Single mothers are heroes...first we'd have to define hero... then I could sit here and argue about individual circumstances...about those single mothers who take excellent care of their children as opposed to those who crack up and hurt their kids... then I might mention issues of globalisation and population control. I'd look at welfare systems, statistics and socioeconomic data. Then, using the definition of hero as a basis, I'd put forth my opinion about the Western cultural concepts of motherhood and the expectations therein. But I won't. Because I don't want to be blasted for my opinions.  You can probably guess what some of them are already. (I don't like blanket statements). (My mother was a solo-mum btw for quite some time, so I'm not speaking out of pseudo-intellectualism).  KI am a refugee of logic...insisting on unlikely land with every step. [This message has been edited by Severn (edited 06-29-2001).] |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
And what does Chris think about single mothers? Goodness, I hope it's good - I'd hate to think that one of my closest friends has some hidden gripe against me for the year and a half, or so. heh Actually, no - I'm not worried about that in the slightest. I am though becoming more and more distressed with this topic. I dunno...I had this huge response planned out (of the hundreds of millions of things I don't know, this subject is one I'm quite familiar with), and I think I'll pass. I'm too clouded, too offended, to do anything other than make snide comments. That's never a good thing. So, TTFN! |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
LOL - I love it when I can cause problems without actually doing anything!  Yes and no to K's remark... (BTW K - I think I'm offended... I can't remember the last time you called me 'Chris!') What I think K is remembering is the time that I made a fairly large issue about people (it was specifically at the time an expectant single mother) who 'milk' the system. In specific, those who use the circumstances in their life to ride the 'welfare ticket,' with the intent to do so, and without searching for other options. It's almost too easy to do these days, and many simply accept that route as the path to take. THAT is what I have issues with. However, and I think it's mostly the case here, most single mothers/fathers aren't there by choice, per se. I know several (inclucing the wonderful ms nic there ) who don't opt for the 'easy way,' and instead choose to work hard and take more difficult paths in order to make the best life they can for themselves and their children.Nope, Nic's a hero to me. Hugs (except to you K until you call me "C" again) C |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Well gee C - I'm so sorry... CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC Is that better now? Can you cope? K[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 07-01-2001).] |
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Blaec Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 130The Sunshine State |
Auguste, you are right. Acire does have the right to voice his own opinion. I apologize to him for my last post. I got a little carried away. This is a very sensitive topic for me. My mother is very important to me. I tend to get a little defensive when it comes to her. Acire, I do apologize. You have the right to think, feel and speak your own opinions. I don't agree with them, but I do respect them. |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
thank you, michael |
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The Lonely Stranger Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 361Upstate, NY, USA |
We look up to people like Michael Jordan and call them heroes. What nonsense! Single mothers trying to raise their children all alone, going to work each day with only the one salary to feed and clothe these little ones are the unsung heroes in our society. They're working their butts off, a lot of the time without child support, to raise the next generation as best they can. Single mothers, I APPLAUD you loudly! You have my deepest respect. Michael Auguste Mike - I have to put in my two cents on this and it will not be pretty. I will try to be very clear, but I am sure I will earn some enemies. I feel like you are trying to ingratiate yourself to the women on this board by saying what you feel they want to hear. SOME single mothers are heroes, SOME are not. Some mothers got pregnant in order to "trap" a man who determined that he would not be trapped. SOME have slept around so much that they aren't sure what child belongs to what boyfriend. Some took children from loving fathers out of meanness, greed, infidelity or laziness and yes SOME single mothers are heroes. But when you make that blanket statement ... you encourage all the others who are NOT so heroic to do the twisted things they do. Bad enough that the family courts encourage them & pay them (out of the fathers hides). There ... I said my piece No one ever listened themselves into trouble. |
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NapalmsConstantlyConfused
since 2001-05-15
Posts 529 |
the single parents who stay strong and stand by their kids are heroes of the first order. it is, however, a sad reality that most single parents don't. -Dave |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
The Lonely Stranger, I appreciate your views on this thread, but to say that I'm trying to ingratiate myself with the women on this board is a very judgemental and unkind statement. Look at how long I have been with PIP. I don't need to ingratiate myself with the women here. Most of them already know me and many of them are my friends. They will find your statement regarding my character to be exactly the opposite of what you just "judged" it to be. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Single parenting is the most difficult yet most rewarding job I've ever done, and I have a 14 year old who has been worth every single moment of pain and agony, and rewarded me with much pleasure. As for the stranger,I understand what he says, but I've only known one female who intentionally 'trapped' someone, out of hundreds who became single moms. No matter what the reason, or no matter where the finances come from that support the child, attending to the daily emotional needs of a child, by only one parent, is really tough. don't know that qualifies us as heros, but I sure do thank you, Michael, for a moment on that pedestal. Now, where is my gold medal??? Hugs to you. |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
It is right here, Kacy, in the smile I'm giving you. *hugs* my friend |
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Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
Are all single mothers heroes? No. And that is not an opinion, that is a fact. To suggest that all single mothers are heroes would be to stereotype single mothers. A stereotype can never be justified. There are single moms who could be considered to heroes ~ these women found the strength and courage to leave their abusive husbands and raise their families with dignity and love and caring, all while earning a living too. However, there are many single moms who willingly allow themselves to get pregnant, knowing that there will not be a father around for the child ~ they live off of welfare and this is their chosen lifestyle. Of course, these are but two examples of probably hundreds that could be given to describe single moms, and these two examples are most definitely on opposite sides of the spectrum. |
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ambermize Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 157California |
Bout time we get some credit huh? I never set out to be a single mom but now that I am I have realized it does make it so much harder. I find that no one else can relate when I want to sit and talk about the little things he does that amazes me so. Get's lonley sometimes. My son is my life now, and every trial will be worth it. Thanks for the topic... *My new best friend* |
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