Abe, you just described the way I have felt for most of my life. This, too, intensified with the death of my father in 1993. I felt he was the only person in the world who could possibly "understand" me. I can't say I "know" exactly how you feel or everything you are going through but I can tell you this from my experiences:
It's easy to perceive "not understanding" as "not caring." Just because some people can't relate to what you are going through, doesn't mean they don't care. I personally turned away from many people who tried to be there for me within these very same forums - I was wrong in doing so. I know it sucks to be misunderstood - but it sucks works to be completely alone.
There are so many issues I could speak to you of, Abe, but I don't know you or what you're feeling well enough. I know there are ways to deal with the emotion, though. Ways to find release for the unhealthy ones, ways to embrace the ones you seem to be lacking right now.
I am not ashamed to admit seeking help for my depression. I might not be here speaking with you had I not. There is no better way to confront your emotion than by speaking it. A good counselor can teach you many things about yourself, and about the world, that are invaluable, especially in dealing with the loss of someone close to you. Don't be afraid to reach for that kind of help, Abe.
You have many, many friends here you can reach out to here as well. I hope you consider me one. Email me if you need to.