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Passions in Poetry

I HATE my life!

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Dusk Treader
Senior Member
since 06-18-99
Posts 1231
St. Paul, MN

0 posted 06-09-2001 12:09 AM       View Profile for Dusk Treader   Email Dusk Treader   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dusk Treader

Nothing is going right for me! Grrr... I've spent the better part of the year in a state of depressions, my mother passed away in October (backwards effect and cause) my social life is in shambles. I'm sick of being misunderstood of being misinterpreted...

I never post in this forum because nobody really cares, but I don't care either... I need to scream, break something and cry, but nothing helps... I do everything I can but nothing is good enough.. I want to crawl into a hole and die...

Thanks for listening to my rant... I just need to say it...

"There's nothing to keep me sane
And it's all the same to you" - Dream Theater - Space Dye Vest
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Ascendant
since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015

1 posted 06-09-2001 12:26 AM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

Abe, I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. You've had some very traumatic things happen in your life, and it's normal to feel sad and depressed. It's good that you're able to admit it, though. I'm glad that you came in here to vent, it's the best thing. I won't offer any ill advice, because I have never been in your situation and I know nothing about it. Just hang in there, and know that I'm always around if you need to talk.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333

2 posted 06-09-2001 12:30 AM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Abe, you just described the way I have felt for most of my life.  This, too, intensified with the death of my father in 1993.  I felt he was the only person in the world who could possibly "understand" me.  I can't say I "know" exactly how you feel or everything you are going through but I can tell you this from my experiences:

It's easy to perceive "not understanding" as "not caring."  Just because some people can't relate to what you are going through, doesn't mean they don't care.  I personally turned away from many people who tried to be there for me within these very same forums - I was wrong in doing so.  I know it sucks to be misunderstood - but it sucks works to be completely alone.

There are so many issues I could speak to you of, Abe, but I don't know you or what you're feeling well enough.  I know there are ways to deal with the emotion, though.  Ways to find release for the unhealthy ones, ways to embrace the ones you seem to be lacking right now.

I am not ashamed to admit seeking help for my depression.  I might not be here speaking with you had I not.  There is no better way to confront your emotion than by speaking it.  A good counselor can teach you many things about yourself, and about the world, that are invaluable, especially in dealing with the loss of someone close to you.  Don't be afraid to reach for that kind of help, Abe.

You have many, many friends here you can reach out to here as well.  I hope you consider me one.  Email me if you need to.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839

3 posted 06-09-2001 02:16 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Smiling now..listen to Michael..he's good medicine luvie! And I know. Sometimes it just feels so bad sometimes you have to say it.  
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002

4 posted 06-09-2001 08:11 AM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

I felt the same way, Abe, after the deaths of each of my parents. I'd say close to 3 years each time. Grief has a way of coloring everything else in our lives. Nothing will ever be the same as before but it does get better, it really does. Take the pressure off yourself and just live each moment at a time, don't expect too much from yourself at this time and don't put yourself down for feeling the way you do. It is normal, though most people hide their grief and true feelings of sorrow and despair from those around them which can lead one to wonder "what is wrong with me?", making you feel even worse. Begin to appreciate in a new way the loved ones who remain. Draw strength from each other and through the sharing of fond memories of the departed one. Healing is a process that takes time, lots of time. You have many friends, Abe. Don't believe otherwise and as Michael stated so well, don't ever hesitate to talk with someone about your depression. Talking with a therapist can definitely help you over the roughest spots. (((HUGS)))

[This message has been edited by Denise (edited 06-09-2001).]

Senior Member
since 05-28-2000
Posts 1226
Plantation, Florida

5 posted 06-09-2001 11:29 AM       View Profile for Romy   Email Romy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Romy

Abe, I just want to say that I know what you're feeling. Sometimes life can be so hard. I have no wise words, can only say, hang in there...You are not alone!  Even in this big crowded forum, it's easy to feel alone and ignored sometimes...You did the right thing, you reached out to others so that they could in turn be there for you.  I don't know you because I don't really know anybody here...but I know that you create beautiful and insightful stories...and your writing shows me who you are...
These are sad times right now, but things will slowly get better, they always do...don't give up, you have friends here waiting to help in any way they can!
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 08-30-2000
Posts 15536
San Juan, Puerto Rico

6 posted 06-09-2001 04:17 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

Abe....if you need to talk to me I'm here man. Sounds like you're going through some trying times. Good luck with that and be well soon.
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 06-03-2000
Posts 9897
The Shores of Alone

7 posted 06-09-2001 10:06 PM       View Profile for catalinamoon   Email catalinamoon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit catalinamoon's Home Page   View IP for catalinamoon

Hi, I don't know you, but I wanted to send my thoughts for you to feel better soon. I am familiar with the grief of losing a loved one, and of depression as well. Take care, and be well.
since 05-22-2001
Posts 142
North East, USA

8 posted 06-10-2001 04:57 AM       View Profile for angelbear   Email angelbear   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for angelbear

I read also am not ashamed to admit that I did seek help for a chemical depression that was triggered by many life events. I also work as a clinican in the mental health field and can tell  you that, as terribly alone as you may feel, you are not alone. Many people deal with these feelings and sometimes medication is needed, often at least therapy is needed. But in any case how you feel is 100% treatable. Good luck to you...Christine

I can't control
my destiny
I trust my soul,
my only goal
is just to "be"
-Lyrics from RENT

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 04-06-2000
Posts 10553

9 posted 06-12-2001 08:58 PM       View Profile for Irish Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irish Rose

I care.  I take medicine for my depression, and I shouldn't even be here now, but I am.
I've lost people, I've been misunderstood and I know, I KNOW how you feel. There are people who care and others who relate, you really don't know the pain people go through sometimes until you get to know them.

You are young, God, I wish I could go back sometimes....but that doesn't mean you don't hurt just as badly. Don't give up...I care.

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

since 05-11-2000
Posts 296
grand rapid,MI, usa

10 posted 06-12-2001 09:26 PM       View Profile for epoet   Email epoet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for epoet

We are all here for you.  Know that you are always cared for and thought of by your fellow poets.

P. J. Kotrch
carpe diem
A soul once touched is a soul once blessed by love

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