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Apathetic...{journal entry}

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since 01-08-2000
Posts 399

0 posted 05-08-2001 12:48 PM       View Profile for a-alibaster   Email a-alibaster   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit a-alibaster's Home Page   View IP for a-alibaster, there, and everywhere. Such is existance.
Been a while sense I have been here to babble, yet babble has not met much as of late. Depression seems to visit me again...tears that come for unknown reasons and at any given time.
Tired...insomnia...she seems my depressions precious mistress...*sigh*
Weather is wonderful lately. At least when I go out of doors or for a walk with my dog depression seems to follow a bit further behind than in the house. Here, it seems to set on my shoulders, peeking down into my face and whisper my name with haunting breath.
The air smells wonderful today as a hint of rain lingers sweetly there. I am longing for the dusk to bring the rain down with welcomed thunder and lightening to soothe my unsettled demons and calm the restlessness of my weary soul.

Game has begun...
yet I don't wish to play...
just hide me away...
I don't want to play...
not today.

"There is an alter ego which
dwells in every soul..."

"I am as I am, nothing more, nothing less,
I am tears of pain, tears of Death.

since 12-04-2000
Posts 395
fairyland....of course;)

1 posted 05-08-2001 03:31 PM       View Profile for Swamp了aeryie   Email Swamp了aeryie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Swamp了aeryie

i know this feeling you speak of...i know it well,i guess we have what you might call "a mutual friend"...or mutual enemy,at any rate i like the way you've written the feeling and appreciate that you have shared it with us.


much madness is divinest sense,and much sense the starkest madness~Emily Dickinson

Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273

2 posted 05-09-2001 08:37 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Hey ali...I've moved this over to the feelings forum as I feel it's more appropriate there..

White Wolf
since 09-18-99
Posts 384
Somewhere in the vast wastelan

3 posted 05-09-2001 11:27 PM       View Profile for White Wolf   Email White Wolf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for White Wolf

I know what depression and those haunting demons are.  I have had many of them.  What worked for me was some meditation to find out where they hide and what they are.  The I took my dusty sword from the closet and confronted them head on.  I had finally had enough of their banter.  I am not saying it was easy but never the less in the end I have prevailed.  This may not be the answer for you but it did work for me and I am finally seeing the end to the battles that will end my war to take back myself.  I wish you the best and remember the rainbow is always just around the corner if you look for it.
The White Wolf
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