Member Rara Avis
I have with some and not with others...
depends on the level of hurt incurred...perhaps how close you were as friends before you went out?
Here are two examples:
I was friends with one guy for a year before we went out for a short while...it has been easy to be his friend again...although it's harder for him as he still loves me apparently. But he himself says why lose something that was wonderful before anyway? We are very close - I can tell him anything, and he can 'handle' me heh...basically he understands me like few do. (My favourite thing is when he says 'Alright Kams, alright' when I get just a leetle bit stroppy heheheh (or a lot...)
A man I loved more than I had anyone before, truly, which was odd given that there were strange circumstances with this one, which I don't want to go into.
He hurt me several times, coming and going - but the last time was like getting slammed through a hoop over and over...the situation just got more ridiculous and bizarre I guess. He did things I couldn't believe. Eg...saying I love you I love you..while in the process of finding someone else. Then a week of silence when I didn't know what was happening...then he had the audicity to tell certain people I had chased him and forced myself on him...(well, metaphorically forced at any rate.) He also failed to tell me he had found someone else so soon - and given the circumstances, the way I did find out was not pleasant. Suffice to say it was rather public. I'd also sacrificed a LOT for that relationship, and if I made the circumstances clear in here, you'd understand what I mean. He didn't seem to give a toss about that either. Some of the things I sacrificed I haven't been able to reclaim. Emotionally and physically I suppose.
This is a much simplified telling of course.
Now, I simply don't want to know him...especially considering he doesn't appreciate, or seem to, the hurt he caused - rather it was just 'one of those things.' The icing on the cake was when he told me he still loved me but sometimes things aren't meant to be. My cynicism handled that one well lol.
What hurts the most is that we were such great friends...wonderful friends. So while I can forgive and have forgiven him - I don't want him in my life anymore. Though I thought I could for awhile...but I think that was the remnants of my love talking.
So yes - it fully depends on the circumstance doesn't it? There are no black and whites. (No one point out to me that that is a inherently problematic, self-contradictory statement either ok? lol..I know.)
All obscurity starts with a danger:
Your dangers are many. I
Cannot look much but your form suffers
Some strange injury
[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 04-20-2001).]