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dreamer1 12 5 24
Member
since 12-11-2000
Posts 172
crossing between


0 posted 03-24-2001 08:53 PM       View Profile for dreamer1 12 5 24   Email dreamer1 12 5 24   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for dreamer1 12 5 24

sigh. I feel awful. I... um... Life isn't treating me well, and I don't want to post about it, because most of what is worrying me is not appropriate. I have been writing lots of poetry lately, but I can't post any of it, because it would get locked and I'd get scolded and right now, that would probably make me cry, and I really want to cry except I can't because my family would see and they'd say "Whats wrong" but i cant tell them because theyd say something dumb that makes me feel worse or theyd get mad at me for being ungrateful or some such crap and I hate them theyre half my problem. sigh. breathe stacey. My punctuation just disappeared. I hate that. I mean it didn't disappear, I stopped typing it. (By accident).

Please, pray for me if you want, but dont talk religion and god with me, I really cant take it now. Oh, and dont expect me to pray, god and i are not on speaking terms. I just want to scream but i cant. my family would hear. sigh. Thanks for listening if youve read this far through my wavering punctuation.

dreamer

....peace as a primary objective is dangerous because it implies that we would sacrifice any principle for the sake of it....
Robert Kaplan

[This message has been edited by LoveBug (edited 03-25-2001).]

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


1 posted 03-24-2001 09:07 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Have you written poetry or prose about this? You can (if you're old enough) post it in the Adult forum. And if your family can't get in, they can't see it. OR, you can email me...I'm a good listener.

And punctuation while your upset (angry/in love/sick,etc) is optional.
Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Laureate
since 06-07-2000
Posts 14805
Twilight Zone


2 posted 03-24-2001 09:08 PM       View Profile for Acies   Email Acies   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Acies

I'm sorry to see that you're going thru hard times right now. I'd just like you to reconsider and give your family more credit. Tell them what you're going thru right now. Good communication is a great tool in solving problems you know.

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


3 posted 03-24-2001 09:23 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

And if for some reason your parents can't or won't listen, go to a school counselor and see if there is some free assistance you can receive from other reliable sources. A rant is a terrible thing to waste, especially if pulling the plug on it now will save many wonderful moments of your future...

and if you want it....{{{{hugs}}}} - I've been told mine are pretty good, and always, always sincere.....
dreamer1 12 5 24
Member
since 12-11-2000
Posts 172
crossing between


4 posted 03-24-2001 10:26 PM       View Profile for dreamer1 12 5 24   Email dreamer1 12 5 24   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for dreamer1 12 5 24

Thanks for listening.
Unfortunately I'm not an adult, no luck there.

Yes, I have tried talking to my family, I don't get a very receptive response. My dad doesn't communicate well. That and he yells at me for nothing then apologizes a few hours later, only to do the same thing in a few minutes. GRRRRRR.......

I have tried talking to councelors. For some reason I have trouble talking to them. It's weird. I talk and minimalize everything and finish with, yeah, nothing is really wrong, I just needed to talk, and I've done nothing but lie about how bad things are.

Oh well, I'll live. Thanks again for listening.

dreamer

....peace as a primary objective is dangerous because it implies that we would sacrifice any principle for the sake of it....
Robert Kaplan

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 01-04-2001
Posts 4212
Winnipeg


5 posted 03-25-2001 12:44 AM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allan Riverwood

Well I don't know your situation very well, but I'll have to say that you can speak to me about it if you so desire. Maybe it would be nice to talk to someone about your age... although I don't know your age, I'm a teen so I must be closer than most.
My ICQ # is provided, on AIM I am wayfinder00, I have MSN at wayfinder00@hotmail.com and I even have yahoo. Yup, you guessed it, my SN there is wayfinder00.
Sense a theme here? I'd love to try and offer any advice or just support.
Whatever is inappropriate for Passions doesn't bother me outside of Passions.
So IM me sometime, if you like.
But even if you don't, just hang in there ok? Sometimes parents aren't all we'd like them to be. But they pay the bills.
Best of luck to you.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 06-15-99
Posts 7276
Mobile, AL


6 posted 03-25-2001 06:11 AM       View Profile for Temptress   Email Temptress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Temptress

Hmm..my advice is if you feel the need to write it, but know you can't post it here; write it anyway, but put it in your own personal notebook. Remember, even though it helps sometimes, we don't necessarily have to post everything we write. Sometimes it helps to just write it out.
LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015


7 posted 03-25-2001 07:46 AM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this, but we all have hard times in our lives. It is really better to talk to someone, and sharing your feelings with us was the first step. Like Temptress said, you can write about it and just keep it for yourself if you think it isn't appropriate. If you need to cry or scream, cry and scream! Don't keep these things locked inside, they'll eat at your soul until there is nothing left. If you want to talk to me about something, feel free to e-mail me at weirdbeetlelady@hotmail.com

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 04-06-2000
Posts 10553


8 posted 03-25-2001 11:30 AM       View Profile for Irish Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irish Rose

I understand this., I have been writing poetry for nearly 3 years and only recently opened up through my poetry. You are telling yourself the wrong things. Not that they aren't true; I do this also. Begin by telling yourself a small truth, one thing that is true and tell yourself that. "I am worth something" Nothing wrong with praying and I would never preach to you. You don't need that. WHat you need is to express but Passions isn't enough, you may need counseling yes...but you need one on one real tough love, a good special close friend. Do you have one? If not, I'm offering.

Be safe

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Laureate
since 08-30-2000
Posts 15536
San Juan, Puerto Rico


9 posted 03-25-2001 01:24 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

I hope all gets better....if you need somebody to talk i'm here!
dreamer1 12 5 24
Member
since 12-11-2000
Posts 172
crossing between


10 posted 03-25-2001 07:40 PM       View Profile for dreamer1 12 5 24   Email dreamer1 12 5 24   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for dreamer1 12 5 24

I guess I didn't write this well. The main problems are at school, but I can't write about them, so I wrote about my parents a small percentage of my problem. I don't really want to tell anyone what's going wrong because that caused half my problems. I'm just so sick of... well... everything.

I'm also just drained. I have nothing left to give. I'm so tired of being a hypocrite but I have no choice. I'm not a christian, and I don't want to be one at the moment. But, if I tell my family that, I would get kicked out of the house. So I live two separate lives and I hate it. I want to be honest, I'm an honest person, but I can't be, because I'm afraid of what would happen if I tell the truth. A large majority of my friends would leave me too, and they would tell their parents who would them dislike me and the parents would tell my parents, whether they knew already or not.

Thanks again for listening.

dreamer

....peace as a primary objective is dangerous because it implies that we would sacrifice any principle for the sake of it....
Robert Kaplan

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 01-04-2001
Posts 4212
Winnipeg


11 posted 03-25-2001 07:48 PM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allan Riverwood

Oh now this IS a problem...
and one I can relate to.
I have a friend, and several people who are close to me, who discriminate against me because of my non-Christianity. Yes, I know exactly what you are saying.
I have to pretend like nothing is wrong with my parents, with not only religion but also other aspects of my life. For a long time, if forced me to lead "two seperate lives," as you called it.
So yes, there isn't much that can be done in this situation. If I had a solution for you, I wouldn't be having these problems myself...
But talk... to people who understand. Like me, I guess.
I have one or two people that I talk to about this, and it helps me keep my head high.
I know it's tough. So hang in there.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


12 posted 03-25-2001 09:50 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Ya know what? The truth never stays buried for long. It's eating you up already by trying to hide it.

Your parents can be a lot more understanding than you think. You need to find someone neutral, that's not in the situation, and talk to that person. (someone you can trust)

Only because I've been there can I tell you that lying is gonna drag you down. It's better to just be straight forward, and tell the truth, and if people care enough, they'll except that truth. Now, that doesn't mean they couldn't be upset with what they hear, but they'll deal with it, and they'll still be there afterwards.

In all seriousness, it sounds like you need to talk to someone. I am here, though I know you don't know me. But I don't know your friends, nor your family either, therefore I can't say anything, nor would I anyway.

Just something for you to think about. Maybe you need to bring your parents in with you to a counselor, to help them adjust to what you need to say, and you're on a 'common' ground so to speak. Someone who can help you say what you need to say, and someone who can help them listen to what you have to say. Objectively!

[This message has been edited by WhtDove (edited 03-25-2001).]

dreamer1 12 5 24
Member
since 12-11-2000
Posts 172
crossing between


13 posted 03-27-2001 12:45 AM       View Profile for dreamer1 12 5 24   Email dreamer1 12 5 24   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for dreamer1 12 5 24

Thanks everyone for reading this far, I didn't expect this many replies. I really appreciate it.

Wht Dove, I don't think I have to worry about getting caught. The two lives thing has been going on for a few years and I get drained occasionally, but I'll recover, I just need a few days away.

I really appreciate everyone who is there for me even though none of you know me. Maybe if my parents leave the house for more than ten minutes I'll make an email to someone. Until they leave again, bye.

....peace as a primary objective is dangerous because it implies that we would sacrifice any principle for the sake of it....
Robert Kaplan

kitkat
Senior Member
since 01-11-2000
Posts 892
Nova Scotia


14 posted 03-27-2001 07:57 AM       View Profile for kitkat   Email kitkat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kitkat

I have to agree with WhtDove. The truth always comes out in the end. I was never considered a conventional parent. I was a divorced woman raising two teens on my own. I am not relegious. I basically raised my kids on the philosophy be honest. I told my kids always tell me the truth. I may not like what I hear but will respect there opinion/decision. Needless to say my kids are now young adults with stable jobs and morals.
I use to tell my kids a lie, whether to someone or to yourself ,will eat you up inside. It can effect the way you feel about yourself. I think by you hiding how you feel and not talking about it ,is eating you up inside and that is why you feel the way you do. Now like I said, I am not relegious. But is not a Christian one who is to give love and not judge others for what they do? Is not forgiveness part of their Faith?
I know it is easier said then done but Talk with your parents. You say you need not worry. But can't you see you are! You need to get away? Away from what? It is still there when you return. What needs to go away is the lie you hold within yourself . Once you release the truth,you will see, you will no longer need time away.
I hope you can find someone to talk with.
dragonpoe
Senior Member
since 11-12-2000
Posts 617
Palm Bay, Florida


15 posted 03-28-2001 04:30 PM       View Profile for dragonpoe   Email dragonpoe   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for dragonpoe

Even if you can't share your writing, still keep it going, writing lets you air out so much, and you don't have to be afraid of being yelled at, or ashamed. And as PoetdeVine said, you can always email me or I am sure a number of us here, we might not be able to pat your back and hug you, but we can listen, offer advice or just words, and that always helps, and a cyper hug is as good as any, right?
Take care, and remember, life isn't roses, no matter what anyone says, and family is often the cause of most people's worries. I know from experience, so trust me.
A smile for you,  

With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free..
dragonpoe

 
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