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Passions in Poetry

Surgery Scare

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Senior Member
since 03-05-2000
Posts 696

0 posted 03-06-2001 04:37 PM       View Profile for StarrGazer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for StarrGazer

Ok... I'm 25 found out I have endometriosis (stage4) and am scheduled to have a hysterectomy on the 29th of this month... the closer the date comes the more scared I get. I can't define what exactly I am afraid of, I've tried. I just know my life is going to change drastically after this surgery. I know a lot of it has to do with feeling out of control... I know the surgery is needed, and I think I want to have it done ... but there is this whole sense of it being unfair. My family has been really supportive but I have no idea how to tell them what I am feeling because it seems insane to me, and I kind of have this thing about not needing anyone so it is hard for me to say "hey I'm having a hard time dealing with this and I could use a little help" So... I feel like I'm going off the deep end here and I'm not even sure what this post is supposed to accomplish ... just wondering if anyone has went through a similar circumsatnce and how they dealt with it
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Member Ascendant
since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015

1 posted 03-06-2001 05:01 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

Oh my! First of all, let me extend my prayers for you. This kind of health scare would frighten the strongest of us, and everything you are feeling is normal. You shouldn't be afraid to let your friends and family know how you feel, but I'm glad that you came to THIS family! I've never had any kind of major surgery, but I'm sure someone who has will find this thread and talk to you about it. I hope I've been some kind of help! God bless!

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli
Dopey Dope
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Member Laureate
since 08-30-2000
Posts 15536
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 03-06-2001 05:46 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

Well I have no idea what you're going through, but I can say that my prayers are with you. If you ever need a family to talk to you can always come to us. I know you'll be ok and everything will work out just fine.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily
Poet deVine
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley

3 posted 03-06-2001 06:34 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

I understand your fears, though I have not had this surgery. I have had others though - both my children were C-sections.

You know your life won't change 'drastically'. You won't have that monthly visit - and if I know anything about your condition, you won't miss that! As for anything else, you will probably have to take hormones - a pill or a patch - which is not a big deal.

I don't know if you have kids, if not, and you want a family, there are thousands of kids just waiting for a poetic mom like you!

If you are afraid that this will in any way diminish your feminity, trust me, it won't!! Not at all.

Don't think you have to be strong. Cry! Yell! This is your body and you are going to get part of it removed.

I'll keep you in my prayers also. I don't know how long you'll be the hospital so take a book of inspirational poetry with you (along with some paper and pens). And if they tell you they're bringing a bed pan, ask them to WARM it first!!!

Let us know how things go, ok???

[This message has been edited by Poet deVine (edited 03-06-2001).]
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 06-07-2000
Posts 14805
Twilight Zone

4 posted 03-06-2001 06:36 PM       View Profile for Acies   Email Acies   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Acies

Seems like Sharon got it all
My prayers are with you
Don't worry, everything is gonna be okay, just have faith

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561

5 posted 03-06-2001 09:28 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

That's got to be a hard thing to think about.
My sister had the same thing, but they put her on medication.

Don't be afraid to say how you're feeling, it's normal to be emotional, and scared.
I haven't been through this, but I have also had a C-section, and a couple surgeries on my ankle.

I was terrified with my ankle, it was my first one, but things went ok. You'll be ok too. You'll be in my prayers, and please keep us updated on how you're doing.

Kit McCallum
Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada

6 posted 03-06-2001 10:06 PM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

I've been where you are Starrgazer, and please know that I do understand these feeling all too well. I was about your age when I had a full hysterectomy too, and endometriosis played a large part in this, along with a lot of other factors. It's been over 10 years since the surgery, and my daily life improved so dramatically ... it's difficult to even describe. Before the surgery, I couldn't remember what it was like to live without severe pain, and now, several years later I have no idea how I lasted so long before having the surgery done. I would make the same decision in a heartbeat.

If you'd like to talk, please send me an e-mail ... I do understand, and you can ask anything you like ... {{{hugs}}} to you ...

[This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 03-06-2001).]
Senior Member
since 12-01-1999
Posts 1526
Washington State

7 posted 03-07-2001 05:13 PM       View Profile for Irie   Email Irie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irie

I have so many family members and friends that have gone through this.
Yet, I still have no idea what it is like to try and deal with this.....

All I can say is the my prayers are with you and am sending you great big hugs.....

And far as your family goes....tell them how you feel.
I'm sure they will be very understanding......

Keep us posted.


"The things that come to those that wait may be the things
left by those who got there first"

Senior Member
since 03-05-2000
Posts 696

8 posted 03-08-2001 03:46 PM       View Profile for StarrGazer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for StarrGazer

I just want to thank all of you for everything.. for being such caring people! I did talk to my mother about the fears I have ... seems once you've said something a first time it gets easier and easier to say and I'd be lying if I said I still wasn't scared, but now I've kind of got an open line of communication going and can express those fears instead of keeping them all to myself ... and if it wasn't for you guys I don't think I could have done that!!!


Member Elite
since 02-10-2000
Posts 2267
Pickering, Ontario

9 posted 03-09-2001 07:06 PM       View Profile for Marina   Email Marina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marina

I completly understand what you are going through. I too was diagnoised with the same condition as yourself, when I was 12. I have had about 8-10 surgical procedures to try and keep on top of. I too had the same operation when I 28. Unfortunitly, I found it effected me far more emtionally then physically. It took me a very long time to deal with it, but I can assure that you do and you will feel so much better for it.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Believe me, they're so many women out there who know exactly what you are going through. Best of luck.

since 04-19-2001
Posts 277
great state of illinois

10 posted 04-23-2001 05:54 PM       View Profile for Godsend_1   Email Godsend_1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Godsend_1

ok i am the new guy i know and i dont kow all of you very well yet but i know all of you are great ppl and i love yall very much and i will pray for youtons hun it will be ok life gets better so be strong *hugs* i love ya hun its all good its always all good


i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever deal with it

Member Rara Avis
since 06-15-99
Posts 7276
Mobile, AL

11 posted 04-23-2001 09:26 PM       View Profile for Temptress   Email Temptress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Temptress

I certainly will keep you in my thoughts, and hope your surgery goes well. Draw from the strength of your friends and family.

I had a friend who went through this. She had a hard time dealing with it and at times tried to push me away. I stood still...right beside her. They told her she wouldn't be able to have children, but guess what. She has two now.  

God Bless and get well.

still d-i-s-c-o-n-n-e-c-t-e-d
I am bound by this, you become Night's sole mistress, and I am jealous in my endeavours for his attention.

Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 06-03-2000
Posts 9897
The Shores of Alone

12 posted 04-27-2001 10:44 PM       View Profile for catalinamoon   Email catalinamoon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit catalinamoon's Home Page   View IP for catalinamoon

Hi, just wanted to add my support. I had a  hysterectomy in my mid 30's, had already had a child, so that part did not bother me. I was scared, too, just because of the stories you hear. It does depend on how extensive the surgery, if you will need hormones, but that really is not such a problem once you get adapted to the right amount. OK, I don't know you, and I will tell you this one thing, which I have no idea if others have thought of. I was scared to death it would ruin my sex life. Absolutely it DID NOT!
Also, I had previously had surgery, so I was expecting it to be extremely painful as that one was. It was less, though still difficult. You can plan to be hurting for a week or so, enough to not want to do much of anything. After that, its more a matter of regaining your strength, which may take a few months, or less if you are in good health otherwise.
Hey I just realized you may already be in the hospital as I write this. If so, then just remember, whenever you get back to your computer, that you will be feeling fine soon, and it will eliminate a lot of regular pain. Good luck, and email if I can help in any way.
Member Elite
since 09-18-2000
Posts 2272

13 posted 04-28-2001 04:56 PM       View Profile for inot2B   Email inot2B   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for inot2B

May I say, been there done that. Truthfully I was not afraid of the surgery, all I knew is if I had to go through one more month of pain I'd have done myself in. When I woke up I had a pain where surgery was done but I felt so happy that the other pain would not come back. I had a new lease on life. Kept the ovaries so did not have to take hormone replacements till old age caught up with me.
My feelings on it all was why didn't I get the surgery done several years earlier.
Good luck and believe me you will feel alot better when its all over.
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