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catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

0 posted 2000-12-02 10:54 PM


Lots of you know my story, but even if you don't, this is my problem now. I feel so lonely, and I feel despair of it ever ending. At first, I could write and write about the pain, and got lots of wonderful support from everyone here at the forums. Then as time passed, I ran out of words to say how bad I feel, and probably out of people that want to hear about it.  
I feel, for many reasons, that I will not have another love in my life, and I don't want that to be true. Because I have always lived for love. I don't know what to do with this fear, that I could go the rest of my life like this, in a wasteland, emotionally destitute. Its not that I feel undeserving of love, or that I am unwilling to try, or be open to it. It just feels hopeless. And I can't find the spark of the dream anymore.
How do you find a new dream, and make yourself believe in it?
Sandra

© Copyright 2000 Sandra - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2000-12-02 11:24 PM


Although I am young I do know that time has to take its course and let you heal along with it. Now, I don't know your exact situation but I do know that if you are willing to move on, and willing to go out there and try and think like a positive person you can do it. Look beyond all this negativity and the once was. Put it all behind you because if you are contemplating a new love, then you have to contemplate a new life along with it. Love renews your soul, thus renewing your internal happiness and so on. You have to be ready for this and only time will tell whether you are or not. All I can say is that when time says to get up and go round some potential lover YOU DO IT.......but for now try and smile.  



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
2 posted 2000-12-03 12:32 PM


you look for it inside of you. . .

I have said many times in these forums. . . you must love yourself before others can love you. . . so take this time to work on you. . . write it all out. . . even if it doesn't make sense. . . get it all out. . .

Work on you. . . do something new. . . take a trip. . . do something you've never done before. . .

who knows?  You just might like what you find. . . strength to you my friend. . .

------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
3 posted 2000-12-03 08:32 AM


Love doesn't come knocking upon your door.  You have to be out where people are... Open to their friendship... Open to the prospect of a totally "NEW" direction in your life...

Go out - Have fun - Be happy.... Happiness will find you in some for or another...

Above all... Smile within - That shows on the outside, and people want to be a part of it... God Bless, my friend..

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
4 posted 2000-12-03 12:08 PM


Hi Sandra ... I'm sorry you're still feeling a little lost, but here's a wonderful idea that sort of goes along with another up above. I had lunch with an office aquaintance the other day, someone I didn't know very well, and was absolutely impressed with her attitude. She too had gone through a very difficult time, and shortly thereafter, decided to devote time to herself for all the many things she'd never done in her life.

She and her sister, for the last few years, now write out 3 relatively major things they've never done before, and try to find an opportunity to do it within the coming year. This year, she wanted to kayak, rock climb and ride a Harley. Throughout the year, they also keep lists of just "anything" they haven't done before that is new. I'd taken her to a Japanese restaurant, and she realized she'd never eaten at one before ... so on the list it goes as things she's now done! Big things, little things ... they keep  adding to their lists throughout the year and each year are thankful for all the new opportunities they've had. Doesn't matter if it's just buying or wearing a new type of clothing she was leery of before, or trying out a new type of food. Everything counts and goes on the list.  

She's convinced me to do it too!  She was a wonderful example to "live" by.  

Romy
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida
5 posted 2000-12-04 12:52 PM


Kit, I just have to say that this is a wonderful idea for anyone to try!
Sandra, I think you should take her advice and Nan's too!  Getting out, trying new things, it's bound to make you feel better!
Don't despair, it might feel hopeless, but love can happen when you least expect it to! Hang in there.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
6 posted 2000-12-04 01:24 PM


Sandra I wish you lived near me...we could  do each of those new things together and  before long we both would be like new....in tip top shape and the world would have to watch out for the two of us...*winkin  from one moon to another...

~Wynter


"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II


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