Member Rara Avis
i'm of the opinion that people are very resilient. if you aren't "happy", then it's very likely that your unhappiness is being felt by those who love you who appear to be happy -- but i'd venture to guess that if you were in a situation which made you happier, they, too, will be happier.
happy is a relative term... lol.. i don't mean that it depends on if your relatives are happy.. hehe... i mean, to some people, "content" is "happy", to others, they aren't "content" unless they have a relative frequency of "elation"... and still to others "elation" on a frequent bases can make them "discontent" because it's a powerful emotion which can disrupt "contentment"...
does any of that make sense to anybody? well, it does to me...
bottom line is, IMHO, if you think that you aren't "happy" , using whatever definition you have set forth as your standard for happiness, then, your emotions are reflected in your daily life, and the people around you feel it.... and if they love you, they are negatively effected by your "unhappiness"
I guess it should be clear by now, why i'm putting all these words in quotes. because they are subjective emotions and not the same for everyone... we all have different standards about what in our life "satisfies" us.
So, my conclusion, given my premise, is that if you make a change which will effect you in a positive way as far as how satisfied you are with your life, most likely, it will positively effect those who love you.... eventually. now, there's greys in here, too. i mean, children, for instance, are dependant upon parents, so if you make a move that's selfish in regards to your "happiness", and leaves your children in a worse case scenario than being effected by your "unhappiness", well, that's not a good choice.
but, selfishness toward an end which negatively effects others, especially those you love, can't give you happiness anyway.
so, it's a very good question you've posed, serenity, but i would say that every individual situation is unique and all options must be explored.... especially the possible effects on others, should you make a major life changing decision...
if you look back on your life, i'm sure you'll find that there were times you made decisions which at first seemed negative in regards to how others would react, in order to move forward in your life toward your goal of "happiness", but people are resilient, and if you made those choices for the RIGHT reasons (which only you can know), then, eventually EVERYBODY was happier after YOU got happier, right?
ok, i've rambled... 'scuse me *s
thanks for posing this question - it's certainly an important one and one we all deal with at one time or another in our lives (or is that several dozen??)
Lo que eres hable tan fuerte que no oigo lo que tu dices-