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I've Got Some Juicy Gossip For You!

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Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


0 posted 10-03-2000 06:46 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine


Gossip claimed a victim today. Someone in my department was hurt by gossip spread by someone in another department. (Whether or not it was true is moot – it was gossip!)

So what do you think? We tend to gossip too much I think…listen to juicy tidbits of information that may or may not be true. Why? Is it human nature? Why? Is it because we have to know everything? What difference does it make? Does the gossiper feel that he or she is ‘in the know’? Is it a way to get attention? Is it a power trip for the gossiper? What rights do I have as a bystander to speak up and tell someone to shut up – drop it or get over it?

*How many of you opened this post because you thought I was going to spread a rumor?
Irie
Senior Member
since 12-01-1999
Posts 1526
Washington State


1 posted 10-03-2000 07:31 PM       View Profile for Irie   Email Irie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irie

Well Sharon, knowing you I thought this would be some thing cute......or something that had nothing to do with gossip at all.
I didn't figure you one to spread gossip.  
So did I open this because I thought I was going to get some juicy tid bits? No, I opened this because I was curious what you were up to!  
Sorry for your co-worker, I know how that goes!  

Great point you've made here Sharon.....


~Sheri

"The things that come to those that wait may be the things
left by those who got there first"
Kit McCallum
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since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


2 posted 10-03-2000 07:39 PM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

LOL ... no Sharon, I didn't figure you'd perpetrate rumours, so was actually quite curious what the title meant.

I've seen far too much of this happen in offices. I've been on the receiving end of it myself, and I can tell you that I confronted the "spreader" hard and fast ... no mercy. As manager, I've also had to confront "gossip mongers" on behalf of other staff that have been hurt.

In my experience, the individuals who continually do this are lacking in excitement in their own lives, and like to live through being "the one in the know" as you say.

Did you notice that there's always one person in the office where if you want to know something, you'll be told invariably "go see so-and-so, she knows everything", never mind if their information is accurate or not. Sigh ... they're like a computer gathering data only to spew out hyroglyphics.
Sven
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since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


3 posted 10-03-2000 07:40 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

Well, I didn't think that you were going to spread a rumor. . . but I did think that you were trying to get my attention. . . (which you did by the way!   )

I would say that it is human nature. . . we always want to know things. . . especially when they're about other people. . . we want to see what there is that we don't know about them. . . of course, most of it is probably not true. . . but we don't care. . . we want to know. . . as people, we have an uncontrollable urge to know

I would also say that it is a "power trip" for the gossiper. . . they feel that they have the upper hand on whoever they have the gossip on. . . especially if it's someone that they don't particularly like. . . all the more reason for them to spread it. . . and make that person's name "mud" in front of anyone that will hear it.

Many people have come to me and said, "Did you hear that so-and-so. . . blah, blah, blah".  And when I ask, "Oh, how do you know?"  The answer is always, "Oh, I can't tell you who told me. . . but I did hear it."

That, my friends. . . is a load of garbage.  If you heard it from anyone other than the person that you talked about. . . it's probably not true. . .and if you did hear it from that person, chances are you weren't supposed to repeat it and broke a trust and possibly friendship.

You as the bystander have every right to tell whoever to just go away.  That you don't want to hear it, that you don't want to know. . .and that you want nothing to do with it. . . chances are though, if you do that. . .the gossiper will more than likely start a rumor about you. . .just because you didn't want to partcipate in their "fun".

I don't have to mention to any of you that recently we have had our own little "gossip fest" here at Passions. . . the aftermath?  Lost friendships. . . strained relationships. . . and lost members. . . it just happened again recently.  And it's sad. . . just really sad. . . that in a community such as this, we can't come to people directly and ask them the things that we want to know. . . NO. . .we have to go behind backs, and hurt others just so that we're in the know.

Okay. . . I've probably said too much now. . .and there will probably be a rumor that I said "this" about someone and "that" about someone else. . . so, I'll step down and let someone with a little more tact and compassion speak. . .

Great post deVine. . . let's hope that no one misses the lesson. . .  

-----------------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

Elizabeth
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
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America the beautiful


4 posted 10-03-2000 08:25 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Interesting that you should post this now, Sharon, as I am writing a paper with a theme that, paraphrased, is about people believing what they want to believe. Anyway, my opinion on gossip is that people will spread it for two reasons, the first one being that it's always interesting to talk about someone else, and the second one being that they like to be the one that's 'in the know'.

As a bystander, I think we have every right to tell people to shut up. Most likely, the gossip is either a mutilated version of the truth or even made up altogether. It hurts people. I have seen gossip that's bad enough to put people's jobs in jeopardy. The thing is, no one really cares, as long as they themselves are not the ones who are being talked about.

Another thing: people believe what they want to believe. They think it's more interesting to believe whatever the rumor of the week is, rather then the actual facts. And when more and more people are spreading the rumors, it can become even easier to believe them--after all, if everyone is saying something, then it must have some truth to it, right?

I know we're only human and we are in no way pefect, but that shouldn't be an excuse for us to do whatever we want. And no, I didn't open this because I thought you were going to start spreading a juicy rumor. I can't imagine you doing so!  

Elizabeth


Something sweet, something sort of grandish, sweeps my soul when thou art near...
hedeservesbetter@hotmail.com

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


5 posted 10-03-2000 08:30 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Well I know you well enough to know this wasn't going to be gossip.

Rumors can hurt, that's for sure.

I've often heard and often thought about this over and over. Normally when it is we have something to say about someone, we tend to do those very things ourselves.

So the next time you go to say something about someone, really stop and take a look in the mirror. Chances are you'll see the same thing in yourself.

The best way to stop gossip is to walk away from it. It won't stop the person from gossiping, but it will sure get the message across that you're not interested in hearing it.

I know that don't answer your questions Sharon, but I doubt anyone can truly give a valid answer to those questions.

I'm sorry your friend was hurt by this.

Erin
Member Elite
since 06-15-2000
Posts 2681
~Chicago~


6 posted 10-03-2000 11:09 PM       View Profile for Erin   Email Erin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Erin

I know that I have gossiped and I know people have had their share of gossiping about me. Rumors do hurt even if its not true. But if people are gonna gossip about me you know what I say?? Glad that I could be the center of attention in their life.

~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~
JP
Senior Member
since 05-25-99
Posts 1391
Loomis, CA


7 posted 10-04-2000 09:35 AM       View Profile for JP   Email JP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JP's Home Page   View IP for JP

Damn!  I was hoping for something really juicy!  

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
JP

Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so.
B. Russell
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


8 posted 10-04-2000 09:45 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

I opened this post, thinking "sure, lady...sure..." because I know you better...and now, I know it's PC for everyone to be above the gossip machine, but...methinks it depends upon the "quality" of gossip...lol...at least we like to tell ourselves so...we NEED to know for reasons of yeah, yeah, blah, blah...but the truth is, we are all looking for sparks of humanity within each other, and human foibles
happen to play a big part in that.  Now, is it right?  Who knows?  But it will continue, as long as we are curious enough about each other, to search for components of similarities...even if only through the mundane.  
 
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