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help?

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Lil OnE
Member
since 12-14-1999
Posts 234
Pasco County. Fl.


0 posted 08-28-2000 06:11 PM       View Profile for Lil OnE   Email Lil OnE   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lil OnE

I am so lost right now. I'm in this everlasting enigma. It's just not cool anymore. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months. I can honestly say I love him. But I started school 2 weeks ago, and he's INCREDIBLY paranoid that I'm going to find somebody I like more than him. So I assured him and gave him my promise, which is good till the end, that IF I found somebody, I would tell him, and not cheat on him. I do NOT break promises. So anyways... there's this friend Al. He's only that. A friend. So today, after school, I had Al take me to my boyfriends work, because he works with my mom, and my mom's boss had stuff he needed me to file, so I stopped by. Noa, (my boyfriend) was there, so I said hi. Anyways... when we left, I came home, and Al had to go take care of some stuff, then he came back over and we went swimming. Well, Noa and our friend Mickey came over just to say hi, but when Noa knocked on the door, nobody answered, because Al and I were outside swimming. Well, Noa came in, and looked in my room, where Al's clothes were, and he kinda spazzed. He called later and interrogated me, and after I explained what happened, he said he believed me. But then he added something. He said if anything ever DID happen, and I hurt him, he'd put a bullet in his head. You've got to understand that he's a big teddy bear, who would never hurt me or his self. But he's going to be paranoid every time I'm in schoool. Any advice? Cause I'm really going crazy here. Sorry this is so long, but I feel a little bit better now that I got it out. Thanks, everybody, for allowing me to vent.



"I've fallen asleep, slept so sound.
Fallen so fast,
I missed the ground"
~Lil OnE~

X Angel
Senior Member
since 11-07-1999
Posts 1592
Oregon


1 posted 08-28-2000 06:20 PM       View Profile for X Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for X Angel

Is your mom pretty level headed? Maybe you should talk to her and tell her all this. Really. Sometimes just talking things through with a real live person is a really good thing. Best of luck, and I'll say a prayer for you.
~Heather
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


2 posted 08-28-2000 07:28 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Wow..this brought back a very painful memory for me. I'll share it with you and tell you how I handled it. But I think you should also talk to him and his mom and anyone of your friends that may help him.

The first time I told my husband I wanted a divorce, he said "maybe I should just get a gun and take care of it that way". I was scared I can tell you! I calmly talked him out of it...and unfortunately, stayed with him for almost a year after that incident. But I felt like he was blackmailing me! The fear, anger and frustration kept growing until I finally had to tell him it was truly over between us. Maybe it would have worked out if he hadn't 'threatened' me if we had gotten some counseling or something. That's why I think it's a good idea for the two of you to talk to someone together!

If you'd like to talk some more about this, please send me an email or contact me via ICQ if you want.

I will keep you both in my prayers. Let me know how things go for you! Take care.
Lil OnE
Member
since 12-14-1999
Posts 234
Pasco County. Fl.


3 posted 08-28-2000 08:03 PM       View Profile for Lil OnE   Email Lil OnE   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lil OnE

Thank you both. My mom is level headed, but she already thinks I'm depressed again, so I'm not going to add to it. The thing is, I DON'T want to leave Noa. I love him. We're so perfect together. He's what I've always wanted. I don't want to leave him, though. It's just that he's been hurt before, but I mean, so have I. But I'm not saying that I'm going to kill myself is something goes wrong. I was supposed to get married on April 9th, 2003, but my ex fiancee cheated on me one too many times. I'll explain more later. Thanks again

"I've fallen asleep, slept so sound.
Fallen so fast,
I missed the ground"
~Lil OnE~

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


4 posted 08-29-2000 10:36 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

I don't have all of the facts, story, or history to this, but on the surface it indeed looks as if your friend has a problem with self-esteem and a blatant need for control.

If I had to be in your shoes [again - I was there once] I would immediately get myself to a counselor to find out if I had a problem with being in love with someone like this person.  Three months is not near long enough, at your age, to know whether or not this is "true love" or "the one and only"...

although it may feel like it...

but no one should ever, ever put guilt into a relationship like this young man has done.

You'll be in my prayers.
 
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