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A question about "soul mates"?
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A question about "soul mates"? |
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White Wolf Member
since 1999-09-18
Posts 371Somewhere in the vast wasteland |
I have read the responses to the other post on this subject and thought I would post this question here as to not to deviate the line of responses to the other post. So here is the question. What if you have found your soul mate but you let her go and now try as you might you feel that you may have lost her forever. Have I made a mistake in doing this? What do I do if she marries someone else? I really don't know. It will be four years this fall since I let her go and about ten years since I knew she is my soulmate. The White Wolf Would the bunny like this nice carrot? I don't bite. Much. :) |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Have you married? |
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White Wolf Member
since 1999-09-18
Posts 371Somewhere in the vast wasteland |
I am unmarried. My soul mate lingers in my mind and is forever apart of my heart. How can I give my heart to another knowing that I can only give her part of my heart? I have tried to date or go steady or be committed or whichever term is now used three time in the past four years. It hasn't been fair to them but I just can't purge myself of her and her presence. The White Wolf Would the bunny like this nice carrot? I don't bite. Much. :) |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
What's keeping you from contacting her and telling her this, then? Karilea When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ |
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White Wolf Member
since 1999-09-18
Posts 371Somewhere in the vast wasteland |
I have in the past and all I get from her is that I should just "get over it". I know she has felt what I have but I fear she may go to her grave before she admits it. She has told me several times to go after my dreams and to follow my heart. That is what makes this confusing. She tells me to get over it and yet she still tells me to go after my dreams and follow my heart. They all lead to her. I don't know if she sees that or not. I know almost everything about her and yet at the same time I know almost nothing. I don't know if that made since or not but here is another piece. I dated her for two months. I knew she was my soul mate for about six years before that. Just before I saw her, for the first time, my heart jumped and an undescribable feeling passed though my body. Something told me that it was important that I look to the door. The door opened and our eyes met the feel increased ten fold and I knew she was the one. When we were dating, when we would hold hands or hug I couldn't tell where I ended and she began. I felt as if I could control time itself if I wanted to. After two moths something happened. I think I just got really stupid or something but we were about to cross the lines we had set forth for our dating relationship and I got scared of hurting her if we crossed them so I broke it off. We remain good friends to this day but all of those feelings that I have for her are locked tightly away only to resurface in my dreams. It is difficult to be with someone else when I have dreams about her. OMG I am rambling nonsence again. Sorry about that. Anyway if I have confused anyone let me know I I will try to clarify it for you. The White Wolf Would the bunny like this nice carrot? I don't bite. Much. :) |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Wolf, if I may sound so presumptuous, you sound as if you could be "young" [well, at least younger than me...] so before you [we] jump into anything, tell me this. What could she be questioning about the relationship? What you do for a living? What are her goals? Are they compatible with yours? You can start with this line of self-questioning and do the pro/con thing on a piece of paper... or a computer screen... but could it be perhaps, that you are both still young enough to "not know" which of course gets us back to the beginning of the whole post... so while I haven't answered any real questions with real answers, do you have some new starting points in which to re-evaluate this whole relationship? I'll check in tomorrow... Karilea When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ |
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White Wolf Member
since 1999-09-18
Posts 371Somewhere in the vast wasteland |
As far as soul mates are concerned, age is not factor. It is just something you know. You may think I am romanticizing the details I stated earlier but if you can't believe them, it isn't my problem. As to what you say I should do, I have done them several times and each time I do the pros/cons list about anything that has to do with her I can't come up with one con. I really wish I had made this whole thing up. As to the last thing, when you think about it there is no way back the beginning. Such is life. The White Wolf |
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Dawn Eclipse Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637The Horsehead Nebula |
Whitewolf~ I almost hate to interupt the conversation you and Sunshine are having... but I'd like to throw my two cents into this problem. First off.. I don't know if you covered this and I missed it or not... but is she seeing anybody right now? It's a painful thing to lose someone you care that deeply about. This much I know from personal experience. Have you thought about it for a long time, or has it just surfaced in you now? I think that if she means as much to you as you say she does, you should try to confront her and say what you mean... explain it to her... often face to face works the best. Let me know if I make any sense, or how your situation ends up. If you need to talk, my email is in my profile. Godbless. "Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other course, no other way... No day but today" ~Broadway Musical RENT~ *Cassandra Roseen* |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
WhiteWolf - my reference to age is: are you 20, or 40? If you are both single, and free, and you know it is right, then you should consider pursuing her. Is she 20, or 40? If you are both young, perhaps, she is only a glimmer of what a true soulmate should/could be. I am glad to hear that you did the pro/con list. That shows not only have you invested your time and heart, but your mind as well. But after all of this, and she hasn't/won't realize your true feelings, then perhaps it is time to cast your eyes elsewhere, for someone is looking for one just like you! I wish you the best, my friend. |
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White Wolf Member
since 1999-09-18
Posts 371Somewhere in the vast wasteland |
Sunshine- I have a little question for you. Have you found your soul mate? If you have, have you ever let that person go? If you have, what kind of feelings still lingered after that? Next, I have focused my eyes elsewhere but my heart will not change no matter how much I try or don't try. Many people have told me to just forget about her and go on and beleive me I have tried and ended up in some of the worst depressive states in my life. As to persuing her, what does that entail? I have used every means available to me and still haven't been successful. You wish me luck when what I need is a miracle, either way that it is to go and I am all out of those at the moment. The one thing I have concluded is that only time will tell. But perhaps I was hope that I would meet someone who could actually help me instead of just offer speculation. Dawn Eclipse- I think I will take you up on that email offer of your's, if it is still good. The White Wolf Would the bunny like this nice carrot? I don't bite. Much. :) |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
WW, I'm not being flip with you, I hope you know that. I guess I'm going back to the old adage of either "fish or cut bait". You sound as if you've done everything you could, from a valiant standpoint, to win her over. I just feel sorry that you cannot win over the girl. Have I had/do I have a soulmate? No. I have a kind, dear, sweet, friend whom I would like to have as my soulmate, but alas, something IS lacking. But not enough at this time in my life to trash what I have to look for it. I don't think that all people are going to be as fortunate as some I've known to indeed find their soul mate. However, it is something that I do wish everyone could experience, at least once. And I am sorry that I cannot offer help. First, I don't have all of the facts from both sides, which would help me to formulate an opinion. From what you say, you've done everything you know to do. So, instead of wishing you luck, I will hope for you a miracle. I sincerely mean that. God Bless. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
WW - Hey there... jumping in 'cause I have a hard time ever being quiet!  Soulmates... yeah.. might be I know something about it... and something about letting them (her) go... My dinero - DON'T forget/try to forget about her. If she truly is your soulmate, then it won't work anyway. If you can foget about her, then she wasn't. As much as I hate the idea of any kind of pre-ordained fate, I'm of the belief that if you truly are soulmates... then you will be together. Not necessarily today, or even tomorrow. But this doesn't mean you should stop your life because of that either. If it is meant to be, it will be no matter what course you choose in life. And just because you love someone, doesn't mean you can't also love another. There is room in our hearts for more than one. Peace, Christopher K. - What you do for a living? And this little bit of shallow materialism has what to do with soulmates?  |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Here is what you do. Wake up each and every morning and wish she were there. Miss her all day. Go to bed alone. |
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sonjes Senior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 564North Carolina |
wise words from Prometheus...don't dwell...I believe that we only have the tiniest control over our own lives, go with the natural flow of things or spend a lifetime not experiencing life... Life will throw a curveball at you when you least expect it...stop expecting!!!! Don't care what people say Just follow your own way Don't give up and use the chance To return to innocence. -Enigma |
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Dawn Eclipse Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637The Horsehead Nebula |
Yes White Wolf. The offer still stands. I'll email you. "Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other course, no other way... No day but today" ~Broadway Musical RENT~ *Cassandra Roseen* |
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White Wolf Member
since 1999-09-18
Posts 371Somewhere in the vast wasteland |
Thank you all for your comments and suggestions. They have been most helpful. And as to Mr. Prometheus I have a few questions. First off, do you understand the concept of soul mates? Next have you met your soul mate? And lastly, if you have met your soul mate, can you get your soul mate off of your mind when you are apart? Once again thank you for all of your responces, I really didn't expect so many. The White Wolf Would the bunny like this nice carrot? I don't bite. Much. :) |
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Honey Bunch Member
since 2000-08-08
Posts 99South Africa |
White Wolf, I'm sorry to come in here so late in the discussion but I'm a new poster and this is my first look into "feelings". I do know exactly how you feel for I too believed I had found my soul mate to the rather extreme extent of being able to "experience" him when apart. I have been in the depths of depression with longing and my previous perception of a broken heart has fallen so very far short of what I've actually experienced. We are unable to be together...I'm married and unable to be intimate with my husband so I understand fully how you feel when with other women. No, you cannot stop thinking about her - goodness knows I haven't been able to - but out of all the replies here I think the most relevant one (can't remember who from) was the one that said to...not exactly...but basically to carry on living and if you are truly meant to be together, you will be. I'm going to keep that bit of advice for myself. It seems that my soul mate has turned away from me too but eventually one must surface from the pain and heartache with a bit of faith in destiny, God, the Universe or whatever. All the writing I do is as a result of his love and a lot of it is in the knowledge that we will be together either in this world or the next...I would go crazy if I didn't believe that. However, I have found myself turning more towards a love of God and maybe that is the ultimate goal of the whole experience. I don't know. You have my sympathy for I know how hard it is to cope with and my very best wishes for your future life. Guess I haven't been much help other than to say "I know how you feel". |
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White Wolf Member
since 1999-09-18
Posts 371Somewhere in the vast wasteland |
Honey Bunch- Actually it help alot. It really helps to know that I am not the only one who has this problem. I don't feel so alone. Not to say that I would wish this pain on anyone else, just to make myself feel better. And, by the way, I tend to say and believe that it is better to be late than never. I hope we can talk again about this. You can email me if you like or I can email you. Thanks bunches. The White Wolf Would the bunny like this nice carrot? I don't bite. Much. :) |
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Trew Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Ottawa, Canada |
White Wolf, A few humble comments... First, the term 'soul mate' is very difficult to define. Each of us would have a somewhat different perspective, I'm sure. Now, having said that, let me tell you a tale. About ten years ago, I fell in love with someone I knew was my soul mate. In time, however, she grew weary of me and the relationship came to a close. There were many causes; far too many to discuss here. Suffice it to say, I was heartbroken. Try as I might, I simply could not convince her that we were meant to be together. It was a long time before I could accept what had happened and get on with my life. Now, some ten years later, she and I are truly incredible friends. Each with our own life, but now able to share them with each other. I have found my true soul mate and she, hers. You see, although I did not consider myself young in life, I see now that I was young in wisdom and perhaps in judgement. Had I known then what I know now, I would have seen that true soul mates would know when they had found each other. There is no questioning, no convincing, involved. I do empathize with your situation and I wish you all of the best. Perhaps time will reunite the two of you. If not in love, then in life. |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
IMHO there could be many different possibilities for "soul mates". There is not just one. There are millions of people on this planet. Within those millions there are a matrix of combinations.... many different woman could be "right", a good match, a "soul mate", if you will, for a man. Many different men could be a "soul mate" for a woman. After exhausting all resources to try to make the match with the person one has found to be a "soul mate".... move on... look elsewhere... trust me, there are others. To continue to dwell on it and to let the thoughts of the separation from this other person obsess your daily life, is not fair to yourself. By doing so, you may just miss the potential "soul mate" who lives across the street from you or works with you or... oh i don't know... there are simply hundreds of thousands of possibilities. There is no "prince charming", gals. There is no "cinderella", guys. Nope... BUT instead, there are hundreds of thousands of prince charmings and hundreds of thousands of cinderellas.... life is so very full of combinations and possibilities that to linger on only one is selling yourself short... and you might just miss it when it's right in front of you. well, that's my take on it, and i'm sticking to it... back to my garden and mulch... there is a real world out there.. hehe... just stopping in for a minute or two.... |
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