Just recently someone brought something to my attention, something that I had written which offended someone (isn't that a novel idea for me?). Anyhoo... this started me to thinking about what I write and how I write it and how it may affect others (36 and I am just now begining to think about stuff like this! I may be slow, but I do poor work).
I have spent a lot of time telling myself that life is too short (especially mine I suppose ) to waste time by not being honest and telling people what I think or feel. However, I didn't spend that time thinking about the brutality of my approach to honesty. I do not intend to hurt, nor cause emotional distress, but I often have not considered how I present myself in my honesty. (My goodness, who needs counseling when we have this forum?)
Anyway, here is the subject that brought all this on, my reply to a post, after reading a myriad of other responses:
5 posted 06-14-2000 11:44 AM
Hang in their, it will get better.
I know exactly how you feel.
I've been their girlfriend!
Pish Posh! Rubbish all... I do not know exactly how
you feel, I have not been there, and I don't know you
well enough to know if you are writing of yourself, or
I do know that I have felt similarly in my life, and
that your writing depicted that state quite clearly
I like what you have done, it touches my heart and I
enjoyed the read. Please keep more coming for us to
And yes... for all those who have taken offense at
this reply; I was being sarcastic (and snotty) for a
reason, although I will leave it to you to understand.
It was shown to me that my meaning was not clear, and my manner was brusk, to say the least. This is what I meant by this response (and more groveling will follow):
That response was an effort to show people that they DO NOT know exactly how I, or anyone else feels. To me that demeans the emotions of others. You feel how you feel for the reasons you have, and for me to say I know 'exactly' how you feel, steals the power of your emotions and makes you less than you are. That is how I feel about it anyway.
I may have had similar circumstances as you, I may feel similar feelings as you, but your feelings are yours, mine are mine, and they are unique to each of us. That is their power for us and no one has a right to usurp that power.
Okay, that said, let me move on. It has never been, nor will it ever be my intent to hurt someone's feelings. I am not built in such a fashion that I can take pleasure in the suffering of others, nor feel pleasure in my infliction of that suffering. That I have done that causes me great shame. Will I change my ways? Probably, but only to the extent that if I don't have anything nice to say, I will try to say it as pleasantly as possible
So anyway... I suppose this is one more installment of my ongoing self-therapy. Who knows? Soon I may have healed all my internal wounds and not be able to write poetry anymore!
Peace and long life.
Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
"Everything is your own damn fault, if you are any good." E. Hemmingway