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Making amends...
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Making amends... |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA 
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Just recently someone brought something to my attention, something that I had written which offended someone (isn't that a novel idea for me?). Anyhoo... this started me to thinking about what I write and how I write it and how it may affect others (36 and I am just now begining to think about stuff like this! I may be slow, but I do poor work). I have spent a lot of time telling myself that life is too short (especially mine I suppose  ) to waste time by not being honest and telling people what I think or feel. However, I didn't spend that time thinking about the brutality of my approach to honesty. I do not intend to hurt, nor cause emotional distress, but I often have not considered how I present myself in my honesty. (My goodness, who needs counseling when we have this forum?)Anyway, here is the subject that brought all this on, my reply to a post, after reading a myriad of other responses: JP Senior Member since 05-25-99 Posts 613 Newsletter Staff 5 posted 06-14-2000 11:44 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hang in their, it will get better. I know exactly how you feel. I've been their girlfriend! Pish Posh! Rubbish all... I do not know exactly how you feel, I have not been there, and I don't know you well enough to know if you are writing of yourself, or just writing. I do know that I have felt similarly in my life, and that your writing depicted that state quite clearly and eloquently. I like what you have done, it touches my heart and I enjoyed the read. Please keep more coming for us to enjoy And yes... for all those who have taken offense at this reply; I was being sarcastic (and snotty) for a reason, although I will leave it to you to understand. It was shown to me that my meaning was not clear, and my manner was brusk, to say the least. This is what I meant by this response (and more groveling will follow): That response was an effort to show people that they DO NOT know exactly how I, or anyone else feels. To me that demeans the emotions of others. You feel how you feel for the reasons you have, and for me to say I know 'exactly' how you feel, steals the power of your emotions and makes you less than you are. That is how I feel about it anyway. I may have had similar circumstances as you, I may feel similar feelings as you, but your feelings are yours, mine are mine, and they are unique to each of us. That is their power for us and no one has a right to usurp that power. Okay, that said, let me move on. It has never been, nor will it ever be my intent to hurt someone's feelings. I am not built in such a fashion that I can take pleasure in the suffering of others, nor feel pleasure in my infliction of that suffering. That I have done that causes me great shame. Will I change my ways? Probably, but only to the extent that if I don't have anything nice to say, I will try to say it as pleasantly as possible  So anyway... I suppose this is one more installment of my ongoing self-therapy. Who knows? Soon I may have healed all my internal wounds and not be able to write poetry anymore! Peace and long life.  Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. JP "Everything is your own damn fault, if you are any good." E. Hemmingway |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
JP - Anyone who's known you for awhile, probably understands "from whence you come"... The rest, no doubt, are learning pretty darned quickly. I enjoy your candid approach, and hope that you leave at least one small wound to fester just so that we can enjoy more of your work...  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ditto Nan. I've learned to take a whole lump of salt with some stuff I read [of others] and I've learned that before I ever reply to stuff, to read a whole bunch more before I stick my two cents [sometimes four] into the melee. I like your style! Only 36 hummmm? Sunny ~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. Helen Keller ~~~ When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
This just reaffirms my own private opinion of you JP. You may not know it or even care, but I've admired your style ever since you registered. That's not to say I agree with everything you say, but I like you and think you've always been honest and true to yourself..we should all take a lesson from you. |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
I'm smiling because what you said is so classic....when we know someone is hurting we say "we know how you feel"...i.e. we know how WE feel when we were in a similar position but of course that isn't your exact position but it's a way to say...hugs or hang in there or perhaps a little empathy....it's never meant to be doragotory or belittling but rather more along the line of compassionate....it's hard when people care so much cause all they want to do is reach out and heal the wounds...and we all know that can't be done, wounds heal from within and need air to let them breathe as well....please don't pounce on those that aim to do that in their kindly way and yep, I know I haven't a clue about who you're talking about but it is so damned easy to hurt someone when their only wish was to make you feel better...human nature I guess... Take care of you HUGS |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
Rainbow Girl, I was reading your reply and couldn't help wondering why... oh nevermind. |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Couldn't help wondering?????????...I'm all ears...LOL HUGS |
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