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Passions in Poetry

not a poem, rather a confession

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since 02-15-2000
Posts 467
Denver, CO

0 posted 05-17-2000 01:32 PM       View Profile for blackhalo   Email blackhalo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit blackhalo's Home Page   View IP for blackhalo

I feel so close to all of you, I feel like revealing my life to y'all.  I have lost 7 friends to suicide, when I was 14, I was raped,I feel that my complete and total life has been a joke.  I was never at a point where I felt like life was worth what it should have been to me.  My parents smoked pot up until I was 7 years old.  When my older sister was 15, she quit school, ran away from home, and became wanted by the federal law.  To say the least, my life is pretty much screwed up.  I felt that I could tell you this because I found you all to be people I could trust with everything, and I am completely and totally lost.  I have no where to turn, and lately I have been considering some very drastic measures.  I really need some support, if anyone has any idea what I should do, please reply.  I love y'all.
Alicia A. Renzelman
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002

1 posted 05-17-2000 01:56 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Alicia, check out the sites in this link. If you are feeling lost and confused and having 'drastic' thoughts, professional counseling is the best advice that anyone can give to you. Please check out these sites and talk to somebody at one of them. You also have many friends here who truly care about you, so please let them encourage you but also the most important thing anyone can encourage you in is seeking professional counseling.

As this is not a poem, I have to move this to the Feelings Forum where anyone wishing to offer advice may do so there.
Junior Member
since 04-29-2000
Posts 36
Mays Landing

2 posted 05-17-2000 04:44 PM       View Profile for Casonova   Email Casonova   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Casonova

Hey Alicia, this is sad, I hate to see poeople in this position, because I have been there several times, And I know how it is. But each time I had to look around me to find somthing worth living for, And I am glad to say that so far every time I have found someone or somthing to make it one more day, there has always been somthing, and most of the time it has been a friend of some sort, that was there to comfort me, and to give me advice. And so I believe that that  is one of the best things you could have is a friend to be there and fight with you. So If you will allow me to I would love to be a friend for you, and help you along as so many have done for me.. well my address is If you want to get ahold of me, until then take care of yourself...  

          From the bottom of my heart !!!


P.S. I ment EVRERY single word I said, they are not there just to look cute.
Senior Member
since 01-25-2000
Posts 822
st. petersburg, FL

3 posted 05-17-2000 07:15 PM       View Profile for childomine   Email childomine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for childomine

Alicia - girl do I know how you feel.  I have struggled with depression all of my life and wanted badly to escape where I came from.  I was sexually abused by my stepfather beginning at about 7 years old.  I have come a long way in the past 3 years, have found a peace that I knew existed but believed it existed only for others.  I'd like to recommend a site to visit.  It is a secure site so you will have to tell them of your depression (not the reasons unless you want to) before they will accept you.  They have been like a family to me.  The creator of the site is in the same shoes so she can relate.  In the meantime - talk to those you trust.  Keep a journal - write, write and write some more.  Force yourself (and I know it is hard) to do things.  Go for a walk, read, write, paint (I paint by number   ).  Find a counselor and get on some medication.  I'm here if you need to talk -  Good luck to you and - I'm proud of you for reaching out.

[This message has been edited by childomine (edited 05-18-2000).]
Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 04-13-2000
Posts 1486
New Zealand

4 posted 05-18-2000 01:34 AM       View Profile for Yu Lan   Email Yu Lan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Yu Lan

Hi, Alicia..

I'm sorry that these things happened to u.. I'm sorry that these things happen to ANYONE.. it is hard for me to empathise with you, as I have not had these experiences.. but please, don't take action on any of your drastic ideas, none of us here would like for anything to happen to you, u r a very special person..
I wrote a poem, today in History class.. I have not finished editing it, so it is not as strong, as I would like it to be yet, but I will post it for u anyway, and i hope it still illustrates the point I was making.. I wrote it for a depressed friend.. who felt like she had had about enough of all the umm.. excrement life was handing out.. please read it.. in the Corner Pub forum, entitled "no-name.. posted for Alicia A. R."

Hugzzz.. if ya ever want someone to talk to, i will always be here for ya, Alicia.. just give me a yell, k?
( )

since 04-12-2000
Posts 116
wisconsin, u.s.a.

5 posted 05-18-2000 08:38 PM       View Profile for sKiTtLeS   Email sKiTtLeS   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sKiTtLeS

Dear Alicia,
I would hate to sit here and just repeat all that has been said above, but these people know what they're talking about! What you need to feel better are friends: the most important people in your life... And seeking professional help, whether by internet, phone, or counseling sessions isn't a bad idea either. But the important thing is to find someone who will listen and possibly relate. I know for a fact that there are people out there with similar problems, who are looking for someone to talk to, somewhere to try their best to find any source of help before getting "drastic". And that's the *very* last thing that we want to happen to a wonderful person such as yourself. You don't need to give up all hope, dear, simply look hard, look upside down, look backwards and cross-eyed if it helps! But if you just *look* inside, at your wonderful qualities and the wonderful things that are waiting for you in the'll find your way out. I've been there and back. And when I think I'm headed nowhere, I sit down, have a nice cry, and then try to find a bright side. I believe that there is a brighter side to everything, if you honestly look for it. I don't know what else to tell you right now, but if you want to talk, e-mail me, I'll be there to listen. That's what friends are for.

God's Peace~
Brighton Zynda aka sKiTtLeS
( )

[This message has been edited by sKiTtLeS (edited 05-18-2000).]
JOY 14
Senior Member
since 09-22-1999
Posts 1447
Wisconsin USA

6 posted 05-19-2000 02:28 PM       View Profile for JOY 14   Email JOY 14   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JOY 14's Home Page   View IP for JOY 14

Hi Alicia-
I agree with what everyone has already said.  I just have something to add.  I know feelings of depression and even brief thougts of suicide.  And, even though we don't know eachother well, please e-mail me if you'd like. (  Sometimes all we need is a friend.  And it sounds like from all the responces, you have some here, me included.  I'll be just a click away, okay? SMILES!  


 Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old time is still a-flying,
And this same flower that smiles today
To-morrow will be dying.

-Robert Herrick

[This message has been edited by JOY 14 (edited 05-19-2000).]
Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 01-15-2000
Posts 2072
Tulsa, OK

7 posted 05-19-2000 03:53 PM       View Profile for Danny Holloway   Email Danny Holloway   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Danny Holloway

I do not have any additional advice from what has already been given to you.  I would just say that, everything changes, your life will not always be as it is now.  There is a happy future for you, though you may not believe that now.  I might suggest that you become involved in a church, if you haven't already.  Faith in yourself and God may be the best thing for you at this point.
Hope this is helpful, and that you get beyond this down time in your life.  My
e-mail is in my profile if you want to write.
Take care.....

 A life isn't significant except for its impact on other lives.

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