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lost soul
Junior Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 20


0 posted 2000-04-30 11:46 PM


I go through life feeling like ****,
I feel like god made a mistake by putting me on this earth,
I feel ugly,fat, and so damb dumb
I cant even look at myself in the mirror without wanting to breakdown and cry,
I just want to end my worthless life,
Who can ever love me, when I look like this,
Why god,why? why am I alive,
I dont deserve to be,
And I know people who agree, who agree with me.



 

© Copyright 2000 lost soul - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2000-05-01 01:51 AM


Sweetheart--the first thing you have to do is lose those people that agree with you--retrain your brain--don't let these thoughts linger--they are cancer to your soul...love, love, love, and it comes back magnified--if you are too depressed to believe this, try it...even if it's just an experiment...one week, one day, one hour, one minute if it's all you can manage...let me know what happens....
StarrGazer
Senior Member
since 2000-03-05
Posts 679
Texas
2 posted 2000-05-01 09:45 AM


Lost Soul,
     First of all there is always a meaning to life, no matter how often it gets twisted and contorted and no matter how much life seems to beat us down at times it's not easy but you have to search for that meaning and if you search hard enough you will find it. Secondly,I think you are being way too hard on yourself instead of listing things you do not like about yourself perhaps try listing things that you are good at  or that you do well. As for the other people... don't base your views of yourself on what others percieve I think we first  have to accept ourselves for who we are and take the opinions of others very lightly, and end up saying in an essence, I don't care what others think of me I'm me and thats that (which I will not lie is sometimes a very hard thing to do) I hope that thigs start looking up for you and if you ever need to talk feel free to email me SpoiltBrat1@icqmail.com I have a quite long history of depression, and I know sometimes it helps just to talk and get all of your feelings out there, so if you don't feel comfortable in  emailing a virtual stranger, perhaps talk to a good friend or family member about how you are feeling and what you can do to make yourself feel better, and if all else fails, you may want to see a doctor depression is treatable and you may need some medications to stabilize your system and help you deal with the feelings you are having ... hope this helps you ((((((((hugzzzz)))))))))

 Mystical being
which makes ink flow
Surround me in
your incandescent glow
Fill my brain with
thoughts and rhyme
As I try to capture
but a moment in time
~Shan~


WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
3 posted 2000-05-02 11:14 PM


Oh sweetheart, there is one who loves you no matter what! God loves you always, so much more than you could possibly imagine! You have a great purpose here...everyone has a reason for being here.  Please don't give that up! You are a wonderful, loving human being.

Know within your heart God has a purpose for you and it don't matter what others think. God sees what's in the heart and that is how He measures a person.  Know you are loved beyond what you could ever comprehend!

I shall keep you in my prayers! If you'd like to talk please feel free to email me anytime! WhtDove377@aol.com

amazon_lover
Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491
Dublin,Ireland
4 posted 2000-05-05 07:53 PM


Hi!
I have gone through this. I have gone through the feelings like I'm not smart,not handsome,very dumb,can't speak freely with the opposite sex, can't speak the flowery language of love etc and you name it,I have one.
Ultimately what matters,You live! So why not live each day cheerfully and have a happy tomorrow. What's bad if others look down upon you as fat or dumb ? Lets love ourself as we're a gift from god and we exist.
There is no better yardstick that can measure your happiness than your heart. Contentment in heart is what one should aim for. Good luc. Conquer yourself as my friend always says.

Sincerely
A_L

X Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521
Oregon
5 posted 2000-05-06 02:09 PM


I am reading a book called "Self-Assertion for Women" by Pamela Butler, PhD., I just ordered it off of http://www.amazon.com it cost 15.99 including shipping. I am at chapter 7 and am already finding myself enlightened, enriched and just BETTER. My advice to YOU is to spend the $ and get the book. It's wonderful. I am reading on the recommendation of a licensed counselor who deals with women's issues etc..
Good Luck
~X~

 "Our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything."
--William Shakespeare


Forrest Cain
Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306
Chas.,W.V. USA
6 posted 2000-05-07 01:54 AM


My friend you sound very depressed. Almost clinically depressed. St. Johnswort might
help. Also daily exersize helps restore
chemical balance. As for self esteem you
are who you are. Get to know that person.
Remember their are things on this earth
only you can do. And lastly your life is
not your own it belongs to those who love
you and to those you love. Please be
strong and keep putting your pain on paper.
Even though we`ve never met I tell you
now I care about you. When I`m in pain
I try to give to someone else. That giving
can be a smile or a I`m sorry that must be hard for you. If you ever feel like you might
want to hurt yourself get help. But I
promise  you this somewhere sometime somehow
someone`s going to need you desperatly
and if your not here then what . Not
to be preaching but this will pass be
stronger than your pain.
St johns wort is over the counter and fairly cheap. If that doesn`t work maybe I can refer
you to a specialist for paxil. Or if
bychance your from W.V. I`ll do it myself.

Godbless you and love
forrest cain RNCNN

forrest

[This message has been edited by Forrest Cain (edited 05-07-2000).]

blackhalo
Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467
Denver, CO
7 posted 2000-05-08 01:56 PM


I have definatly been there and done that!  Belive me, suicide IS NOT the way.  There are so many ways of getting over your feelings of hopelessness.  The first is recognising that you have a problem with your self-esteem.  You ARE worth more than something to the people around you.  And those who tell you different aren't worth your precious time and effort.  Find someone you can trust with anything and everything, that won't let you down, or tell you that you're not worth ****.  Tell that person how you feel, and allow them to give you  advice and inform you about your problem.  If all else fails, you will always have us here at the forums.  And, you always have me, someone who has been there and knows exactly where you are coming from and how to deal with it.  E-mail me.

 Life defines no more than what it is you ask for.
April 20, 2000
Alicia A. Renzelman

Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
8 posted 2000-05-08 09:01 PM


Oh hon, I am so sorry to see you so down and feeling this way.
We all have a reason to live, sometimes it is not revealed to us when we are young, but it does happen for us all i assure you.
You do sound so depressed, St.John's Wart is a good natural medication you could try, and if you still feel no better, perhaps some anti depressant are in order, until you feel yourself again.
As for weight problems, start exercising slowly just a 30 minute walk a day is a good start and it clears the cobwebs from head, heart and soul.
As you can see from the responses there are plenty of us who have felt this way and no what you are going through.  Having stumbled into passions was a wise move, you are not alone.  You can email myself or any of the above who offered.
Surround yourself with positives good music and GOOD friends, lose the ones, who call you a loser, for they are not true friends at all.  Start rebuilding, for now is not the time to give up, you are at the dawning of your life the good times are still to come.
*hugs* email me anytime hon.

 A heart and soul are not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others...
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)



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