Amherst, MA, USA
at what point is a child separate from her parents? surely it is a different age for everyone. but at what point is it ok to think for yourself? i mean, legally, it's once you are 18, but that is simply a chosen point so there is no arguement over it when a child/teenager feels they can make their own decisions and a parent does not. it's so that children can grow up safely so they don't go off running amuck every night or anything.
but my parents and i disagree about how people should act, not things about safety. they say things i do and say are rude or embarrassing, and that everything i do reflects on them as parents. for example, i was at the doctor's office with my mom the other day, and i hadn't had her come with me to the doctor for a long time, so i hadn't noticed before that this particular doctor (a pediatric orthopedist) talked to HER practically the whole time, saying "she needs to..." etc. Like I wasn't even there. Even when I asked questions he answered to HER! So finally I said "Hi, it's my arm, not hers." He apologized and continued talking, making visible effort to include me in the discussion. But my mom was mad at me for the rest of the day, saying that was extremely rude.
Now, maybe it was rude. I'm sure some of you reading this would say that it was, but that is not the point of the example. I feel that I am mature enough to decide for myself how to speak and interact with people. She has taught me well, but isn't there a time when I should review those teachings and fit them to myself? And when is that time?
[This message has been edited by 7 (edited 04-30-2000).]