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Feelings
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7
Member
since 2000-04-26
Posts 113
Amherst, MA, USA

0 posted 2000-04-28 11:34 PM


I just spent the evening with my two best friends. We went to the mall, shopped for prom dresses, got ice cream, basically had a blast. Then we came back to my house, and they were going to sleep over. Then they started whispering about something, and when they saw that I was confused they said it was something very personal that they couldn't share with anyone. Logically, I understand this. I've had things like that that I've kept from one of them. But I was deeply hurt, perhaps more so than makes sense for such a small occurence. Then they informed me that they would rather sleep at one of their houses, and didn't give me an explanation other than "My mom usually assumes I'm at her house." They invited me to come but I declined, partly wanting them to insist and partly knowing I'd be too uncomfortable anyways. Suddenly I just couldn't function normally anymore. I was on the verge of tears for the last ten minutes they were there, and they didn't notice. I didn't really want them to do anything about it, but I found myself getting angry at them for not noticing, and my anger made me even more depressed but I didn't say a single word. How would I explain anyways? "You won't tell me your secret and now you don't even care that I'm upset"? Pathetically irrational and whiny. If someone said that to me I'd be annoyed.

My point is, this one little secret has gotten me so worked up that I can't even stop crying as I'm typing this, even though I'm almost positive it has absolutely nothing to do with me. Why should I feel so alone, so unloved? Something else must be bothering me, right? But what?

7

© Copyright 2000 Paula - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
1 posted 2000-04-28 11:46 PM


7 this happens to us old codgers too!!! I think you were having such a good time, bonding with your friends as you shopped then when they had a secret that you didn't share, you felt left out. Perfectly normal! If you were uncomfortable with your friends, you were right to stay home..but then, maybe they didn't know you were upset. Not everyone is sensitive...we poets seem to be more so lately!!
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