Amherst, MA, USA
"How is it that so many people go through the same thing year after year? Everybody has to go through getting their first love...then losing their first love. It's great and then it's a pain. So why do generation after generation go through it?" pleaded ESP.
You really have to know pain in order to know pleasure. Of course, that can be a chicken/egg debate (is a baby's first thought one of pain or one of pleasure?) but what I mean is that it's a cycle. You love and you lose... but then you love again. I'm sure that's all been said though.
I'm seventeen as well, and I had never had a boyfriend until this year. Now I've had three "official" boyfriends and a few random hook-ups (which got me absolutely NOWHERE), and while I haven't found true love I have learned a great deal. The relationship process is intriguing... you meet... someone feels something... one/both try to figure out how the other feels... there may be a chase... someone may be "hard to get"... then something happens and you're "together"... then more stuff happens, you might go through all that "does he love me?" stuff or the cute puppy love stuff... then one/both likes someone else or just starts not to like the other person anymore... then there's a breakup, which sucks... then there's a closure period... then, eventually, the cycle begins again, with someone else.
Or, the breaking up part never happens and you get married and have two and a half kids and a picket fence. But more often than not, it ends with a breakup.
My point is that each relationship is a lesson, a "practice," if I may, for your true love. For example, because I'd never gone through it before, it was very difficult for me to build my first relationship because I was so nervous and unsure. But the second time I was more confident, because I'd gone through it before... "you live, you learn" they say.
I feel almost like I'm talking to myself, but before I had ever had a relationship. I wish I could tell my last-year self that I have nothing to fear, that it's not that I'm unattractive or pathetic but simply that I'm not ready. Just because you're the "right" age to start dating doesn't mean you're necesarily ready. And not being ready doesn't make you immature. It just makes you you.
And, if I were talking to my last-year self, I wouldn't believe my this-year self because you can't really know without going through it. I don't mean you know nothing... damn, I'm really digging myself a hole here. I hope you know what I mean, and I hope you figure out "why."