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Passions in Poetry

Confused, and stuck in a messy situation

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SweetAznAngel
Junior Member
since 04-04-2000
Posts 13
Boston, Mass. USA


0 posted 04-04-2000 07:08 PM       View Profile for SweetAznAngel   Email SweetAznAngel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SweetAznAngel

What does a person do in order to help her suicidal friend? My best friend of 11 years tried to kill herself. Her family (including her) acts if it was no big deal. She's getting counceling right now, but she still hasn't changed a bit. She's always against everyone for no reason. I try to talk to her but she gets mad at me. I mean, i love her and she's my friend and everything, but she keeps pushing everyone away (including me). Anyone got any suggestions?

Witch's Brat
Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 103


1 posted 04-04-2000 10:01 PM       View Profile for Witch's Brat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Witch's Brat

This is a tough one! I think you should talk to someone like a one of your teachers, the school counselor...someone like that. Also, I'm shocked that her family doesn't seem to care.

I know a girl who used to cut herself, and luckily she was able to stop, but only after one of her friends said to her they couldn't see each other anymore because of the cutting. That was what it took to get her to stop. Good luck...I'll be thinking about you.

Witch's Brat


 I am a disturbed person, and I write about disturbed people. ~Tennessee Williams
SweetAznAngel
Junior Member
since 04-04-2000
Posts 13
Boston, Mass. USA


2 posted 04-04-2000 10:20 PM       View Profile for SweetAznAngel   Email SweetAznAngel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SweetAznAngel

Hi Witch Brat,
Thanks so much for replying to my post. Well her family and her make it seem like it's "not a big deal" that's what they keep telling me when i ask her if she's ok. She's lost so many friends over a span of just a year. She keeps telling me that she knows that she treats everyone like "*#^$", but i know for a fact that she's not going to change for anyone. Right now she's still an honor student in school, but she's been lying to her parents, sneeking out, and getting sexually active. I don't even know what to say to her anymore. I've tried to talk some sense into her, but all she'll do is get mad. My whole situation with her is really complex and hard to explain, but that's about it right there in a nutshell. So if anyone else has any suggestions, please just post a reply. Thanks.
Marina
Member Elite
since 02-10-2000
Posts 2267
Pickering, Ontario


4 posted 04-05-2000 12:47 AM       View Profile for Marina   Email Marina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marina

A suicide attempt is a huge cry for help.  She herself may not realize how deep her depression runs.  She needs to stay in therapy and so do her parents. If they feel this is no big deal then they are not dealing with reality.  Often people downplay this sort of situation because either they have guilt or they simply don't know how to deal with it.  Your friend needs you more then ever.  Be patient with her and just be there when you can.  Someone should also try talking to her parents,for both their sakes.  Suicide is never just about the person who attempted it; it always runs deeper and with more people who know why the attempt was made or perhaps should have.  This does not mean blame needs to be put on anyone, it just means communication is the key.


Marina
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


5 posted 04-05-2000 07:11 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Marina is right.  Heed her well...  This girl really needs supportive friends.  Remember that a real friend is one who will be there in times of need - not just for the happy stuff.  She needs positive support and someone she can count on for strength when she seems to lose her own.  Being strong doesn't mean placating her, though.  It means being honest with her about what you see happening.  Follow Marina's advice - Problems are never solved through denial.  She's going to have to deal with her problems to overcome them.  You've taken on quite a burden here.  I wish you much luck and God's blessings...

Nancy
SweetAznAngel
Junior Member
since 04-04-2000
Posts 13
Boston, Mass. USA


6 posted 04-05-2000 05:10 PM       View Profile for SweetAznAngel   Email SweetAznAngel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SweetAznAngel

I mean, it's more than just that. I mean i am willing to help her through this all the way, but time is passing and she and I are going to go to college soon and we're both moving away. What am i suppose to do then? I can't help her forever, and i can't be there 24/7. Of course i'll be there for her right now.. but what about the future?

 *The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch, swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.*
[The essence of romanticism is the ability to wonder and to reflect. In searching the meaning of the known, the human spirit reaches for the unknown, in trying to understand the present it looks to the past and to the future.]
Marina
Member Elite
since 02-10-2000
Posts 2267
Pickering, Ontario


7 posted 04-05-2000 09:07 PM       View Profile for Marina   Email Marina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marina

What I meant by being there for her, was not in the physical means.  Even when friends live great distances apart, they are still there 24/7 for each other.  A phone call,letter, email or even just thoughts and prayers are all part of 24/7.  Just to know someone can be counted on when trouble comes regardless of distance can make all the difference in the world to someone physically and mentally.

Marina
SweetAznAngel
Junior Member
since 04-04-2000
Posts 13
Boston, Mass. USA


8 posted 04-09-2000 07:26 PM       View Profile for SweetAznAngel   Email SweetAznAngel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SweetAznAngel

Oh my gosh.. Yesterday night was horrible. Apparently my godbro (her ex), invited me and her to his birthday party. Now that would've went fine if his current girlfriend wasn't there also. They broke up a year ago, so I don't know why she was so mad. She has has 3 boyfriends after him. Well, after a while, she got mad and ran off. I ran after her but I didn't know where she went. By the time i got back to the table, she was back and she looked really upset. I asked if she was ok and she ignored me. I tried to cheer her up and everything, but nothing worked. Then, suddenly, she grabbed all her stuff and she ran out of the resturant that we were at.. so i quickly took all my stuff and ran after her. By the time I was outside, I didn't see her anywhere. I looked for her for about an hour and I gave up because it was around 11p.m. and we were in a big city. So my chances of finding her were slim. I finally took the train and walked home hoping to see her somewhere. I called her house and I got no answer. What am I suppose to do? I'm so worried.

 *The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch, swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.*
[The essence of romanticism is the ability to wonder and to reflect. In searching the meaning of the known, the human spirit reaches for the unknown, in trying to understand the present it looks to the past and to the future.]
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