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Passions in Poetry

Have you ever had that feeling........?

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danni
Senior Member
since 11-20-1999
Posts 693
wisconsin


0 posted 03-08-2000 01:37 AM       View Profile for danni   Email danni   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for danni

At the risk of sounding like a nut-case, I have a question. Which, I suppose, I am asking because I'm wondering if I'm the only one. But, to the point, ever since I can remember, I have had this intense feeling that I am going to die tragically very young. And that it's going to be in a car accident. Don't get me wrong, It's not something that is on my mind every day, or something that has controlled me. It's just a thought that has always been there. I would assume most people can look ahead and see themselves getting older and living a nice long life. But I myself have never been able to do so. I can't see myself beyond thirty-something. And it's not for fear of aging. That doesn't concern me at all. I don't know, just a thought. And I was wondering if anyone else has ever had this type of "preminision" (for lack of a better word), about their life or it's direction. So please, indulge my curiosity. It doesn't have to be about death. It's more the overwhelming feeling i'm curious about. And, has it come true for anyone?
Michael
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


1 posted 03-08-2000 02:40 AM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Danni,  

I used to have a reoccuring nightmare about dying in a car accident.  It haunted me for a long period of time.  In this dream, I was in spiritual form and I was hoovering above the scene of an acident.  My precious Firebird was neatly wrapped around a pole - there was also a blue truck nearby that had obviously smashed into me.  There was a streetlight that didn't work...and old wooden building that looked like some sort of bar...and there were two lifeless bodies in my car...one was mine, although I couldn't recognize the other.

The eerie details of this dream were so vivid that I was scared to drive, literally.  I knew I was going to die - it was just a matter of when.  

One night, purely by circumstance I ended up giving another man a ride home.  I had just met him - and his part of town wasn't too far out of my way, although I had never been on the exact street he lived on.

It was raining and very dark when the man told me to turn at the next street.  I almost didn't see the street because the streetlight was burned out, should have caught that as a warning but I was very tired and never put two and two together till awhile later.  

I woke up some time later in a pool of blood.  There was a man sitting next to me asking me if I was O.K.  He, too, was covered with blood and I had no clue who he even was.  I looked around, my car was wrecked - I recognized the poll it was up against.  I recognized the building.  Alas, I was dreaming again I thought.  But it was different this time.

I heard horrible screaming.  I looked in that direction and saw the blue truck that had hit me.  There were two passenger in it and both were hurt very badly.  I got out of my car and started walking toward them when I was pulled aside by what seemed like a horde of people.  A million faces all talking at me, yet I could hear nothing but the screams.  I was not dreaming.

To make this long story short - let me just say I do believe in premonition.  Every detail of my dream was exact in the actual unfolding of the event.  Perhaps, even the two bodies I saw - as both Jim and I were unconscious for a period of time.  The only thing was - I lived, even though for many weeks before hand I had that same eerie feeling you describe.

I sincerely hope you are not in for an accident of any type.  I was litterally watching for mine - and it still caught me.  The truck that hit me was driving with no lights on.  I never even saw it coming.

Even still, the fact that I thought I was gonna die....didn't actually prove to be my death.  I hope the helps a little.


Michael



[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 03-08-2000).]
PhaerieChild
Senior Member
since 08-30-99
Posts 1829
Aloha, Oregon


2 posted 03-08-2000 12:13 PM       View Profile for PhaerieChild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PhaerieChild

I too have had that eerie feeling. I had a dream/nightmare that I would die on my 27th birthday in a brown car. For that reason I refused to ride in or drive a brown car. It really shook me up!! Even after I turned 27 I wouldn't for fear maybe I was wrong about the birthday. When I turned 30 I finally broke down and bought a little brown Toyota. In my dream I dreamed that my car had gone off the bridge into the Boise river and I had drowned. One day my Dad's car broke down and he borrowed mine to go fishing with a friend and they met at the Boise River. As the car was a stick and Dad forgot to set the hand brake my car rolled over the embankment and was last seen floating/sinking down the Boise River. Thankfully my Dad was not in it, nor anyone else so the only thing that died was my car. So yes I do believe in premonitions but I consider them warnings from God cuz death is never His agenda.  

 Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream.

Shawna R. Holder
Boise, Idaho


StarrGazer
Senior Member
since 03-05-2000
Posts 696
Texas


3 posted 03-08-2000 04:31 PM       View Profile for StarrGazer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for StarrGazer

ok now I am going to sound really insane to all of you... but I have these dreams where I am dead, I don't know how I know I just do ... the wierd thing in my dream is no one else notices that I am dead I see the life all around me and I can only watch and not take part and it is frustrating!!! And on my not so good days (secret revealing time ...I have ocd and major depression) I hear this little voice in my head "You're not alive you're already dead" and I feel like I am in the dream all over again this time living it in reality ... told ya i was wierd  

 ~*Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear*~
danni
Senior Member
since 11-20-1999
Posts 693
wisconsin


4 posted 03-09-2000 01:48 AM       View Profile for danni   Email danni   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for danni

My premonition has never been in the form of a dream. And it was never very clear to me when i was younger. At that time i just always felt that i was never going to come close to seeing old age. And as I got older, more details came to me. Now to the point that is pretty vivid. I see myself driving down a highway, late at night when there is no traffic. And somehow i lose control and go into a ditch, hitting a telephone pole. I'm in the car alone, and have no way of getting help. I die slowly, and alone.
Micheal- i hope this one doesn't come true eighther.
WildChild-i too believe we have been blessed with these different forms of instinct for a reason. But this one seems very unavoidable to me. i think when God is ready to take, then that's it. I hope it is just a warning. (in that case, i should curb my lead foot)  
StarrGazer- you don't sound insane at all. i spent three years in depression. whenever i needed to be by myself, i would get in the car, blast the radio, cry-scream-yell, and drive for hours. during those times the thought would flood my mind from out of nowhere, and instead of being scared, i welcomed it. even thought about just letting it happen. but, my stubborn nature wouldn't allow me to fall into that kind of weakness. that would let everybody know how bad it was. instead i injured myself in other ways. kept it all to myself until it devoured me, and nobody knew. i still don't think they fathom how bad it was. o.k. way off the subject. i'll stop it there. it's something how one thought leads you to others and keeps going. so anyway, just wanted to say, don't be so hard on yourself. you don't sound insane.  
thanks for responding everyone! Very glad to find i'm not the only one. (and a little nervous about how close the outcomes!)  
JOY 14
Senior Member
since 09-22-1999
Posts 1447
Wisconsin USA


5 posted 03-10-2000 07:49 PM       View Profile for JOY 14   Email JOY 14   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JOY 14's Home Page   View IP for JOY 14

Oh my gosh Danni!  I know what you mean.  Lately, I have thought I was going to drive myself crazy!  Because I have been thinking that I am going to get cancer and die.  I don't have it and I really DON'T want to get it.  I am just so afraid that I will get it and die and when I read this, I thought I HAVE to respond to this.
It feels good to tell someone because I haven't mentioned this to anyone.  Don't want anyone I love to get freaked out.  
I don't have dreams as much as thinking about it when I have control over my mind.

So, what do you think about this?  It isn't like a car accident because that sounds like you die rather quickly, but cancer is more suffering, like knowing every day you could die, and then you do? I don't know.  Tell me what you think!  

Joy
danni
Senior Member
since 11-20-1999
Posts 693
wisconsin


6 posted 03-12-2000 01:13 AM       View Profile for danni   Email danni   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for danni

Those types of thoughts have crossed my mind too. But that usually happens when someone i know is going through some major illness. i think that these types stem more from a fear of dying that way. cancer runs in my family and so does heart problems. so i think i'm sort of pre-disposed to a sort of paranoia about it. for example, a little over a month ago i was taken to the e.r. for severe cramps in my abdomen. i couldn't even walk. anyway- after initial testing they said there was some sort of mass behind my uterus. and they spoke of all the possible things it could be. and all that kept ringing through my mind was that it's going to be something cancerous. and it scared me even more because they found it to be so unusaul. well, when i came back to my regular doctor, they did further tests and found that is was a cyst on my ovary. and a simple surgical procedure would take care of it. whew! big releif! but yeah, i know what you mean. but that type of thought process for me, is about fear of it. where the car accident thing feels much different than that. and it's hard for me to explain. as far as terminal illness, it's more a paranoid type of fear, where the accident is a calmer type of feeling. i feel it, and see it plain as day, but i remain calm about it. and i've had it for as long as i can remember. like i said, it doesn't stop me from driving or for that matter having a lead foot. it is not controlling in any way. where the latter, is something that only came to mind when people close to me started getting sick or dying. and is more of a paranoia. you know?  
i haven't said anything about this to anyone close to me eighther. i also think it might freak them out. especially my mom, who is a strong beleiver in preminitions, and other type instinctive and spiritual feelings and behaviors.
Justbleu
Member Elite
since 08-31-99
Posts 3430
Oregon, Originally From Alaska


7 posted 03-13-2000 07:26 PM       View Profile for Justbleu   Email Justbleu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Justbleu's Home Page   View IP for Justbleu

I never had told anyone this but this opened the door for me to talk about it!!  There are three things that I have had feelings about!!  One is that I won't live past my early 30's!! Second is I will never be married, the other is I will never have children of my own and maybe that is why I have wanted to become a teacher since I was about 5 years old!!  I want to live a long life, with a husband and have children of my own but who knows!!  It's just feelings I've had for a few years now, or maybe just fears!!  I am 27 now!!  Makes me wonder!!

 
Jannel
Member
since 01-18-2000
Posts 498
Muncie, IN, USA


8 posted 03-14-2000 12:47 AM       View Profile for Jannel   Email Jannel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jannel

I do not feel the "dying early" thing, like many of you, but i believe in premonition and that dreams are very powerful. when i was younger, my family used to visit a lake on weekends. one day i met a girl and we swam together that day. i went home and had the most vivid dream about this girl. she looked different, but i knew it was her. i was on my bike, and riding with her and another girl, and i turned around in the middle of the road to go back because they were staying behind for some reason. but this could never have happened since i didn't have a bike to take down there. i forgot the dream until about three years later, when i moved to this lake. i had met some girls, and was riding my bike with them, and only when i turned at the place in my dream did it come back to me and did i realize that one of them was the girl i had met before. this has been about seven years ago, but i still often have dreams that "couldn't happen" for some reason or another, but circumstances change, and they do. it's creepy, but i completely believe in premonition through dreams.
Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 01-15-2000
Posts 2072
Tulsa, OK


9 posted 03-24-2000 04:30 PM       View Profile for Danny Holloway   Email Danny Holloway   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Danny Holloway

Our minds are incredible organs. The possibilities of this organ are beyond our comprehension I believe. I think many people are haunted by fatalistic feelings of some type which may have their origin in some past experience, real or imagined.
I firmly believe you have control over your own destiny. We can live carefully or recklessly and influence our longivity probably.  But, quality of life (I think) comes from working through our fears and challenging life to be as full for us as we can make it.  Let the stars line up as they may, just live on your own terms and don't distract from your happiness by dwelling on  unfounded disruptive thoughts.
There, one man's opinion which I offer for two cents.
Best regards to you.
 
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