My premonition has never been in the form of a dream. And it was never very clear to me when i was younger. At that time i just always felt that i was never going to come close to seeing old age. And as I got older, more details came to me. Now to the point that is pretty vivid. I see myself driving down a highway, late at night when there is no traffic. And somehow i lose control and go into a ditch, hitting a telephone pole. I'm in the car alone, and have no way of getting help. I die slowly, and alone.
Micheal- i hope this one doesn't come true eighther.
WildChild-i too believe we have been blessed with these different forms of instinct for a reason. But this one seems very unavoidable to me. i think when God is ready to take, then that's it. I hope it is just a warning. (in that case, i should curb my lead foot)
StarrGazer- you don't sound insane at all. i spent three years in depression. whenever i needed to be by myself, i would get in the car, blast the radio, cry-scream-yell, and drive for hours. during those times the thought would flood my mind from out of nowhere, and instead of being scared, i welcomed it. even thought about just letting it happen. but, my stubborn nature wouldn't allow me to fall into that kind of weakness. that would let everybody know how bad it was. instead i injured myself in other ways. kept it all to myself until it devoured me, and nobody knew. i still don't think they fathom how bad it was. o.k. way off the subject. i'll stop it there. it's something how one thought leads you to others and keeps going. so anyway, just wanted to say, don't be so hard on yourself. you don't sound insane.
thanks for responding everyone! Very glad to find i'm not the only one. (and a little nervous about how close the outcomes!)