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Passions in Poetry

How long to wait

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Somewhere in the vast wastelan

0 posted 02-18-2000 11:35 PM       Edit/Delete Message     View IP for BOO

Hello.  I have in the past year or so developed one of the strongest relationships between me and a friend imaginable.  Since we became friends we both knew there was noone that we knew with a stronger relationship.  One thing I might want to add is at this time I'm a freshman female and he's a junior guy.  Now don't get me wrong, there is NOTHING between us in that way.  We have always thought of our relationship as a brother-sister thing.  He's always been there and is so very protective.  This is up until about a month ago.  He began to seem a little off and I approached him about it and I got the responce of " I just thought we didn't have a lot to talk about right now but we are still so close and that will never change".  Even after this it seems we've slipped away and more than anything I wish I could talk with him and be that same close that everyone always wishes to have.  I miss him with every ounce of me.  But how long do I wait for a comeback?  I love him like family.  May I just say one thing he said to me that I'll never forget was "You are the best and I'll always love you"....Well if you have a responce to my feelings or maybe a little advice please please let me know.  Thanks so much.  
P.S. Boo is the nickname he gave to me.

White Wolf
since 09-18-99
Posts 384
Somewhere in the vast wastelan

1 posted 02-19-2000 01:37 AM       View Profile for White Wolf   Email White Wolf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for White Wolf

   I know your feelings in this all too well.  Olny difference is that she was and still is(it is hard for me to tell for sure) the love of my life.  But I learned how to put my desire on the back shelf to develop the friendship.  We were close.  Closer than a brother and sister.  We could talk about anything.  We even finished each others sentences and even thoughts.  But for some unforseen reason I thought we were drifting apart.  We would rarely talk.  I was getting really worried.  I thought I was losing my best friend.  But after a time I came to realize that verbal communication was not needed for our friendship to grow.  A friend like what you described never fades no matter how much or little you actually talk.  You two have a link to each other.  If you thought about it you could probably tell if there is something wrong with him before you even talk or see him.  The link is special and can never be broken.  For some reason I know this from trying to break it.  Why I tried, I cannot even fathom that.  My advice to you is to just give it time and you will see what is happening and what your friendship is all about.  I thank you for your post.  It reminded me of how very special my own friendship is.  Thanx.


 If dying is the process of living life to its end.
Then what is living?

Senior Member
since 08-30-99
Posts 1829
Aloha, Oregon

2 posted 02-19-2000 02:45 AM       View Profile for PhaerieChild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PhaerieChild

Boo, I have a friend that I met when I was 17 and he was 20. I am now 43 and he is 46 and we are still best of friends. Every once in awhile we go thru these periods of not talking to each other. I don't know why this happens, it just does. Sometimes we do get angry with each other (like when I got married to this guy he didn't like, I shoulda listened to him and saved myself about 10 yrs. of crap) and when that happens we go along til one day either he calls or I call and say "hey you over your mad yet?" It is like a brother sister thing and we can't stay mad forever. We have each grown and bloomed with this friendship and sometimes in the process things are dormant. There are times when we sit together and don't even talk. It's just a comfortable silence. Guys are kinda funny in that they don't have to talk. They just sit and listen and think they've have the greatest conversation in history. It could be your friend is having problems at home or maybe a girlfriend who doesn't understand platonic relationships and he is having to make a decision. I went thru all that when my friend got married not once but twice and man!!!talk about some jealousy there!! It all worked out and I just love his wife and he really likes the man I am married to now. It's a weird thing to be a woman and have a man as a best friend but it has been worth every struggle and every tear and every ounce of laughter. I hope you are able to maintain your friendship. They are so very important.

 Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream.

Shawna R. Holder
Boise, Idaho


Aloha, Oregon

3 posted 02-19-2000 04:33 PM       Edit/Delete Message     View IP for BOO

Thanks for that so much.  Maybe what I needed to know was that other friendships that are similar go through this and it hopefully will start to show up to me that we are still so close.  It's helped me alot! thanks again.
One Who Understands
since 01-20-2000
Posts 252
Cedar Rapids, Iowa

4 posted 02-21-2000 03:14 AM       View Profile for One Who Understands   Email One Who Understands   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for One Who Understands

Boo, it's hard to give advise in such a complicated scenario.  But I would like to leave you with my most precious thought...

"Cherish all the wonderful memories you and your close friend have shared.  Even if eachothers pathes in life seem to be different."

Cedar Rapids, Iowa

5 posted 04-29-2000 08:52 PM       Edit/Delete Message     View IP for Boo

   It's been quite a while since I've put any update about this out there so I thought I'd let you in on it.  Well since then it's gotten extremely worse.  I hardly ever talk to him but he doesn't seem to care much anymore.  It was my birthday about a week ago and he didn't even tell me happy birthday.  That tore me apart so much.  Everytime I look at him I just think about everything we've been through and it's very hard.  I still don't know what to do.  But I know I can't keep letting this take control of my life but I can't let it go.  I come home depressed which shouldn't be happening but that's how much he meant to me.  I'll always love him no matter what.   Well thanks for listenin again.  And if anyone has any new advice.  Please let me in on it.
pen of passion
since 08-11-99
Posts 240

6 posted 04-30-2000 12:27 PM       View Profile for pen of passion   Email pen of passion   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for pen of passion

Boo, I am thinking there is more than frienship going on here.  In any case, Wild is right, men don't converse as much as women. I think they enjoy listening to us women.  So I would take the initiative to chat when you see him.  Tell him all the things you've been up to.  Try to be light and upbeat.  How long do you wait for a comeback?  I'm not sure what you are thinking here.  In my opinion (I know there are others), one shouldn't put his or her life on hold for someone.  I know your hurt, but the best thing you can do for yourself now is get involved in something or someone else; i.e.  love yourself.  Focus on your goals.  As the saying goes, "If you love something very, very much, let it go free,...."  Again this is my opinion.
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