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need help

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/\/\ar\/i/\/
Unregistered


Illinois


0 posted 12-01-1999 11:08 PM       Edit/Delete Message     View IP for /\/\ar\/i/\/

I've been in a long distance with this girl for about 8 months. Recently I've come to terms with the fact that it wasn't meant to be and that I think we should break up. We've come close to it a couple of times, but each time I'm about to just tell her that we need to break up, she tells me that she can't live without me and that she'll commit suicide if I do. I don't want to stay, but I can't leave because of the fear that she'll do something to herself. Please help.

thanks
danni
Senior Member
since 11-20-1999
Posts 693
wisconsin


1 posted 12-02-1999 07:54 PM       View Profile for danni   Email danni   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for danni

I know this is a difficult situation and there isn't one simple answer. But at this point I would say the girl knows she has a certain control over you. I'm sure she has been in a few relationships where she has probably use this same tactic. She obviously has some issues and is putting the pressure on you to bear some of the load. It is not healthy for you to stay in this type of relationship. People have a hard enough time dealing with their own problems without having to carry and solve that of anothers. The best you can do is be gentle with her feelings and hope for the best.

I hope this helps some
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


2 posted 12-02-1999 09:53 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

You have to realize that the threat is a means of control. You also have to realize that if she does go through with it, none of that is your responsiblity. The ones that threaten generally (and I do say generally) do not go through with it.

My ex-husband threatened to kill himself if I left him. I left...he is still alive. This is manipulation at it's best, don't fall prey. Be honest with her and be clear. You will not allow yourself to be held hostage in a situation you are not comfortable with.

What I would like to know is...how old is this girl?
 
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