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why does it happen?

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destiny502
Member
since 11-23-1999
Posts 99
OH


0 posted 11-26-1999 07:46 PM       View Profile for destiny502   Email destiny502   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for destiny502

I found out late last night, that a girl from my school was killed in a car accident that morning. She was 17 years old. I never thought about the fact that it was the morning of Thanksgiving day until a friend of mine brought it up. I lost 2 friends in another accident, one of them i was very close to. It was devastating. It will be a year in December that it happened. There was also another accident right before school began this year, where another 16 year old girl was killed. When i found out about the accidents following the deaths of my two friends, i was relieved that i wasn't close to the girls that were killed. I feel guilty when i think like that, but its hard not to. It hurts enough knowing that they are gone, and I won't ever see them around school or hear them laughing with their friends. I think of everything they are missing, and of how their familys and friends are feeling, because i know what they are going through. I will be getting my liscense soon. But i'm so afraid to drive now, that im not sure i will ever want to. I saw the cars they were in, i felt the pain of losing them, i had dreams of them that scared me yet made me feel peaceful at the same time like they were still there with me. I found out at school the next morning that my friends were dead. People at school that were supposed to be my friends were using the whole thing as a way to get out of class. They acted like they cared to keep up their "reputations". Yet they laughed and joked as if nothing happened. I never had hated so many people as i did that day. I thought, well if they can act like they cared for my friends, maybe they will care if i died. I questioned god. I remembered laying in bed every night for weeks crying, and questioning the god that had taken my friends away. Why did he do it? Why did it have to be them? I said "i hate you" over and over again. I still question him. I thought constantly about death and the fact that you will never know who could be gone tomorrow, or an hour from now. I was obsessed with being a better person. To change how i was. That i would never judge another person again. The whole thing just tore me apart. But i eventually began to get over it... and now i'm deciding if i should be grieving over the death of this girl i knew but was never friends with. I just dont know what to do....
myslinky
Member
since 11-25-1999
Posts 61


1 posted 11-26-1999 09:03 PM       View Profile for myslinky   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for myslinky

Its always hard to find out that someone so young has passed away. It is especialy hard when you are young yourself. Being a teenager is hard enough without having to deal with the pain of losing a friend.
The only thing you can do when something so horrible has happened is to reflect on your own life. Your friend is resting now. She cannot feel any pain. You have to learn and accept that death is a part of life. Its hard I know but its reality.

You should never judge God for the bad things that happen to you. God is love.
Never lose the faith in Him. If you lose faith your life will become empty and meaningless.

You seem like a very caring and honest person so donīt lose hope because to every night there is a dawning day. The pain of losing your friend will become less. That wont make you less of a better person it just means that you have learned to accept the truth.

Dont despair, and keep the faith.



[This message has been edited by myslinky (edited 11-26-1999).]
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


2 posted 11-26-1999 10:13 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Destiny
Everyone - people - teenagers - all handle death in their own personal ways. Some project grief, some internalize, some are melodramatic, and some seem to be unfeeling. Everyone feels the loss, I assure you. All you can do is attempt to be in touch with your own feelings about your friends. That in itself is a major feat. God Bless...
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


3 posted 11-26-1999 11:54 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Destiny: The loss and the bewilderment you are feeling is natural...even at my age and I'm 42, death hits hard, it makes us realise that we should take nothing for granted, we should enjoy life but that is hard, our own problems sometimes hinder those thoughts and make it hard to get things into perspective...I don't have the answers, wish I did..:-) but I guess we wake up each day believing that we can make a difference, to someone, somewhere, somehow ...by extending friendship ...maybe to someone who is being bullied and by convincing them they are a worthwhile human being ( as we all are) or maybe by becoming the next scientist....the road is full of dreams and losses and somehow we have to find the balance between those two....

Please find that balance, don't place your own needs in front of others but equally don't place another's needs behind yours...find the balance that enriches your life and the needs of others will come naturally..:-)

HUGS to you

ps: if you want to talk to me, or just let loose a few emotions, mail me...

Your post gave me food for thought!

------------------
There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it...
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


4 posted 11-27-1999 01:12 AM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Destiny I'm sorry to hear about this! Things like this tend to really hit home when it's someone we know. Do not stop yourself from living life because it has happened. Go ahead and get your license. If you feel that you must grieve for these people, then go ahead and do so. There are many tragedies in todays world, but God put you here for a purpose. You can't stop doing the things you should because of them. To grieve and go on is what we should do. I'm sure it will make you more aware and a lot more careful.

I also want to add that I know people tend to look at God and ask why has He done this.
But when bad things happen it is not God, but the good that comes from those tragedies is from God. People have free will and choose to do things, which God will not interfere with. So happens that some people make bad choices. Things happen sometimes not so good things. But the good that comes from the death of these people is from God. May it be a lesson you learn, the coming together of friends and family to help out. That is from God. He takes a bad situation and makes and brings something good out of it. I hope this has helped you some!

If you would like to talk further, please feel free to email at anytime. I would love to talk with you.

God Bless you and help you through this, I know this is rough on you! <*\\\><
destiny502
Member
since 11-23-1999
Posts 99
OH


5 posted 11-27-1999 01:04 PM       View Profile for destiny502   Email destiny502   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for destiny502

thank you all!! it really helps to know you all care!!
Sammygirl
Unregistered


OH


6 posted 12-13-1999 08:31 PM       Edit/Delete Message     View IP for Sammygirl

Destiny
I have been reading about your b/f and the girls in the car accident .. Well  all i have to say about your boyfriend is " if he really does love you as much as he says he does then he will wait for you and wont see any other girls " . But he may not wait for you  , and i cant tell you to just move on  , b/c sooner or later you will get over him and decide  to move on yourself .. And i cant begin to think about how sad you must feel about those girls .... Your young and many things will happen , but you have to be strong in order to get through life
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