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Passions in Poetry

This place looks so forlorn!

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Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


0 posted 09-27-1999 10:03 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

So I'm going to throw something out there, something I think quite a few of us here can relate to ...

On the subject of internet relationships ... people meeting over the web and falling in love before they've ever met in person ... what type of things do you think someone should do to ensure their emotional (not to mention physical) safety? I am currently involved in such a relationship, and I am firmly convinced that this gentleman hung the moon, to use a very bad cliche. My close (non-internet) friends, however, think I have gone over the edge and descended into the realm of madness, not only because I am in love with a person I have never met but because I have arranged to meet this person in the near future. Don't get me wrong; I know that many people use this medium to live their fantasies, and become someone they're not ... in the case of my love, I have made a judgement call and decided that he is who he claims to be, and deserving of my love and esteem.

I, personally, have believed that 95% of love is all mental, extending even into the physical side of it: lovemaking is largely mental as well. My friends think that I cannot possibly be in love without ever having been in physical proximity and/or contact. Who is right, and why..?

------------------
"Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus"
(Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.")

Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 05-19-99
Posts 9708
Michigan, US


1 posted 09-27-1999 10:19 PM       View Profile for Ron   Email Ron   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ron's Home Page   View IP for Ron

Way back in June, when I still had time to update the main site as often as I'd like, I wrote an introduction to a very special poem, by a poet named Lloyd Klumpp. It was our "Poem of the Day" (posted weekly, at best), and I selected it both because it was good and because it gave me the opportunity to talk about something I found increasingly important. I still believe these words today, more so than ever.



I've always thought of myself as a romantic. I believe in Love and, more, I believe in the expression of Love, and I've always thought my preoccupation with feelings made me a romantic. I have only recently realized, however, that I'm also something of a cynic.

Two months ago, if someone had told me a person could fall in love with someone they had never even met, I would have laughed in their face. I've always thought "love at first sight" was just a poetic phrase for lust, and if you tried to push "love at never sight" down my throat I would have called it a sad symptom of loneliness. I believe in Love, and I believe in soul mates, and I believe in happiness. I just don't think they're as common as too many people would have us believe. See - I really am something of a cynic.

But I'm not a fool. If I see the sun rising in the West once, I might think I've made a mistake. When I see it do it every day for a week, I realize I'm seeing a new world order. I'm seeing something that has changed.

For the past month, I've been seeing something new. At least new to me. I've made a lot of friends through Passions, met people I would never have met without the web site and without the magic of the Internet. Over two months ago, one of our first poets told me her daughter had met her husband over the Internet. It slid by me like a greased ice cube, and I thought little of it. About a month ago, I met a couple, both resident poets on Passions, who were looking forward to the day they could meet in person, a day that will finally happen, probably by the time this is posted. There was only a small ocean standing between them. And I've talked to others, as well, very sensible people who have - much to my surprise - found someone on the Internet they've been able to connect to.

People far wiser than I have called the Internet a Super Highway. A conduit of digital information. In classes I teach, I define the Internet as "a network of networks," millions of computers connected through a vast array of electronic switches. But I'm discovering what I should have realized long ago. The Internet is really a network of People. And, maybe, it's inevitable: where there are people, there will be friendship and romance and love.

Can two people, separated by perhaps thousands of miles, connected only via modem and magic, really come to know one another well enough to call what they feel love? I don't know the answer to that question. I do know that many of the friends I've made through Passions and the Internet have become very special to me. I do know there is one friend in particular I feel as if I'm coming to know very well. But, love? I don't know. I only know this is a new world, for me, for everyone, and we're still discovering the wonderful possibilities it has to offer.

Today's Poem of the Day is about this phenomenon I'm only just beginning to see. I think it expresses, better than most, something of what I'm still in the process of learning. This is only one of perhaps a dozen poems I've received in the past two weeks, poems that seem determined to convince me the sun is rising in the West these days.




Those of you who would like to read the poem, titled ICQ, can find it here. And for those of you who might be curious, every single one of the individuals mentioned in my introduction (though not by name) are Members here in the forums. Those stories, like all of the others here in this real world called the Internet, are still being written...

[This message has been edited by Ron (edited 09-27-1999).]
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


2 posted 09-29-1999 11:27 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Nocht: There aren't any guarantees with internet relationships... I've known people who were very hurt from a face to face meeting and I've known some who were overjoyed. But when you think about it, there aren't any guarantees, period. However they meet, some couples will find happiness and some will find heartache.

When it first became obvious to my family and friends that I was starting to care deeply for an internet friend, I got all the horror stories and head shaking. And though I didn't expect them to understand something I was adjusting to myself, I did wonder at all the concern... these same people would have thought nothing of me going on a date with someone I'd just met if I'd met him through more traditional means. So my question to them was.... how can you nod in acceptance of me spending time with someone based on nothing more than mutual physical attraction and shudder at the thought of me meeting someone I've shared my heart and soul with for months? And if love develops, which has the firmer foundation?

So many relationships crumble because there's no communication.... Black and white words are so easy to misinterpret, so I believe an internet couple doesn't even exist unless they've learned to really talk to one another. How honest that communication is will depend, of course, on the people involved.
JTF
Member
since 08-09-99
Posts 325
France


3 posted 09-29-1999 12:55 PM       View Profile for JTF   Email JTF   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for JTF

I think Auntie hit the point ... you can fall in love with someone you've never physically met but with whom you've shared your heart and soul ... The people I know who met first through the Net and then decided to meet in person, have been talking together for months before making that step ... and they probably knew more about each other than "traditionnal" couples.

I don't think it's a new world order ... there are stories of people who fell in love through the exchange of letters ... but the Net who connects millions of people over the world and above all creates zillions of communities (PIP being one of them) is giving a new dimension to the phenomenon.

Now it's true that deception is a lot easier over the Net ... it's much more difficult to know that someone is lying when you can't see their eyes and when you don't have the body language ... and unfortunately the Internet community isn't wacko-free, so I will always recommend that you, especially you ladies, take a minimum of precautions before a first in-person-meeting (having his phone number, picking up the meeting place, telling a friend where you go and who you're going to meet).

To conclude on an happy note, let me tell you that when you see her for the first time and realise that every thing you imagined or dreamed about her is true ... wow !!! ... it's magical

[This message has been edited by JTF (edited 09-29-1999).]
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


4 posted 09-29-1999 05:55 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Noch: Story time but real life story time..:-))

Almost 2 years ago this man popped into my life and to be honest I didn't much like him to start with, found him crude (definitely not me) but as time went on, he changed, became more gentle if you like...he kept asking for my ICQ number and kept losing it..LOL...eventually I started to look forward to this man and his humour, he made me laugh and I him....some 5 months later he suggested we meet and so we did...he was everything I thought he'd be and I presume I was to him...

The relationship went on for just under another year, during which we met again for 5 days...we had reached a point where we could share everything, talk about the most deepest of feelings and be at ease with each other, we could argue and make up, listen to each other, you name it, the perfect relationship, sadly, he ended up making a decision that didn't include me, but for him was the right decision and involved other people, little people and in the same situation, who knows what I would ahve done...


Summarising...Yes, I met the love of my life and he met the love of his life but loving someone doesn't mean all will be ok, wish it did....

HUGS

------------------
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.



[This message has been edited by RainbowGirl (edited 09-29-1999).]
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


5 posted 09-29-1999 07:16 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

Thank you all for reading and responding.

suthern: you just repeated verbatim what I have been trying to pound into my friends' and family's heads for months: there are NEVER any guarantees. If a person is a psychopath, they are no more likely to admit it if you met them in person than if you met them on the net. Contrary to popular belief, most psychopaths do not exhibit telltale "strange" behaviors at all times so that they can be recognized as such. Thus, meeting in person right away has no advantage other than increasing the amount of inhibitions and nervousness both persons experience, and that is NOT a plus in my book.

JTF, I think you made a very good point when you said that the average 'net couple knows each other much better than the "traditional" first-date couple. The gentleman that I am currently involved with knows some things about me that even my MOTHER doesn't know; as far as I am concerned, meeting in person is simply a formality (albeit a yummy one; see my posts on that subject in Adult! ).

Rainbow, I am SO sorry that your 'net romance turned out that way; believe me, it isn't the first sad story I have heard about 'net romance, or romance in general, and I am sure it will not be the last. LOL ... a story that my friend told me comes to mind when she and a 'net date met and spent the entire afternoon shopping ... for HIM! I believe her exact words were "The guy didn't even offer to buy me an ice cream cone ..."

So, big surprise, there are the good and the bad ... just like life, whoda thunk it..? I choose to believe that I have stumbled upon one of the very good ones, and no suggestions of friends or threats from family are going to keep me from wanting and loving him.

(end of speech)

Nocht
IsabelleSkye
Member
since 06-27-99
Posts 262


6 posted 09-29-1999 08:04 PM       View Profile for IsabelleSkye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for IsabelleSkye

Here's a poem I wrote about my experience with a "Net-Meeting". I was lucky in the guy I met. He was wonderful and sweet and a gentleman. I do miss him now that our lives have ended up on different paths. I guess fate has her hand in alot of things.
*sigh*
I.Skye

unknown sky

my feet carried my heart down a path
I'd not traversed before
the air carried a scent, wild and free
I knew not what it foretold
or what I should find
if my course continued so
the sky cracked with thunder's ire
the earth shook to it's very core
the sea creatures gave rise to their haunting refrain
as rocks and trees, mountains and waters
all chorused in a melodic chime
the winds spake your name to my heart
before my mind e'er knew it's exsistence
my lips longed for the sweet fruit of your kiss
though my eyes had ne'er drowned in the tides of yours
the breeze whispered your love to me
on the currents of an unknown sky

Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


7 posted 09-29-1999 08:44 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

I. Skye, that was absolutely beautiful! I know exactly how you feel ...

Nocht
Colin
Senior Member
since 06-05-99
Posts 612
Callington, Cornwall, England


8 posted 09-30-1999 02:15 PM       View Profile for Colin   Email Colin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Colin

Yes, you truly can fall in love over the internet. Fall so deeply in love that it takes you hold as you get to know the person you fall in love with soul to soul. You haven't got the distractions and awkwardnesses sometimes found in face to face meetings, you just get to know each other. I fell in love with someone on the net. It was a slow process, which both of us tried to fight cos we didn't want to open our hearts to the possibility of being hurt. Well, love crept up on us and we were unabvle to fight it and it ended up being wonderful. We know each other better than anyone in the whole world knows us. We met, and I spent the happiest week of my life with the woman I still love with all my heart. I've just learned that officially "our lives have ended up on different paths". Sad because we still love each other and I know we always will.

In summary, yes you can fall in love on the net and just like any other love, you can have your heart broken on the net.
Lucie
Senior Member
since 06-20-99
Posts 1123
Houston


9 posted 10-01-1999 10:50 PM       View Profile for Lucie   Email Lucie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lucie

My brother and a girl met on the net in December of 98, met in January of 99, and married in June.. weird but true.. and they seem happy.. who am I to judge..
 
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