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Internet Love - infidelity or not?
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Internet Love - infidelity or not? |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA 
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Many have "met" someone on the internet, experienced passion, 'love', joy, pain. blah blah, blah..... If you are in a marriage or relationship, is this internet love considered indidelity? |
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| © Copyright 1999 JP Burns - All Rights Reserved | |||
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fjones Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 98MS |
Of course. IF you consider the relationship more than friendship then it is a betrayal. |
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Delores Hall Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 342USA |
I agree with fjones. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Yes. What if it were love letters, written, mailed via snail mail and read? Yes. Any infidelity 'carried out' (not just in your fantasies) is infidelity. |
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Lil-bit Junior Member
since 1999-08-03
Posts 29Tallahassee, Florida |
It is a broken trust. Yes - it's infidelity. Remember though, it depends on a person's values. This is the crucial key to what is labeled "infidelity". ------------------ |
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pandora Member
since 1999-07-26
Posts 184 |
IMHO, infidelity is infidelity, despite your stated values or your chosen lifestyle. It is what it is. I would agree that an internet romance is infidelity when the person is married. |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
I am going to take a different standpoint on this from my normal way. I am not a very religious person, and I do hope talk of it doesn't upset anyone. Though this is an adult place where we can surely respect each other's views as adults. I am from Mississippi, and have been raised mostly in pentecostal churches as a small child. In the years before my teenage years, it was Assembly of God. In my older teenage years I attended Baptist churches. Through all of these it has always been taught to me that lusting after or wanting someone else (even by just mere thought) while married was indeed infidelity. Though I admit I don't attend church often anymore, I still hold these teachings true. I believe in them, but cannot say I haven't made the same mistakes. In short, I suppose I am saying, yes. I believe it is infidelity when internet "love" happens during a marriage. As for right or wrong, those are left up to the individual to decide. There are many circumstances that lead to infidelity, and EVERYTHING happens for a deeper purpose. Thanks for listening, all, and good day. |
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Robin Junior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 48Cardiff, Wales, UK |
But how to tell when it changes from a friendship to an infidelity? Being fascinated by a person, over the web or not, doesn't in my mind constitute an infidelity. If it did then a million friendships would be called into question, not to mention the sexual orientation of people involved in them. The difference could tend to be the moment when secrets are being kept. That surely must be the point when infidelity starts. But it is not necessarily true that love has crept in, which I suspect most would say is the moment of infidelity since we are removing physical indiscretion to a large extent. Then there is another point. Being in love with someone else, does not mean you are being unfaithful to your current partner. If you do not act upon that love, or else act against it, what greater act of fidelity could be asked for? |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
Interesting point Robin. I've wondered about one's ability to love, love profusely and without question. If that love exists then certainly one could find themselves in love with someone other than their mate. Is that in itself infidelity or is it the acting on that love that is considered infidelity? [This message has been edited by JP (edited 08-10-99).] |
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Crystal Member
since 1999-07-24
Posts 62Hazel Park Mi U.S.A. |
I believe that loving someone other than your mate is infidelity. When you are married you should only have feelings for and want feelings for your mate. When sexual desires,(even thinking them) go beyond your "bedroom" door that is infidelity. Even when it is only words on a computer. When you do have feelings for someone other than your mate than you are betraying a trust between the two of you. Than you have to wonder what the point of getting married was in the first place. That is what I believe. [This message has been edited by Crystal (edited 08-12-99).] |
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mister61 Junior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 41bergen county, nj |
Infidelity is a relative thing. Anytime you breach the trust you have with your partner, I think that constitutes infidelity - whether sexual or emotional intimacy is involved or not. If you stray beyond the bounds of the relationship defined by you and your partner, you're cheating. By the same token, is it even possible to be guilty of infidelity in an "anything goes" relationship? |
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traveler Member
since 1999-08-17
Posts 119 |
The woman i love dearly found another on the net ... the hurt was no less real ... i was no less crushed ... it is about commitment and trust ... do the actions under taken by one violate the other ... something i learned as a kid ... treat others as you want to be treated ... on the net or elsewhere ... meaning, if your gonna play you should walk away from the last before you start a new ... [This message has been edited by traveler (edited 08-22-99).] |
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Julie Senior Member
since 1999-08-20
Posts 739Houston, TX |
Infidelity occurs when whatever your doing cannot be shared with your significant other. Webster's Dictionary: Unfaithfullness to a moral obligation. GOOD RULE OF THUMB: If in doubt, ask your spouse. ------------------ Julie ------------------------- Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. Marianne Williamson |
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moonmoon Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 277TX , USA |
I guess, it all depends on the defenition of infidelity..When we get married, does that mean we are not permitted to love the others in our life? We should all be entitled to love even when we are married, as long as we know where to draw the line... I'd have to agree with Julie on this one, if you are uncomfortable with your spouse viewing/sharing your cyber friendship, then that might qualify for infidelity.. In other words,listen to your inner voice, you'll know when you are doing something wrong.. But I wouldn't stop having good cyber friendships just 'coz I am married..!! [This message has been edited by moonmoon (edited 08-28-99).] |
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