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Open Poetry #39
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The Magician
| Open Poetry #39 |
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The Magician |
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cbautista Junior Member
since 2006-09-13
Posts 38 |
I have not written poetry since I've graduated college, about 2 years ago. I have not found the drive to do so but recently things in life drove me back to writing. (Puts in verbiage fillers) Yesterday I wanted to end my relationship I did something so wrong and I thought It was ruined. Yesterday the magician wanted to quit She did something so wrong and thought It was ruined. There are little to or no pieces to pick up The magician had broken her wand I lied to him, destroying his trust She had cast a spell that meant ill intent Because I had a need to capture his heart. To engage the audience she so beloved. So I had made this lie So she had made this castle That had one stone missing. That had one stone missing. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Catherine Bautista - All Rights Reserved | |||
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
I like this a lot. You don't need to preface your work -- it stands strong on its own. Good job and welcome. aziza |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms cb, she is a weaver of magic her loom, a pen her mind the silken thread kewl stuff welcome |
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cbautista Junior Member
since 2006-09-13
Posts 38 |
Thank you both. I look forward to comments and such as I have never, ever joined a poetry forum before, nor has anyone really read any of my work. Thank you for welcoming me. I am honored. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS! Fantastic entrance post here. Love, like magic, depends on believing. I look forward to seeing more of your work. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ Now - while the leaves still dance on the wind |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
cbautista LOL I think we all have one stone missing. Enjoyed and welcome to the site. |
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Lisey Junior Member
since 2006-08-27
Posts 36UK (Wales) |
i had to read this peom three for times....as in my eyes it could mean several different things in different peoples lifes,the poem is subtle yet it definatly has that hidden meaning that most people can reflect upon, what a great and truly magical poem! |
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cbautista Junior Member
since 2006-09-13
Posts 38 |
Actually I wanted it to be very personal. It had to do with fading magic and how illusionary it worked. I thought that at times we make illusions too, and sometimes that illusion is just that, an illusion that can be easily broken. I would love some criticism about the writing style or the imagery if any since I want to keep working on this poem. Thanks all! |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
I like the dual style of this poem cbautista... unique welcome |
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cbautista Junior Member
since 2006-09-13
Posts 38 |
I was looking for the dual style. Thank you for seeing it and for your comments! |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
CB~ Welcome to the hallowed halls of PiP~ I read down through your responses and saw that you want to solicit 'critiques' ... I'm not much of a critiquer, but I did note this - 'There are little to or no pieces to pick up' Not sure if you meant 'little or no pieces', the 'to' in there threw me~ In your profile you can add a line that let's folks know that you seek 'critiques', and that might be helpful to you~ We also have a Critical Analysis Forum that you might wish to consider posting in~ Anyhow ... welcome to the pages blue~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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cbautista Junior Member
since 2006-09-13
Posts 38 |
Hi, thank you for that. I actually updated my inforamtion but it is not showing up. I do thank you for your criticism, I'll be changing it in my note book. Thank you again! |
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