I’d Take Your Life If I Could

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

0 posted 2006-06-07 12:05 PM

I’d Take Your Life If I Could

Luck tumbles down on me like placer gold;
I have no claim, don’t even seek the vein of it,
merely pretend to twirl a pan while the nuggets shine,
mine already, out in this wide alluvium of happiness,
a fan of blessings washed into my valley
undeserved, beneath each passing rain.

Why does health stalk me, money come like a pet?
Why do the rats of misfortune shy away from me
while they gnaw your tent to rags,
and why do you come to me in spite of all?
I see the pattern even in this; I’m pyrite to your aurum
and you are my friend; I strike it rich, you find only me.

It feels so wrong here, and I picture you
panning through it like a forty-niner, searching,
striving all along the shrinking point bar of your life,
the granite gravel that you churn down into dead black sand,
to a heaviness of leavings you must search for any speck
while I sit on my bank, drink whiskey and know I should be you.

If only I could do I’d make it so, you know;
I’d bring you to my life and go to yours.
It’s you who should be finding, should have more,
more than the beans and cold water knees,
more than wet-white fingers and a back on fire from bending,
you who needs this ease from all the toil, who deserves.

Know this, that I am shamed by random fortune;
know too that gladly I would take your life,
and in the taking I would give you mine.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

1 posted 2006-06-07 12:22 PM

Ed

"If only I could do I’d make it so, you know;
I’d bring you to my life and go to yours.
It’s you who should be finding, should have more,"

It is in the wanting to, that this gift becomes special. Perhaps the gift of a loving heart is more possible.

The sincere expression of your poem touches me.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

2 posted 2006-06-07 12:35 PM

It touches me too Ed. What a humbling and heartfelt read.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

3 posted 2006-06-07 08:17 AM

and you are my friend; I strike it rich, you find only me.

Finding you IS striking it rich... a priceless treasure.

Beautiful and compassionate... both poem and poet. *S*

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

4 posted 2006-06-07 08:33 AM

This was extremely anointing
making the reader want to go soul-searching
in belief & knowledge that there is and always has been a better world, a better life
this wasn’t gibberish, but a very natural
Ed...(you), making me feel like a survivor who....
can make sense of her destiny, the great significance off "the voyeurism of experience", always believing I'm in
Coney Island
flicking hope as pure richness of eye-poping peace
I have been made better today for reading this
Thank you

Marge Tindal