sonnet 16 ( to my muse) - pipTalk Forums

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Open Poetry #38

sonnet 16 ( to my muse)

themute
Member

since 2006-05-08

Posts 469
Maryland

0 posted 2006-05-26 09:43 PM

My song is for my muse for you whisper
You will clear my clouded thoughts of gray
If knowledge has siblings you’re its sister
With your loving words I’ll not go astray
Let free my thoughts and too free my full mind
You have made all things my inspiration
And in my soul you have pushed hard to find
My passions words with some concentration
So I call you loving muse you make me
And make me more thoughtful of my wide world
So too you are my eyes that watch the sea
And so I thank you muse, my gilded girl
For I seen men who live in constant gray
Little love, little life, no words to say

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2006-05-26 09:50 PM

smiling through the mist in my eyes
this is so beautiful
what a golden heart you share

themute
Member

since 2006-05-08

Posts 469
Maryland

2 posted 2006-05-26 09:56 PM

and you too

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

3 posted 2006-05-26 10:07 PM

Sonnets are fun, huh? You might try changing
"I" to "I've" in the next to last line.
Otherwise, looks good.

themute
Member

since 2006-05-08

Posts 469
Maryland

4 posted 2006-05-26 10:14 PM

i did the "i" rather than ive conciously
it makes no difference in how it sounds anyway.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

5 posted 2006-05-27 06:37 AM

For I seen men who live in constant gray
Little love, little life, no words to say

so true.. love this ending

M

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

6 posted 2006-05-27 10:26 AM

You are quite welcome to write it as you
wish....thanx for the reply.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

7 posted 2006-05-27 10:31 AM

enjoyed this

themute
Member

since 2006-05-08

Posts 469
Maryland

8 posted 2006-06-05 07:58 PM

my muse says your all cool in my book

themute
Member

since 2006-05-08

Posts 469
Maryland

9 posted 2006-06-05 07:58 PM

my muse says your all cool in my book

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