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Open Poetry #38
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Parting
| Open Poetry #38 |
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Parting |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity 
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Dedicated to my son who is living this turmoil, I pray for their highest good to manifest, whether it means they will remain a couple or not. Love, Margherita  Trennung - Parting by Edvard Munch * * * Parting * * * We were destined for each other since forever unto eternity, you said. And I never questioned this truth, our love has been a prolonged moment of oneness out of time and space. What was the cause of change? Are there unknown existential laws by which we were thrown into chaos? We were one river of divine passion flowing joyously towards heavenly shores. Our touch was a meeting of diamonds shaping each other to major splendor. Who separated the course of our souls? Will I still be able to hear in the distance the rhythmic sound of your flapping wings? Or is there a new tune that makes you dance? Our laughter induced the sun to shine, to partake in our celebrations of love. Cold winter nights and shimmering snow shared the silence of our deep connection, calling forth the stars to reflect in our eyes. Will you gaze at the summer constellations remembering the magic of our navigations? Where do our ethereal songs resonate? Even now you are the queen of my heart thoughts of you twirl in my restless mind, but my heartbeat seems to be lonely as the twin sound of yours is lacking. My upraised yearning hands reach for you, but somehow they feel the need to fold, obeying inner whispers of sacred wisdom. Am I ready to surrender to what is? Cobwebs of unuttered truths and suspicions seek to hide the beauty of what has been, but I will not allow grayness to reign. I miss you and you say you miss me too … but this storm of feelings will subside. We bravely have to ride these waves of tears yet we are not meant to drown in sorrow’s sea, I know there will be a future for you and me. * * * |
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| © Copyright 2006 Margherita Rueger - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
A reality for someone dear to me as well...and for most of us at one time or another. You render thus with such compassion and insight. A keeper, close to my heart. Thank you Poetess, for freeing what my mind has churned for months now. TD |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Margherita An excellent write and an excellent choice of art.  |
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GTP Junior Member
since 2006-06-18
Posts 35NC...USA |
it is hard to watch others do this, never knowing what to say or do, but simply wishing time will lead them to the best decision...very powerful! |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
living these words myself, Margherita you chose a beautiful piece of artwork and words to match~~  M |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
heart wrenching watching it unfold in your poem as if i were there very powerful poetry |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Margherita Empathy so radiates from your love and wisdom of life. Beautiful! |
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nedj Member
since 2006-06-23
Posts 87Oregon USA |
Margherita, your brief preface was at least as good as the poem itself, particularly allowing that their "heighest good" might not leave them together. I would have liked that thought showcased a little better. You also used some very powerful imagery along side some weaker words. For example, "Our touch was a meeting of diamonds" is very evocative, as was the preceding line, "we were one river." Ditto, "the rhythmic sound of your flapping wings." The weaker words, as I see them, were, "towards heavenly shores", "our ethereal songs resonate," and "since forever unto eternity." The difference lies in abstraction versus concreteness. The instructor of my first poetry class used to pound on me about this point. He was a bit of a jerk, and I later decided to relegate him to the scrap heap in most ways, but I will be forever grateful for his counsel regarding concrete images. Thank goodness I was able to get past my dislike for him and see the value and importance of his advice about concretness. The reason it matters is simple: everyone has vastly different notions about abstract words, like "eternity." But we all know what it's like to receive an unexpected blow to the head, or to be kissed by a gentle summer breeze. In other words, it's just better communication: more intimate, more universal, and therefore more powerful. At the end of the day, it's all about communication, and the concrete wins every time. Remember the old adage: "Don't tell 'em. Show 'em." That having been said, I really like this piece because of the smooth flow, the deep compassion, and the utter vacuum of judgementalism. A poem's just a poet in a word. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
I miss you and you say you miss me too … but this storm of feelings will subside. We bravely have to ride these waves of tears yet we are not meant to drown in sorrow’s sea, I know there will be a future for you and me. * * * Let us hope that these words are heard. I have been on that rocky slope, with the pebbles raining around me...daring me to take a frightful step into the unknown... Prayers on their way |
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Poetic Concept Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 66God's Fingerprint |
Bravo I loved that picture...amazing The poem was good not as descriptive as the picture, I kept referring back to the picture to get some emotional gratification out of this piece. I think that this poem is great but it just seems like u start to strong and lose something as u continue, lind of like diminishing marginal returns in economics u get less and less with quantity I think this poem would have been wonderful had u shortened it and been a little more fluent. Good job though...elevation is the key...Dont be offended for I see no point in continuous praising it doesnt help anyone elevate...so keep writing "How vain it is to sit down and write when u have not stood up to live" |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Thank you my dear Poet friends for taking the time to read this long poem and for commenting wisely and lovingly. I appreciated all your replies. Dear Ned, I already told you on your own poem, that I am hopelessly addicted to the intangible, the abstract and the ethereal. Oh, there are some concrete poems now and then! Dear Poetic Concept, I actually was exactly of your opinion ... this poem became too long, but I felt it was difficult to shorten it and let it be as it was. I love the short poems too, I often write haikus and senryus too. They are a good challenge to be "condensed". THANK YOU ALL AGAIN! And dear Barry, thank you for your very welcome prayers, your sensitivity touches me deeply. My son is "in pieces".... Love, Margherita |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Margherita...I can relate to this very much. I hope everything works out, but have lerned from experience most things happen for a reason that isn't always clear till much later...Paul ~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~ |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Dear Paul, thank you! That's what I am telling my son, but right now he is heartbroken, though in lucid moments he sees the reasons, but then this reaction submerges again under the weight of his pain. Love, Margherita |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
All three sons of ours have gone through this. And yes it was a terrible time for them. But they have each survived and gone on and are happy now. Bless you and your son. I know it will be right whichever way it turns. best to you martyjo |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
My heart goes out to you and your son and all close to him. Are there children? I have a friend who is going through this, though with them it is the other way round. My friend is the wife and her husband has left her for a woman that they employed. Prayers (lots) and hugs and the warmest thoughts - Owl |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
gwad I love that painting, hauntingly beautiful.... as your words...aptly describe the true sense of loss I love the twist in this, the concern he has for his mate, instead of bitterness, anger, confusion, and lacking a desire to hurt back...that is so so good and so mature...understanding, wise... even though they're no longer together, he somehow knows, they will be forever...but in a different way your very wise, and I'm certain your son is as well, seems to me, through all the hurt and pain, you are both able to recognize, that unfortunately time, sometimes changes people so much, that they are no longer able to live together...it's not that anyone was wrong...it's just the way things have evolved.... I'm so sorry that your family and your son, must endure this....I think, that there will be nothing but good coming to the both of them from this, who knows what the future brings? |
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HopeS Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596Perth Western Australia |
So touching and heartfelt , I can imagine what emotional turmoil he must be going through Hope |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Thank you so much, you all touch my heart my dear poet friends with your loving, sensitive comments. Tears flow on both sides ... but the healing is on its way, I am sure. Love, Margherita |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
This is the first poem I've read from you (I don't come around here near as much as I should obviously) and wow!!!! I will definately be looking up more of your stuff! I really really enjoyed! -Tara |
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