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openthoughts
Member

since 2006-01-16

Posts 94
Where the child can be free

0 posted 2006-03-20 01:10 AM

A Cry to the Dark

Sleep is elusive and evasive
remaining far too cunning to trap
and yet I persist on trying still
desperatly and futilly

for sleep, i know
will rid me of these thoughts
of the conversation with the silence
that leaves my face buried

This night is not the first
another night with shaking hands
if never had i formed these thoughts
would i still now be sickened?

am i doomed to dream forever
of a face i'll never see?
no crime could ever fit
a punishment such as this

now i no longer can put my faith
in who i think i am
for that seems to change as often
as the sky changes its color

Why do you forsake me my friend
When only trusting have I been
But now, when needed most
I can taste betrayal on your words

Although your words are silent
all your truths are lies
to myself or to you, i'm crying
and I never will decide

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2006-03-20 02:37 AM

This subject--betrayal--is such a tricky preponderence. *shaking my head*

I think you did a good job of voicing the confusion of underlying questions.

And a hug for the pain so evident.

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

2 posted 2006-03-20 04:37 PM

"Although your words are silent
all your truths are lies"

Terrific lines... excellent poem.

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

3 posted 2006-03-21 02:48 AM

You're very good at expressing emotion; well-written poem. I hope you get some clarity and the pain ceases. I certainly know what it is to lay awake at night, but it is a different kind of pain for me (not one of the heart).

WindWalker
Senior Member

since 2001-10-12

Posts 1218

4 posted 2006-03-21 10:05 AM

I agree you are very good at expressing emotion, in this well crafted poem!

Xeonox

Senior Member

since 2000-04-01

Posts 1764
CA, USA

5 posted 2006-03-21 11:39 AM

good poem.

openthoughts
Member

since 2006-01-16

Posts 94
Where the child can be free

6 posted 2006-03-26 11:13 PM

thanks to everyone for commenting.

Little things often have big effects...

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