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troubadour
Junior Member

since 2006-02-09

Posts 43
in the land of yore

0 posted 2006-03-02 05:32 PM

Her heart was carved in satin moss,
And his in marbled stone;
She danced with children in a field,
And he stood alone.

His look was stern, his voice was hard,
Money was his Lord;
Her voice resounded to the sky
An ever-pleasing chord.

His mansion carried a stately look,
Her cottage sunlight pleased;
Silence ruled his catacombs,
Her laughter never ceased.

Years were carried down a stream,
Lives begun and gone;
His mind descended into dark,
Her spirit brightly shone.

She danced with children in a field,
He worshipped frigid stone;
Her grave is lined with daffodils,
His tombstone stands alone.

t

[This message has been edited by troubadour (03-02-2006 06:28 PM).]

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

1 posted 2006-03-02 06:57 PM

Reminds me of a Joni Mitchell song, "Blue Boy" in a way. Very well written poem.

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

2 posted 2006-03-03 10:58 PM

"She danced with children in a field,
He worshipped frigid stone;
Her grave is lined with daffodils,
His tombstone stands alone."

Perfection. I agree with Jo and it reminds me of an old song called "Barbara Allen." You did it again t.

Jack Straw
Member

since 2006-03-02

Posts 70

3 posted 2006-03-04 01:53 PM

I wouldn't say perfection but it's a good story of two differing lives and the outcomes of each persons actions. The last stanza is powerful too.
I enjoyed this poem.

StevenS
Senior Member

since 2005-09-21

Posts 945
L. A. (Lower Alabama)

4 posted 2006-03-04 02:02 PM

Well written troubadour! I can't help but wonder if these two should have met,fell in love. What the story might have been. Enjoyed ! :-)

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

5 posted 2006-03-04 02:16 PM

This is a wonderful poem

-<>-~-<>-~-<>-
* Juju *
-<>-~-<>-~-<>-

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

6 posted 2006-03-04 07:35 PM

A wonderful poem...I like the way you used the images to tell the story of these two people. I also wonder what Steven wondered.

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

7 posted 2006-03-04 08:30 PM

very, very touching, troubadour; too sad that the shadow of flowers and stone did not meet; perhaps they did.

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