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Open Poetry #36

Ono no Komachi

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant

since 2004-10-12

Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2005-11-03 02:54 PM

How much more
Do you need to know

It tells you all
To see

Her pull a can
From the garbage bin
And put it in her bag

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

1 posted 2005-11-03 03:31 PM

Wow...this one slaps you in the face!
Enjoyed. Chris

Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance.
~Carl Sandburg

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2005-11-03 07:08 PM

Now y'see? I get the point, but I still wanna know, was there something in the can? If so, what was it? How did she get there? Does she have family? Where is she going to sleep tonight? Is she there by choice or is she truly hungry? What else is in her bag? What is she wearing? Is it cold? Is it hot? And then, I think the most important questions that would plague me--

does she need or want my help, and how do I begin?

There is something to be said for brevity, and I admire your poetry much.

But I was born full of questions.

Thanks for the think.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

3 posted 2005-11-03 11:35 PM

Enjoyed...James

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

4 posted 2007-04-21 03:28 PM

Google "Ono no Komachi" and read her biography. A romantic Japanese woman poet.

what a brick for the Jade!

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