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Open Poetry #36

Strength to survive

Yogi
Member

since 2001-11-05

Posts 68

0 posted 2005-10-20 03:24 PM

I was so lost from the ages of 4 to 18
Many nights entombed in my own bedroom
Afraid even to look through the crack in the door
In case I saw you, saw this devil in disguise

The years passed the beatings grew
Increasing in strength the older and bigger I got
I tried to fight back yet to no avail
He enjoyed my struggle, my pathetic attempt to harm him
He just laughed and walked away with that smirk on his face

I had to pretend to like him in front of my family
You know the smiles and hugs I wish I hadn’t to do
But to him it was victory to see me like this
So he new he was safe from me spilling the beans to mum
As he had me exactly where he wanted me

I remember my 18th birthday with fondness
He tried to beat me yet it was him who took the beating
I just ran from my home disgusted at myself
I promised myself I would never be like my father
Yet I have done what I promised I would never do
So I hated myself for years after that

Now I am still haunted by my father
Yet 6 feet under this earth he lies
In hell he now resides
With all the arsehole this earth has endured
So rest in piece father
For I know rest you will never have

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines