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Open Poetry #35
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Excerpt From Longing, Prelude to Begging
| Open Poetry #35 |
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Excerpt From Longing, Prelude to Begging |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving 
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This home, it breathes; billowing of curtains stained by starlight reaching out sighing night's need to believe you'll come back to me. To gently close these openings ive held wide for you all these years... |
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| © Copyright 2005 Dawn van Krieken-Smith - All Rights Reserved | |||
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
lovely picture and words, Dawn...so nice to read and see you again  M |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
This is striking m'dear. So very good to read you again. TD |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
this shines as   and a heartfelt write~thankyou for sharing a part of you  My spirit will rise |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
nice write |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
ugh i hate when longing goes into the begging stage.... please dont give up your powers |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
this touches..and I can relate.. |
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Goldenrose Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665 |
Nice write and read..good to see you back...thank you.. Goldenrose. Love comforteth like sunshine after rain. (William Shakespeare.) |
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Alicia Member
since 2002-03-22
Posts 279 |
i love the opening line...all of it, but the opening sets me up for understanding the entire space aches and waits with you... |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
thank you everybody for reading Alicia: exactly the mood i intended to set up, glad you felt it |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Love the title!! The rest is pretty good too!  Nice to read you again. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Wonderful writing and a brilliant title, I really enjoyed the read Andrew |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Dawn, it's so good to read you again!! And I love your pic!! Hugs~ |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
not only does it breathe..it sighs along with you. nicely said Dawn M and i knew in the crystalline knowledge of you |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Hope so...you don't have to beg someone that wants to be with you...and if not, life could be miserable...who would want that...James |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I like this very much... excellent write! |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
So simply said, so longing, aching . . .loving. So beautiful. jimmy |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
thank you so much, all of you for reading and feeling this. and Jimmy: thats right, "loving"..it is a gentle wait, a very loving one. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
A gem of a write, Not Muted One! "Curtains stained by starlight" ~ That is a fine example of your creative turns of phrase that I have been missing in your waaay tooooo loooong absence! EA |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
so nice to see you too, and thank you |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
this breathes hon, with a sigh of ache to it... well done gal. Good to see you again, and love your pic. |
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choshi Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184New York |
Wow!!! Dawn, so full and over-flowing with feelings, such longings, burning through... Such "openings held wide.." You have me falling into the abyss with you and relishing every moment, despite the torment So good to see you and your writing ~P |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
You've set the mood like an artist, placing shades and hues exactly in the right places. Love the tone of this--it's so gentle, yet trails of longing are treated ever so fragily in the background. sadie |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
muted It couldn't be that many years, you look so young. Enjoyed the write. |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
Gentle spirit: sooo nice to see you again Donna, thank you so much for reading me choshi: its nice to have someone fall into the emotions with me, thank you Sadie- thank you so much for that lovely compliment, you have felt this poem the way its meant to be felt..delicately, gently Seymour- thank you so much for reading and enjoying...and i am MUCH older than i look |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
to believe you'll come back to me. To gently close these openings ive held wide for you some people are simply blind to what they have until it is lost. hopefully they'll come to their senses and realize their folly in the meantime, hugs from a friend, who is curretnly drywalling his remaining openings grins.sighs. meh. |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
maybe once you finished drywalling, i can help you redecorate so nice to have you looking through my window |
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