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Open Poetry #35
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Fighting Procrastination (Local Parasite's challenge)
| Open Poetry #35 |
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Fighting Procrastination (Local Parasite's challenge) |
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El_Campeador Senior Member
since 2003-01-29
Posts 761Ohio, USA |
This poem is in response to Local Parasite's challenge: /pip/Forum22/HTML/000860.html I found that alliteration is harder than I thought it would be! --- Fighting Procrastination I fought a foe with fierce resolve: I’ll give no ground; I’ll grasp no fear— I’ll not deny the night is long, But triumph takes a tear or two; Yes, triumph takes a tear or two. I fought, and found the final blow Was mine to make, or mine to hold— The win is waiting—will I strike?— I found the foe I fought was me; The foe I fiercely fight is me! |
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| © Copyright 2005 Benjamin Graber - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Thank you for the link to the challenge and for this very well done offering. I enjoy alliteration in poetry and I enjoyed this.  |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
challenge very well met...enjoyed...would be great to music!!! |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
This is very good! You pretty faithfully retained the classic metrical foot, though, by adhering to iambic meter. If you found this difficult, you might try varying your meter a bit more so that it's not so restricting. After all, the alliteration pretty easily controls the meter on its own without having to fall back on imagined ta-TUM ta-TUMs. Loved the topic, though, and especially the chivalric tone in which it is written---combined with the archaic form of the alliterative measure, it created a wonderfully amusing irony. Would love to see more attempts at this meter done in this manner. Thanks for taking me up on my challenge. Brian "God becomes as we are that we may be as he is." ~William Blake |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
(sorry for the double post) |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
By gosh, methinks ye got it, lad! ~ and it was a great poem to boot! I checked out Paracite's challenge and he is one well-informed poet! ~ literally!  I post most of my poems on a wing and a prayer ~ not really knowing what the heaven I'm doing! If I knew only 1/10 th of what he knows of the technical aspects of poetry, I might even impress my self with my own writing!   EA |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Well done indeed!!! |
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