I hate this life I'm living

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Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member

since 2002-05-22

Posts 1667
New York

0 posted 2005-04-06 10:03 PM

I hate that I am in love with you,
and to love your baggage too.

It's not enough this world for me and you,
and then your mother too.

Her words they cut at me,
like a knife butchering me into two.

I can barely take another minute of it,
but you're not the one i cannot take.

Why does it have to be like this?
Why can't she just be reasonable?

I love you, but I hate being with you,
when you're with her.

I can't stand here each day,
watching her rip into you.

Yeah, they are just words,
but they effect you too.

Abuse is what it is,
do I need to spell it out to you.

She hurts you,
your mother is crazy.

And our children,
if there ever comes a day.

They won't ever see her,
she's not even welcome in my house.

I am sorry babe,
but she will abuse them too.

I know you can see it, you aren't blind,
but you love her and thats why you are still here.

But she will never see her grandchildren,
or we just won't bother having them.

Because I can't have you,
if I have to have her.

All the drama,
its second rate.

I deny her,
I won't even come near her.

I wish it weren't,
but its over.

You have to stick with family,
and I can't stick to the abuse.

Good bye baby,
I love you.

Honey, hopefully someday you understand it as clear as I do. That someday you will say goodbye just like I did. She is wrong and you know it. I can't watch you cry another minute. I can see the pain in your heart when she walks into the room. Babe, I can't stand that you let her treat you like that. That you let her run her mouth the way she does. I love you honey, but I must say goodbye. I am too weak to stay around any longer. The more I stay here the harder I fall to the ground. The longer I am abused the more I feel like falling beneath the ground. It makes me want to die just watching her yell at you. It's not right you shouldn't suffer like you do.

Babe, I love you.

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

1 posted 2005-04-06 10:39 PM

Feeling your unhappiness here but "love" is indeed a many splendid thing and we shouldn't be too hasty in turning away from it because of outsiders. Just my thought.

Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member

since 2002-05-22

Posts 1667
New York

2 posted 2005-04-06 11:16 PM

I see your point, but I think that the bridges are burned and repairing them is near impossible. His mother is emotionally abusive to almost everyone she comes in contact with. I can't imagine putting myself through this anymore that I already have and I can't stand seeing him hurt the way she makes him hurt.

I have tried so hard, but when I really think about the future.. I wonder if when I have her grandchildren and I bring them to see her and she abuses them emotionally like she does her own children and their friends.. I would feel horrible and it just isn't a good situation for anyone to be in.

I probably am not being 100% rational in this because I have hurt feelings because his mother doesn't have enough decency to tell me to my face that she hates me... and from the source that told me that she said that... it was because of my mere existance.

I just don't want to see him hurting nor do I want to have to hurt anymore. I think that it would be better if we went our seperate ways even if it were just until she gets over what ever is tweaking her but from her history it is always going to be this way. So I really don't know what I am going to do. I however, do not forsee the sitation being solved without someone getting hurt emotionally.

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

3 posted 2005-04-07 01:58 AM

People are such strange creatures and I do sympathise with you. "Fight", dear lady, (and I don't mean that literally) for what you believe in and if it all eventually comes apart, know that you did your best. We can always only ever do our best in this thing called life. Your writing has just saddned me so because all that type of thing is such a waste of energy that could be put to better use. Hmm? Perhaps see it as a test to help you overcome negative situations and then if you succeed ... you'll be smiling always! Good luck!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2005-04-07 01:27 PM

I'm no Ann Landers, but maybe you should sit down and have a chat with her. Maybe she doesn't feel that way about you at all, she's just that harsh type of person. Maybe you'll find things out that you didn't know before. Maybe she's been hurt too.

What does he think of all this?

Giving up on love is not the answer.

Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member

since 2002-05-22

Posts 1667
New York

5 posted 2005-07-07 08:31 AM

Well. You were right, all we needed to do was talk, and we are fine for now. At least on speaking terms. TY Dixie..

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