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Open Poetry #35
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Revision Decision
| Open Poetry #35 |
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Revision Decision |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA 
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Was the pouring and the snoring that did bring to slurring lips the ignoring of that roaring as my stagger almost trips. This I ponder in my wander as a saunter brings to eyes such a venture of adventure and the thirst of hallowed prize. For my roaming and the combing of the flowing waters rush brings to hearing and the rearing of a roses soft red blush. And the moment brings to ferment the enjoyment of the vine as the vintage does employ that which the swagger gains of wine. For the bubbles lead to trouble and the grapes bleed ever sweet till the bowel brings out a rumble from the head down to the feet. And the vision in decision sees the twain of souls in view as the mission of revision speaks most loudly of the brew. [This message has been edited by Magnus (03-19-2005 07:24 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2005 Barry J. Tackett - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
A most excellent write Barry!  Love the rhyming here..rolls off the tongue so smoothly. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ For it was not into my ear you whispered |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
now this is one that should be read aloud! nicely done! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Barry, Rolls off the tongue from out the gobblet to down the gullet. That makes for a russet faucet. LOL enjoyed |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Well, I'd have to say that your poem most definitely is not in need of a revision! ~ and the rhythmic cadence was down-right lyrical!  Linda |
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J.Samm Member
since 2004-01-12
Posts 415Iloilo City, Philippines |
i just love your wordplay, magnus! best appreciated when read aloud |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Agreeing with the others comments. Perfect dear Magnus my friend ! hugs, Chris You are ice and fire. The touch of you burns my hands like snow. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
For the bubbles lead to trouble Not here... they led to pure delight!!! Replace that stagger with a swagger, my friend... this is deserving! *S* |
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