The Hollow of Burn--(Littlewing & Greeneyes)

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Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2004-10-21 11:57 AM

A slow burn
ignited
begins its ascent
as I dangle,
limp and sullied
upon my own crucifix

where I have tried to capture
this emotion, a dull ache,
nesting
making its final resting place,
in the hollow of my chest

But, I fail.

My eyes, shrouded
yet wide open,
stare into profoundness and

the only sign of life,
is a single tear
routing its course
down a disintegrating highway

lingering there these days
pressing cool curves underneath-
holding on loosely- -

feeling   pine kiss  thirsty lips
searching in lines and spraying light
for the       cut of shadows

this naked landscape leaves
me chilled to the bone

it is still daytime:
             when soft rains begin to fall

each drop from this sky,
barren long before I,
mingle with the brine
now angered and crusted
settled upon my cheeks.

Caked with failure

It is difficult
to squint into this blindness,
such expanse
a landscape, this life,
and find myself

split

between desperation and madness

I force my lips to part,
to drink of myself
only to expel my tongue,
singed
by unforgiving desert winds

I have no choice
but to tilt my chin to the clouds,
mouth wide open, screaming

to pray for my release.

Outspoken lyrics in a mirror of echoes,

mocking   the cool pulse

as stones sleep
in stolen dreams

darkening  all words
pressing palms to
the twilight of heaven

We live in space, through stages
            in pause and thought
reflecting slow burn
harvested by time

~~*~~
Read between the lines
look deep into each word
and you will understand the
depth of my soul (GE)
~~**~~

babygirlwlove
Senior Member

since 2004-10-10

Posts 1180
New York City

1 posted 2004-10-21 12:03 PM

"between desperation and madness

I force my lips to part,
to drink of myself
only to expel my tongue,
singed
by unforgiving desert winds"

what a release....excellent collab you two...
**babygirL**

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

2 posted 2004-10-21 12:10 PM

OMG!! This is fantastic!
I do hope you two will duet again and soon!!
~Sending Hugs to you Both, Nancy~

~Autumn..the year's last, loveliest smile.~

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

3 posted 2004-10-21 12:17 PM

ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh gawwwwwwwwwwwwwwd.
Ladies....shakin my head...
tis not just the beauty of this that pulled me in, but the depths found within your words mingled...

speechless except a quiet whisper of
"more.....please"....

The greatest beauty on earth, is
found in the hearts of those
who love....

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

4 posted 2004-10-21 12:26 PM

Sue...

thank you for allowing me to touch the inner depth....

~~*~~
Read between the lines
look deep into each word
and you will understand the
depth of my soul (GE)
~~**~~

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

5 posted 2004-10-21 12:35 PM

I don't know who brought who into this dark reverie, or if you found yourselves there together. I can only say that there is a "oneness" about this write that is, well, uncanny.

And a depth that belies its spare frame.

Praise, would not be enough

muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

6 posted 2004-10-21 12:47 PM

"as stones sleep
in stolen dreams

darkening all words
pressing palms to
the twilight of heaven

We live in space, through stages
in pause and thought
reflecting slow burn
harvested by time "

Awesome ladies!!!
....very well written, and i look foward to more

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

7 posted 2004-10-21 03:41 PM

babyg, Nancy, Ed, Donna and Dawn . . . thank you so very much for reading,

your replies are humbling and we found each other along this path for sure and Lauren?
Thank YOU for bringing it home.

Thanks guys, this was amazing to write with Lauren.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

8 posted 2004-10-21 04:33 PM

A fantabulous duet, Lauren, Sue...well done both of you. I tried to pick out who wrote what but to no avail. Excellent!

Maree

and I am haunted
by my illicit exquisite dream
but I can't really wake up
so I just drift in between

~ani difranco~

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

9 posted 2004-10-21 06:47 PM

bravo ladies.. bravo...

as usual..I'm left speechless.. when I read the likes of you two

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

10 posted 2004-10-22 01:09 AM

A duet where one pen cannot be distinquished from the other. An excellent read and pairing.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

11 posted 2004-10-22 04:27 AM

Maree, Ron and Mark,

thank you so much . . . it was ALL Lauren who made seem seamless *smile*

Thanks guys.

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

12 posted 2004-12-04 11:27 PM

I needed this poem. I mean, needed it... just now. I'm so glad I found it.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

MGROVES

Member Elite

since 2004-02-01

Posts 3802
california

13 posted 2004-12-04 11:42 PM

enjoyed

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

14 posted 2004-12-05 07:13 AM

Sue and Lauren, I am so glad that this was brought back up.....otherwise, I may have missed reading it. This is beyond words, it's so beautiful. But, when I saw two of my favorite friends names together, I knew it would be awesome. Is there more? If so, point me to them. Okay?
Heart hugs to you both

Hugs,
Ethel

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

15 posted 2004-12-05 10:47 AM

You guys need to do another duet!!!

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

Ericc
Member Elite

since 2003-01-31

Posts 4178

16 posted 2004-12-05 03:21 PM

Two of my favorites.

Joined in an awesome write!

Eric

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

17 posted 2004-12-05 10:32 PM

You had me at the title - great craftladyship

Sure can't figure out who is who, now that's good!

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

18 posted 2004-12-05 10:39 PM

Lauren and Sue

A profound melding of poetic talent...I'm so glad I didn't miss it!

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

19 posted 2004-12-06 03:44 AM

This is a desperate, beautiful plea.
You two sing as though you are one.
Wonderful! I love it.

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

20 posted 2004-12-07 07:32 PM

OMG you guys are so good to us!
Thanks for bringing it back up and thank you so much for liking it.

(was all Lauren)

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

21 posted 2004-12-07 07:45 PM

Very refined poetry, girls.

You soar.

Love, Margherita

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

22 posted 2004-12-07 09:01 PM

enjoying this slow burning reflection
of two hearts singing in beautiful harmony

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